Jul 6, 2016

Album Review: Drunk Couples - Blasted!

**Salty language ahead**

Drunk Couples - Blasted!
A Review by Robert Dean

Let’s cut the bullshit, 30/40-something-year-olds: Drunk Couples is the band we talk about wishing we could be in, but can’t because we’ve got jobs that don’t allow for touring, kids in diapers and yards to maintain.

*Three guys drinking beer at dive bar, listening to Dag Nasty or The Dead Boys*
“Fuck, man. If I were in a band, it’d sound like THIS. Just plug in, no effects on my guitar, straight amp.”
“Dude. For real. Just super fast and fun. No ballads or bummer songs. Everything is about rad times and drinking.”

The friends toast beers and daydream for a while, promise one another they’ll get together, but life happens. Welcome to middle age punk rocker hell.

Fortunately, Drunk Couples exists and woooooo are they the cat’s ass. This is precisely the band we need in this sad-ass world. On their debut record, Blasted! – we’re toasted with a gaggle of sounds giving the finger and without a single ounce of giving a shit about what anyone thinks. What more do you want?

This is as good time, classic fuck you punk rock as it gets. It’s brash, fun and fast. We’ve got enough bands wanting to tell stories of heartache or about political revolution (We get it, trust us). Imagine if Hot Water Music’s Chuck Ragan fronted a fun time party band that had more in common with Refused’s guitar playing, and Rancid’s rhythm section - that’s the cocktail Drunk Couples provides.

"Raising Hell in The Holy City" is a crusher that’s goddamned electric. It’s full throttle rock and roll, screaming: “I came here on acid and fucked up on pills.” No whiny anthems about missing home or getting the love back into your life. Just rowdy beer spillers.

My only complaint about Drunk Couples is they’re not on available on vinyl yet. Get it together, boys. I want to crank this shit in my house, not on my laptop.

But, as a means to convince you to go and support these dudes, I offer this list of things Drunk Couples sound like:

    •    Drunk Couples give off a vibe. A vibe that feels like an old army jacket that kinda smells like weed, orange juice, and spilled beer.
    •    Drunk Couples sounds like a band you put on at a party because only a jerk would complain about having fun.
    •    Drunk Couples sound like a band whose tape is stuck in your friends Camaro, but he's cool with it, so doesn’t bother to fish it out with a knife.
    •    Drunk Couples sound like their live shows would be fun as hell, people throwing tallboys into ceiling fans while some chick in coochie cutters and steel toe boots revenge kicks your dick friend Charlie in the teeth for talking shit when she rejected him.
    •    Drunk Couples sounds like what you imagine getting hit with a frying pan sounds like.

You get the point? Buy their record, go to their shows. Buy a shirt for your best friend. Don’t fight in the parking lot, because no one likes a dick.

Blasted! is $8 at Drunk Couples' Bandcamp: https://drunkcouples.bandcamp.com/album/blasted

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