Top 10 Things Miranda Lambert was Thinking When She Won ACM Best Female Vocalist

10. Blake, get your hand off your crotch, the camera's on us

9. I should have done a little more pre-drinking

8. Damn, Reba's rack is shiny

7. Wish I could shoot something, wish I could shoot something, wish I could shoot something

6. I wonder what Buddy Jewell is doing right about now?

5. Hooo, Luke Bryan's breath smelled like mountain oysters and road apples. Mix in a Mentos or something, dude.

4. How the hell does Reba get her rack that shiny???

3. Blake, stop staring at Reba's rack!

2. Yeah yeah I know, the winner is Taylor Sw... wait... what?

1. Ha ha, kiss my ass, Martina!