Top 10 Rules for Writing a Hit Country Song in 2014

Inspired by this. (Link)

10. Check Billboard's charts archives and see

what was popular in pop and rap 10 years ago. Do that.

09. Be a famous person's offspring.

08. Write what you know, unless you know about anything other

than leaning on your truck in a pasture drinking fake moonshine and staring

at the rear ends of females dancing beside a bonfire to a song about leaning

on your truck in a pasture drinking fake moonshine and staring at the

rear ends of females dancing beside a bonfire.

07. When writing a song for a female artist, stop doing that.

06. Move to Nashville. Do you honestly think a record exec is going to come

to your house so you can give them sexual favors to get your foot in the door?

05. Be in a fraternity and when one of your fellow members

gets into the business, they'll hook you up, bro.

04. Go to a club where critically lauded Americana or roots rock artists perform

and listen to their earnest, heartfelt songs. Maybe even talk with them after the show and find out about their motives and inspirations so you can make sure to never do any of that stuff.

03. Kiss ass kiss ass kiss ass.

02. Don't write a country song.

01. Sit down for a few hours with your guitar and a bottle of whiskey and pour out your

emotions into a powerful song about hurt, love and the power of the human spirit.

Then throw that sumbitch in the trash and go write a truck song with 3 other dudes.