Toby Keith Intervention Kit

Here's the first in a new series that is the opposite of Country Universe's "Starter Kits." While the point of their articles is to get you hooked on a singer or band by presenting you with selective tiny doses of "good" songs, the purpose of the "Intervention Kit" is to help you realize the error of your ways in following certain artists by reminding you of their most embarrassing songs. No need to thank me, I'm here to help.

Toby Keith was a hitmaking force in the nineties, consistently releasing meaningful and well-crafted songs, including the most played song of the 90's "Should've Been a Cowboy." His powerful voice and neo-traditional leanings made him a B-List country star with a consistent track record. Towards the end of the decade, a general dulling of Keith's single releases and behind the scenes record company wranglings faded his star a bit. Ever the hard worker, TK reemerged in 2000 with a career making hit, "How Do You Like Me Now?" An event song with more than a little attitude, "HDYLMN" catapulted Keith onto the A-List and he never looked back. By that, I mean he never looked back at putting out meaningful and well-crafted songs (for the most part). His 1990's songs are good to excellent with a few turds, while the inverse is true about his 2000's output. Hopefully, this list will break you of your thing for the egotistical roughneck.

Ten Non-Essential Tracks

“I Wanna Talk About Me”
from the 2001 album Pull My Chain

How the writer of the genre's greatest song (Bobby Braddock/He Stopped Loving Her Today) could devolve to this drivel is beyond me, but this thing is annoying, shallow and brash, all hallmark traits of the latter half of TK's career.

“Courtesy of the Red, White & Blue (The Angry American)”
from the 2002 album Unleashed

While the intent of this song is honorable, in my humble opinion, the method is hamfisted and brickheaded. The artist's hand is quite evident in the painting, as it were... the craft is weak. "A mighty sucker punch came flying in from somewhere in the back"? Indeed.

“Who's Your Daddy”
from the 2002 album Unleashed

Here's the chorus: "Who's your daddy, who's your baby, who's your buddy, who's your man?" Need I say more?

“Beer for My Horses”
from the 2002 album Unleashed (was a hit in 2003)

It hurts me deeply that this is (Keith's duet partner) Willie Nelson's only major hit of the past decade.

“Whiskey Girl”
from the 2003 album Shock'n Y'all

The first (first hit, anyway) in a long line of "rowdy gal anthems" in TK's repertoire, this bears no relation to the Gillian Welch tune of the same name, in terms of sound or quality.

“Stays in Mexico”
from the 2004 album Greatest Hits, Vol. II

This song is just flat-out creepy. A philandering insurance salesman gets it on with a innocent but slumming first grade teacher... in Mexico - and we're supposed to sing along.

“High Maintenance Woman”
from the 2007 album Big Dog Daddy

Another creepy tune - this time recounting the lovely tale of an apartment fix-it man fantasizing about the local hottie. Charming.

“She's a Hottie”
from the 2008 album 35 Biggest Hits

See "Whiskey Girl." She's a hottie and she got a smokin' little body. What else would you rhyme hottie with?

“God Love Her”
from the 2008 album That Don't Make Me a Bad Guy

See "Whiskey Girl." There are parts of this lyric that make Andrew W.K. sound like Bob Dylan.

“American Ride”
from the forthcoming 2009 album American Ride

An intelligent and sensitively rendered pondering on the American condition in the late 2000's. LOL, JK! It's another big, bad "America kicks ass" anthem! (I still agree with the sentiment - just not the delivery.)

Lesser Known Detritus

“Mockingbird”
From the 2004 album Greatest Hits, Vol. II

I'm sure his daughter will do just fine in the industry, this just maybe wasn't the vehicle to introduce her with.

“Honkytonk U”
From the 2005 album Honkytonk University

This song is mentionable for being one thing that even Keith's worst songs usually aren't - boring.