Mar 16, 2017
Farce Madness: Crown the Worst Country Song Ever!
This won't be an annual thing, but we're doing a Farce Madness tournament this year to crown the Worst Country Song of All Time. The selections are based on several "worst country song" lists from various online sources, personal tastes, reader input, and recent "worst country single of the year" lists Saving Country Music and FTM have compiled.
The seedings will surely be a point of contention with some, but musical taste is obviously subjective. The rankings are based on a combination of popular opinion, impact (which means the ones that weren't hits are REALLY bad), creating good pairings for voting, and my personal tastes (with some randomness thrown in). You can debate them if you want, but the point is figuring out the worst song, so in the grand scheme of things, that's all that matters. Clearly, we could do a 64 song tournament entirely made up of bro-country songs, but that would be boring, and I wanted the tourney to be diverse.
Voting will take place on Twitter (follow us here: https://twitter.com/Farcethemusic), due to the difficulty and/or cost of using polls on this ancient Blogger format.
The voting will go by region at first. I'm not sure of the exact schedule, but the voting rounds may loosely follow the NCAA college basketball tournament.
You can enter the Farce Madness contest to win some stuff (CD's, merch) from the Farce the Music stash. Send us who you think will be the last 4 songs remaining, in order. Whoever is first and most correct wins. Send your final four (ranked 1-4) to firstname.lastname@example.org by Monday, March 20 to enter.
There's a bracket at the bottom you can peruse and even print out if you should wish. We'll give an update here after the first round.
Here are the regions, an explanation of the grouping (though some songs are randomly tossed into regions because it didn't balance out perfectly), and seedings.
If there are songs you don't know or haven't heard in a while, hit up YouTube.
The Junk Drawer region begins action this afternoon on Twitter. Bro-Country tomorrow. "Oldies" Monday. Meat & Potatoes region Tuesday.
Pre-2000 singles and much-derided cuts
1. Donna Fargo - Funny Face
16. Tammy Wynette - Honey (I Miss You)
8. Diamond Rio - Bubba Hyde
9. Jimmy Dickens - Raggedy Ann
5. Red Sovine - Teddy Bear
12. Jeff Carson - Butterfly Kisses
4. Tim McGraw - Indian Outlaw
13. Neal McCoy - The Shake
6. Sylvia - Nobody
11. Jim Reeves - Bimbo
3. Kenny Chesney - She Thinks My Tractor’s Sexy
14. George Jones - High Tech Redneck
7. Johnny Cash - The Chicken in Black
10. Cal Smith - Country Bumpkin
2. Billy Ray Cyrus - Achy Breaky Heart
15. Dolly Parton / Billy Ray Cyrus - Romeo
Bro Country Region
You know the deal.
Notes: Chris Lane's "Fix" won a play-in against Dustin Lynch's "Seein' Red."
FGL's "This is How We Roll" won a play-in against other FGL songs.
1. Luke Bryan - That’s My Kind of Night
16. Old Dominion - Snapback
8. Jerrod Niemann - Donkey
9. Jason Aldean - Dirt Road Anthem
5. Trace Adkins - Honky Tonk Badonkadonk
12. Brantley Gilbert - Bottoms Up
4. Jason Aldean - 1994
13. Chris Lane - Fix
6. Tim McGraw - Truck Yeah
11. Sam Hunt - Body Like a Back Road
3. Florida-Georgia Line - Sun Daze
14. Chase Rice - Ready Set Roll
7. Blake Shelton - Boys Round Here
10. Florida-Georgia Line / Luke Bryan - This Is How We Roll
2. Thomas Rhett - Vacation
15. Justin Moore - Bait a Hook
Meat & Potatoes Region
There's some bro here and Taylor Swift, but this is mostly middle-of-the-road modern mainstream artists
1. Luke Bryan - Country Girl (Shake It For Me)
16. Reba McEntire - Turn on the Radio
8. Rodney Atkins - Watching You
9. Toby Keith - Red Solo Cup
5. Zac Brown Band - Beautiful Drug
12. Travis Tritt - Girls Gone Wild
4. Lonestar - Mr. Mom
13. Shania Twain - That Dont Impress Me Much
6. Rascal Flatts - Bob That Head
11. Taylor Swift - We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together
3. Sugarland - Stuck Like Glue
14. Kenny Chesney & George Strait - Shift Work
7. Big & Rich - Comin’ To Your City
10. Jake Owen - 8 Second Ride
2. Daryl Worley - Have You Forgotten
15. Alan Jackson - I Still Like Bologna
The Junk Drawer Region
Embarrassing singles, hated album cuts, and awful gimmick songs
1. Danielle Bradbery - Friend Zone
16. Charlie Daniels - This Ain’t No Rag, It’s a Flag
8. Bucky Covington - Gotta Be Somebody
9. Clint Black - Iraq and Roll
5. Trace Adkins - Brown Chicken Brown Cow
12. Krista Marie - Jeep Jeep
4. Any Kane Brown Song
13. Fast Ryde - That Thang
6. Brad Paisley - Accidental Racist w/LL Cool J
11. Phil Vassar - Bobbi With An I
3. Claire Dunn - Tuxedo
14. Craig Morgan - Corn Star
7. The Band Perry - Live Forever
10. Blackjack Billy - The Booze Cruise
2. Haley Georgia - Ridiculous
15. Faith Hill - Bringing Out the Elvis