From Dec. 8, 2008
What Xmas is All About
©2008 FTM Satires
Neighbor was in his yard one December morn
Arranging some little dolls and a toy barn
Said it was something called a nativity scene
I just shook my head, decided to be nice
And offered him some neighborly advice
"Friend, don't you know what Christmas really means?"
Chorus
Man, it's icicle lights and inflatable elves
Hickory Farms and half price sales
And Shriners riding go-carts at the big parade downtown
It's an eggnog buzz at the office shindig
It's Rudolph, Santa and pudding figs
Just helpin' out,
now you know what Christmas is all about
He just stared at me like my nose was on fire
Looked at my big sleigh suspended by wires
Asked me "Ain't you ever heard of the virgin birth?"
Said "If I want a sermon, I'll go to church"
He said "That's the reason we celebrate"
I had to laugh, but then I set him straight
Chorus 2
Cause It's a Wonderful Life and that mean ol' Grinch
It's my pants size going up an inch
It's window flocking, Christmas tree rocking and huge Walmart crowds
It's fruit cake, cookies and big shiny balls
It's getting drunk to put up with inlaws
Man get a clue,
now you know what Christmas is all about
Bridge
He said "Merry Christmas" and walked away
Stuck some little baby down in the hay
He'll never learn...
That it's icicle lights and inflatable elves
Overstock dot com and half price sales
It's Santa on the firetruck at the big parade downtown
It's an eggnog buzz at the office shindig
It's Rudolph, Frosty and pudding figs
He just doesn't understand what Christmas is all about
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