May 31, 2017
A New Summer Smash Hit
Just Like We Did Last Summer
©2017 FTM Satire
©2017 FTM Satire
Baby here we go again
A summer song for your and your friends
June, July and August heat
It's the same damn song with a different beat
Ice cold beers and happy tears
Cause swimsuit styles show more ass this year
Pour up drinks till the world's a blur
And crank whatever rapper's popular
Just like we did last summer
Dumb ass music and weak rum runners
You got pirate booty and I wanna plunder
No it ain't legal, but you got my number
Beaches, buds, and backseat hummers
Just like we did last summer
Honey, here's where I hip-hop talk
Even though I'm as white as chalk
Let's skinny dip, get a tan
Then dance by some trucks the way you can
If booty's wrong I'm a sinner
So turn it around like a fidget spinner
Auto-tune this familiar line
Pass around a jar of store bought shine
Just like we did last summer
Pickup trucks, Jeeps, and Forerunners
Country boys booming that bass like thunder
If the cops show up it'll be a bummer
Beaches, buds, and backseat hummers
Just like we did last summer
Bridge
This part's where we slow it down and get a little romantic
Girl you save me from myself, moonlight, blah blah enchanted
You be the housewife, I'll be the plumber...
Just like we did last summer
Dumb ass music and weak rum runners
You got pirate booty and I wanna plunder
No it ain't legal, but you got my number
Beaches, buds, and backseat hummers
Just like we did last summer
May 30, 2017
Tuesday Morning Memes XL Edition: Sam, FGL, Alan, Tiger, etc.
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| Borrowed from Bryan Childs... don't know the source |
A Ramblin' Man Goes Home
We lost another good one Saturday. Gregg Allman remains one of the most mythical figures in the country/southern rock/jam band world, and for a good reason. The guy marries Cher, defies humanity by ingesting every substance known to man, survives sickness, and multiple liver problems. A hitchhiker murdered Gregg Allman’s dad, and his slide guitar genius brother, Duane was killed on a Harley. Gregg Allman lived a life we should all be so lucky even to sniff, tragedy and all.
For over forty years, we’ve been lucky enough to watch him take us on a relentless musical journey that featured so many twists and turns, along with some well-documented hills and valleys.
With a voice that rose like smoke, Gregg Allman was 100% pure Americana with equal parts Soul and Blues. He (with co-founders brother Duane, Dickey Betts, Berry Oakley, Butch Trucks, and Jai Johanson) took an integrated band from the deepest south and introduced some of rock and roll’s most timeless jams with "Ramblin’ Man" and the ultra amazing, "Midnight Rider," to the epic "Whipping Post." With a sound that was quiet and slow one moment, and vicious and roaring the next, one of the main threads throughout the magical sound of The Allman Brothers Band, was Gregg Allman’s presence on his Hammond Organ and that beautiful voice.
It’s hard to quantify these losses when they happen. We start throwing out the influences, the influencers and who showed who the guitar licks that changed the world. The tributes are pouring in and rightly so: Gregg Allman is a pillar of southern rock and to a greater degree a signifier of the power of rock and roll. If there ever were a moment in time where the Allman Brothers didn’t have a song for a moment in life, we’d be remiss to say Gregg Allman’s music had a soft spot, but fortunately for us, his legacy has those songs and even more – hard as a rock.
There’s a voodoo magic to the Allman Brothers. It’s raw but refined, spiritual but heathenish. The songs traipse through augmented reality in a way that they couldn’t be only written but conjured.
Rest easy Gregg. I hope you got to see Duane and your momma.
May 29, 2017
May 28, 2017
May 27, 2017
May 26, 2017
My Name is Earl Country Reaction Gifs
What is your analysis of the lyrics of the new Dylan Scott song?
What it feels like to listen to mainstream country radio...
I know you like Jon Pardi. He's touring with Luke Bryan.
Wanna go?
How do you feel about Kelsea Ballerini?
When you catch your kids listening to The Chainsmokers
Sturgill Simpson is opening for Guns n' Roses???
Should I be embarrassed to have a favorite FGL song?
Country Stars React to the Nuclear Apocalypse
On Wednesday evening, North Korea launched an ICBM tipped with a nuclear warhead toward Hawaii. The missile fell into the Pacific Ocean and detonated relatively harmlessly. However, the US launched a return strike, decimating Pyongyang and several military centers of North Korea.
In retaliation for the unilateral action, China torpedoed a US destroyer in the South China Sea, setting off a vicious sea battle won decisively by the United States. In Beijing, a rogue official hacked into the nuclear launch systems and fired two ICBM's toward Los Angeles, which exploded just off the coast, killing thousands. The US immediately fired a return volley from ballistic missile submarines off the coast of Japan.
Within hours, more than one billion human beings had perished in a fiery hell, before a cease fire was agreed upon by several of the few remaining naval officers of the Chinese and US fleets. A cold, sooty darkness fell over the earth and suffering became the rule instead of the exception.
As hospitals and morgues struggled to keep up with the glut of dying and dead, and power grids and servers across the country began to blink out for the final time, we wondered what today's hottest country music stars and media personalities were saying on social media! Here's what was on their minds!
In retaliation for the unilateral action, China torpedoed a US destroyer in the South China Sea, setting off a vicious sea battle won decisively by the United States. In Beijing, a rogue official hacked into the nuclear launch systems and fired two ICBM's toward Los Angeles, which exploded just off the coast, killing thousands. The US immediately fired a return volley from ballistic missile submarines off the coast of Japan.
Within hours, more than one billion human beings had perished in a fiery hell, before a cease fire was agreed upon by several of the few remaining naval officers of the Chinese and US fleets. A cold, sooty darkness fell over the earth and suffering became the rule instead of the exception.
As hospitals and morgues struggled to keep up with the glut of dying and dead, and power grids and servers across the country began to blink out for the final time, we wondered what today's hottest country music stars and media personalities were saying on social media! Here's what was on their minds!
May 25, 2017
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