Feb 20, 2018

Top 10 Biggest Jerks in Americana Music

Some would imagine that the fan-friendly, honest Americana music scene would not be as likely to contain divas and d-bags as the more mainstream genres of music. However, thanks to critic and hipster love for the buzzworthy genre, things have changed of late. This groundswell has slowly created a context wherein all manner of unlikely aspirants are more apt to let their jerk flag fly. Here are some of the genre's most egregious offenders.


10. Brent Cobb
"Forgets" to invite cousin Dave to family functions
Band members only allowed to speak to him by text message


9. Rhiannon Giddens
Borrows band members' phones and logs out of everything
Once put a fan who accidentally called her 'Rihanna' in a triangle choke submission hold


8. Amanda Shires
Wouldn't speak to husband, Jason, for a month when he opposed the name "Taco Lucinda" for their daughter
Performed an entire show of Rob Thomas covers when one crowd was smaller than anticipated


7. Rob Baird
Always eats the middle cinnamon roll out of the pan first
Spends hours a day leaving 1 star iTunes reviews on other Americana artists
Will only autograph thongs


6. Shooter Jennings
Puffs, doesn't pass
Got a secret tip and sold all his Bitcoin to Marilyn Manson just before Bitcoin crashed
Plans to do an all-EDM tour later this year


5. Ward Davis
Secretly bullies Cody Jinks
Still says "Dilly Dilly!"
Keeps telling everybody new music is coming "soon" but it never does


4. Holly Williams
First person to ingest a Tide Pod on video
Can only name 3 Hank Sr. songs
Drives 10 mph below speed limit in left lane


3. Drew Kennedy
Never cleans stations in the gym after using them
Doesn't wash out the sink after beard grooming
Tour rider includes "organic kale candy" and "fitted hemp Phillies cap"


2. Courtney Patton
Spreads rumors about Jamie Lin Wilson on Snapchat
Tells dirty jokes at funerals
Vapes dill pickle flavor at songwriting sessions


1. Paul Thorn
Does the old "replace the vodka with water" trick on his tour bus
Constantly reminds fans he used to be a boxer
Never plays his top 5 songs on Spotify in concert
Always has a few credit card skimmers on hand

26 comments:

  1. Is “Dilly Dilly,” not cool, funny or ironic anymore? Damnit!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I've met Paul Thorn and he's super nice and appreciative. Look up 800 Pound Jesus.

      Delete
  2. Shooter Jennings is the only one of that group I have even heard of. Must be pretty irrelevant artists.

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    Replies
    1. I was going to make a snarky reply, but I'll just say that if you like Americana, you're missing out by not knowing them.

      Delete
    2. Ha only shooter jennings? Check out cody jinks ward davis and Courtney Patton. You won't be disappointed. And holly Williams is a Williams. As in hank Williams grand daughter. Ever heard of hank Williams?

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    3. I think we found the real douchebag on this page.

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    4. Not nearly as irrelivant as you.

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    5. Bless her heart, folks. She rockinrobyn77 must not get out much. Or she lets mainstream country radio control who she listens to. I think you'd change your mind if got a little taste of Ward Davis, Cody Jinks, Colter Wall, Sunny Sweeney, and the like.

      Delete
    6. Irellavent my ass WARD DAVIS is a song Smith of the tallest order .listen to unfairwether friend and stfu.

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    7. Apparently you don't know anything about Music .. You should Google some of these Artists I happen to know a couple of them and think they're pretty Awesome !!

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    8. If you don't know Paul Thorn, definitely your loss. Heck of an artist.

      Delete
  3. I think we can all figure out who is irrelevant in this scenario.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Rockinrobin77 you've made my tongue bleed because I'm biting it so hard right now.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Dilly dilly! And they have dill pickle vape now??? Gotta love this stuff! :)

    ReplyDelete
  6. If Shooter is the only one you've heard of you need to get out more.

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  7. Anyone who doesn’t know these great artists is living a sad little life.

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  8. Ward Davis is a saint!

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  9. @robbairdmusic Well, the thong comment is accurate...

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  10. $10 says she only heard of shooter because she saw 4th of July on cmt once when she was eating fruit loops before school one morning. She may be the devil we think that she is!

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  11. Hey guys, we can only thank the good Lawd above that not everyone is as cool as us!! Get some culture people!! Ain’t heard of Holy Williams!! Brent Cobb?? What about his badass cousin Dave!?!? Fugetaboutit!!!!!

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  12. Being mean to Manson I like him.

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  13. He does not bully anyone he's (what should I say ward?) ward Davis is an angel sent from heaven !

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  14. This list is spot on I've seen Paul Thorn 3 Times and he always tells the story about how Roberto Duran Whooped his Ass, then he proceeds to play hammer and nail in a loop for 45 min. And Courtney makes Jason do all the washing in the house,and when they are seen in public he has to ack like the hired help. Oh and she once told American Aquarium that they sucked because the only good aquariums come from China. Amanda once broke into a rambunctious version of Kumbaya in the middle of Jason's Never Gonna Change. Y'all forgot Sturgill, he purposely sings with a retainer in his mouth so no one can understand him and he don't have liner notes in his cassettes.

    ReplyDelete

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