Showing posts with label Keith Urban. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Keith Urban. Show all posts

Jan 26, 2024

Keith Urban Announces Stultifying New Single

Fake News Classic, Originally posted on Country California, Thursday, October 08, 2009 


Though he just sent the obligatory third single (which obligatorily features a performance video) from Defying Gravity to radio this past week, Fake News has received exclusive information about the first single from Keith Urban's forthcoming moderately anticipated seventh album. The mid-tempo pop-country anthem entitled "This Is a Pretty Good Song," cowritten by Urban and a songwriter whose name you'd recognize, showcases Keith's excellent, but getting less interesting, guitar skills and his renewed sense of purpose in the fading genre while simultaneously sounding like every song he's released before. 


"I'm actually somewhat excited about the song," Urban's manager read from an index card during our short interview with him. "It is a soundly crafted, proficiently played tune that fits squarely into the standard expectations of the people who will listen to it again and again." He continued: "We feel that it will sell somewhere in the range of 178,000 digital copies, raise average awareness of Keith's new CD above the 'fairly interested' level, and most importantly, not cause radio listeners to change the station." Tucking the index card back into his pocket, he concluded: "We are nearly thrilled." 


The song is gathering quite a semblance of a buzz in the industry. In fact, some country disc jockeys who received early preview discs of the potboiler track jumped the gun, pretending to be breathless with staged anticipation as they played the yet-to-be-released surefire chart-topper. Some even reported listeners phoning in to request "that new song I think was by Keith Urban, maybe, that sounded pretty okay." 


Urban's as-yet-untitled seventh album is due for release in March of 2010. A summer tour featuring opening act Pretty Up-and-Coming Female Performer Who Can Sing Harmony will follow. 



Feb 14, 2023

Elderly Country Songs: Luke Bryan, Blake Shelton, Lainey Wilson, Whiskey Myers, Keith Urban


Luke Bryan
Octogenarian Shake It For Me
Say It Again
Gruntin’, Bitchin’, and Lovin’ Every Day
Crash My Walker
All My Friends Passed Away


Keith Urban
You Look Good in My Sweater Vest
John Lennon, John Deere, John 3:16

Lainey Wilson
Heart Like a Yugo
Smell Like Icy-Hot
Watermelon Smoothie

Blake Shelton
No Booty

Whiskey Myers

Facility We Call Home

Vaseline

Early Buffet and a Shuffleboard Crowd

For the Grandkids


Feb 10, 2023

Country Radio Celebrates Black History Month by Playing Songs With “Black” in Title

The two major country radio station conglomerates, Cumulus and iHeart, are coming together this month for a common cause. iHeart Assistant VP of Marketing Karen Humes made the announcement yesterday via Instagram that the rivals had launched a Black History Month program to bring awareness to the plights and successes of African Americans.

“In solidarity with all who celebrate and support Black History Month, both Cumulus and iHeart have banded together for a special celebration of “black” this month.” she began. “As such, we plan to add to our playlists, shows, and specials many songs in which the word “black” is in the title.”


Ms. Humes went on to list several of the songs that would find their way across the airwaves this month. They included:

“Long Black Train” Josh Turner

“Two Black Cadillacs” Carrie Underwood

“(The Black Dress Song) Getting You Home” Chris Young

“Black Tears” Florida-Georgia Line

“Blue on Black” 5 Finger Death Punch ft. Brantley Gilbert

“Blacktop Gone” Jason Aldean

“Black” Dierks Bentley

“Where the Blacktop Ends” Keith Urban

“Black Jacket” Tim McGraw


Many of the comments below the post expressed concern that possibly the radio giants may be missing the point of Black History Month. “Couldn’t you just… you know… play some black artists?” asked Barry Summers. “Some of those were never even singles… it’s like you’re going as far out of your way as possible not to play Charley Crockett or Mickey Guyton,” replied Laverne Shirley. “How will a Jason Aldean song make anyone on earth think of Black people? This is sooo stupid.” said Terry Hogan.


While none of those complaints were addressed, Humes did add an additional comment. “No, we will not be playing Clint Black or Blackhawk songs because that’s old people music. Josh Turner is already pushing it.”


At press time, the media giants had also removed Johnny Cash’s “Man in Black” because of its age and also some complaints from listeners that the song was “lib’rul grooming.”



Nov 10, 2022

Idiocracy Country Reaction Gifs

Toby Keith when he hears there's been an international incident

Going on a game show with Luke Bryan fans

A pop singer agreeing to be a "country" singer on a major label

Listening to two people in the waiting room talking about their "favorite country band, Dan + Shay"

"Are you the one who posted a meme saying I'm stupid for liking Kane Brown?"

The world if Florida-Georgia Line hadn't broken up

What it feels like to hear a Walker Hayes song in public

What do you think of Keith Urban's music after 2010?

When somebody requests "Wagon Wheel"

When I'm definitely about to be a dick about somebody's bad taste in country music

What's your favorite Conway Twitty song about?

Mar 30, 2022

Top 10 Headlines Taste of Country Hasn’t Posted Yet

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10. Scott McCreery enjoys a round of Scrabble with his wife


9. Brantley Gilbert reveals which gun tattoo his kids will get first


8. Remember when Shania Twain busted her ass at the CMT Awards?


7. Thomas Rhett saves a turtle stuck in the road


6. Adorable! Gabby Barrett shows off her Easter outfit


5. Remember when Walker Hayes hit #1 with “Fancy Like?”


4. Luke Bryan accidentally pranks Luke Bryan on American Idol


3. Remember when we were a reputable source for country music news? Neither do we.


2. Keith Urban seen staring lovingly up at wife Nicole Kidman


1. Sam Hunt reveals his favorite attributes in a mistress


Mar 17, 2022

Top 10 Traits for Getting a Country Record Deal 2022


10. A built in audience of TikTok fans you duped into thinking you were talented


9. A gym membership


8. Generic, character-free male country voice


7. Willingness to be an opening act forever (females)


6. Willingness to be a headliner with your own bus right out of the gate (males)


5. Ability to politely say nothing with many words, when asked about a serious topic in an interview


4. Strong knowledge of hair care techniques, including advanced shampoo and condition, heat protection, volumizer, mousse, and shine serum


3. Have large or new family and only talk about them ever and nothing else


2. Musical inspirations must include at least 3 of the following: 21 Pilots, John Mayer, Lil Wayne, Drake, Ariana Grande, Sugar Ray, Kanye, Keith Urban, Imagine Dragons, Taylor Swift (pop era).


1. Be boring as dry dog shit


Feb 3, 2022

The Godfather Country Reaction Gifs

The ranger with the big iron on his hip says 

When your friend had to take his girl to a Dan + Shay concert

When they're playing Walker Hayes at the party and you leave before anyone notices you

Every time you fail at securing Turnpike tickets then they announce more shows

How much would you pay to see Keith Urban?

Hometown honeymoon, wildflowers and lovers in bloom

Morgan Wallen fans taking up for a millionaire

One look at the country chart and I'm like...

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