Online Edition
(a parody of Hank Jr's "Family Tradition")
Country music singers
Have always been a real close family
But lately some of the critics
Have been getting a little too mean
Those nitwits say
We're headed in a sucky direction
Read all about it in the online edition
They bag on me, wanna know stuff like
Where is the steel?
And where is the fiddle?
Why must you always pander to the middle?
Over and over
Spouting their opinions
It makes me pissed
The stuff they've writ
In that online edition
I am very proud
Of my big old truck
And I'll tell you about it
In a song that will surely suck
It'll hit those charts
And shoot right up to the top position
But they don't care, those queers out there
And their online edition
Don't ask me, hoss
Where is the cheating?
And where is the sin?
Why must you brag on your rural origins?
If on my next album
I make some poor song selections
Don't go running me down
When I'm not around
In your online edition
Lordy, I have charmed some ladies
To get to where I am
And you can hear me playing
From every mama's minivan
So don't you try to tell me
That I'm bound for perdition
Just because they claim every song's the same
In that online edition
It makes me wonder, man
Where do they live?
And how can I get there?
What can I do to give them fools a scare?
Loading up my shotgun
I'm gonna have them wishin'
They could run from what they done
In that online edition
They'll shut up when, I put an end
To that online edition.
Karen Staley also did a parody on Family Tradition. Give a listen to "Thyroid Condition" on her MySpace. I heard her sing it at the Bluebird Cafe this past summer. She had everyone laughing.
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