Mar 12, 2015

Top 10 Traits for Getting a Country Record Deal 2015

10. Pretty smile, nice boobs, tight ass (that's for the males)

9. Ability to to perform a Dr. Dre/Hozier/Adele medley
during the breakdown portion of your latest "country" single

8. Strong knowledge of advanced skin care techniques including
cleansing, exfoliating, targeted treatments, and moisturizing

7. Nominal vocal skills

6. Enough knowledge of country music history
to feign reverence for previous generations

 5. Repertoire of kowtowing, adherence to 1950's traditional gender roles,
willingness to soften strong opinions with humor and over-politeness (that's for the females)

4. Strong slang vocabulary - must know difference between thot and tho

3. Malleable sense of self, deference to trends, lack of regard for genre fundamentals

2. Must look good in neutral colored henleys

1. Permanent five o'clock shadow

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