Feb 22, 2017

Little Known Facts: Outlaw Country Cruise Edition

Little Known Facts: Outlaw Country Cruise Edition
AKA 'Rubbing It In Trailer's Face That He's Not Going'

By Jeremy Harris

While at sea, Donald Trump will sign an executive order preventing 
Steve Earle from reentering America. Steve won't mind.

Shooter Jennings will be late for at least one show because 
Jessi Colter will forget to sign him out of daycare.

The Band Perry are a late addition to the cruise. 
Luckily for them they all got the same shift in the kitchen.

There is a waiting list of seagulls that want to play 
in Chicken Shit Bingo with Dale Watson.

Crew members will have to move the Mojo Nixon swear jar 
to the center of the ship to prevent capsizing.

Nobody will wonder where Luke Bryan is. They also won't give a shit.

Brian Kendrick will not be on RAW on February 27th.

The cruise will last several additional days after 
Elizabeth Cook overtakes the captain.

When asked if he's bringing any produce aboard, 
Eddie Spaghetti will hope they mean vegetables.

Brantley Gilbert tried to get on the cruise but you have to 
have a bank account to purchase tickets.

Pirates around the world have warned each other not to mess with this cruise. 
Reason: Billy Joe Shaver

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