Showing posts with label Jelly Roll. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jelly Roll. Show all posts

Mar 7, 2024

American Pie Country Reaction Gifs

(from the franchise, not just the original)


I wish I didn’t know now what I didn’t know then

Future bro country fans

When you’re about to leave the party but they put on some Waylon and bring out the brownies

“Is it ok to admit I like that new Hardy song a little?”

Baby lock the door and turn the lights down low 

When she says you’re going on a double date to the Sam Hunt concert 

Still better than going to a Kane Brown concert 

When you watch Jelly Roll argue with people on Twitter about his dumb name

Pissin’ in the wind and it’s blowing on all our friends 

Conway Twitty whenever a songwriter pitched him a new song 

When your dad was a roadie for Pure Prairie League

Describe Jason Aldean in three words


Feb 9, 2024

Jelly Roll to Step in for Injured CM Punk at Wrestlemania

Pop-country supernova Jelly Roll has a lot of irons in the fire these days, but his latest may be the hottest one to handle. Mr. Roll, a longtime wrestling fan who has appeared on WWE television a couple of times before, has been announced as a participant in a match at the upcoming Wrestlemania event in Philadelphia.

The singer/songwriter/rapper/celebrity known for his genre-blending styles and “no sir I don’t know where you can find some copper” tattoos sees his career on the upswing lately. He has appeared on a multitude of awards shows and other related programs, has racked up hit after hit, and even delivered big time at a passionate appearance before the Senate(!!).


But this is a different animal altogether. At the WWE Wrestlemania kickoff in Las Vegas yesterday, Roll, real name Jason DeFord, was announced for an as-yet unannounced match at the event. CM Punk, a top tier performer at WWE, recently tore his triceps at a previous event, and the company felt it needed to bring in some more star power to shore up the card of the two-night extravaganza.


While Jelly Roll won’t necessarily be facing CM Punk’s presumed opponent in Seth Rollins, he is training for any possibility. At WWE’s Orlando Performance Center, DeFord spent many days in the last few months learning back bumps, rope running, and “selling.” One anonymous trainer told us things were going okay, but he was at least better than Snooki and Colin Jost in the ring.


“Woo, it’s been a grind!” said DeFord. “This has been harder than the chore of making people take me seriously due to my name being a pastry.” The large framed singer says trainers Shawn Michaels and Steve Corino have pushed him towards a “big man offense.” 


“I won’t be doing any moonsaults or 450 splashes, naw I’mma be doing the Dusty Rhodes or Rikishi-style fight, bring the pain.” laughed Jelly. “But no way in hell will I be wearing Rikishi’s outfit in Philly.”


At press time, Jelly Roll had just tweaked his back trying to power-bomb Scotty Too Hotty.


Jan 31, 2024

Elderly Country Songs: Zach Bryan, Jelly Roll, Faith Hill, etc.

Zach Bryan & Kacey Musgraves

I Remember Nothing


Pat Green

Wheel Me Out of the Dancehall

Grave on Grave


Gretchen Wilson

Redneck Granny

Here for the Bingo

Sciatically Incorrect


Faith Hill

(I Can’t Feel You) Breathe

Let’s Go to Shoney’s


Big & Rich

Save a Horse (Ride a Hoveround)

Lost in This Costco

Comin’ to Your Sitz Bath


Jelly Roll

Save Me (no change)

Son of a Son of a Sinner

Coffin Waitin’ in a Cadillac






Dec 13, 2023

What Your Favorite Album of 2023 Says About You #2


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Lucero - Should’ve Learned by Now

You have a Lucero sticker on your Honda Pilot. You look like someone who should be avoided in a dark alley, but you’re actually a tattooed sweetheart of a person. You can’t relate to people who think sad songs kill the mood. You’ve got your eye on a small RV to buy and follow Lucero around, once the kids move out.

 



Brent Cobb - Southern Star

You’re a good ol’ boy or girl, I don’t care what anybody says. You’d rather chug-a-lug a mug of beer than sip a crystal glass of wine. You’d rather discuss the latest goings on of World Wrestling Entertainment, but can easily have a conversation about Eudora Welty or foreign relations. You have a couple crooked fingers as evidence of your bar fighting days, but you’ve chilled out. 




Morgan Wade - Psychopath

You don’t like mainstream country; Spotify played Morgan after a Paramore song and you were smitten. You are prone to stalking exes on social media when you get a few drinks in you, but not in a creepy way - you just wanna talk shit. You drive like a bat out of hell, and that turns your significant other on for some reason.




Tyler Childers - Rustin’ in the Rain

You reflexively like Tyler even more now that many conservatives say he “went woke.” This is a good album, but that first sentence may have clouded your judgement a bit. You own a Subaru. You tried morel hunting for the first time and ended up having to get rescued by the game warden, so your friends now call you the Kane Brown of Americana fans.




Morgan Wallen - One Thing at a Time

Your favorite burger is the McDonald’s Quarter Pounder. Your favorite book is 50 Shades of Grey. Your boyfriend’s ex has a restraining order against him. You’re not really into politics at all, but vote however your friends do. You spent $1820.34 on tea this year and $0 on vehicle maintenance. 




Ryan Bingham - Watch Out for the Wolf


You got into Ryan because of Yellowstone. This is the first Ryan Bingham album or EP you’ve ever heard. 




Jelly Roll - Whitsitt Chapel

You don’t know what hick-hop is. Fuel was your favorite band in the 90s. You think Jelly Roll’s redemption story is wonderful, but you don’t really want to know what crimes he did because then you might have to stop liking him. You could never get into Yellowstone because the music was so boring. Your stepkids call you by your first name, with an attitude. 




Kelsea Ballerini - Rolling Up the Welcome Mat

TMZ is your favorite news source. You tell people this is your favorite album of the year because you stan, but in your heart of hearts, you wish she’d go back to the pop sound of a few years ago. You live for every TMI detail of Kelsea’s love life and are glad she moved on from that last dude, because he isn’t as big a star as her. 



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