Showing posts with label Terri Clark. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Terri Clark. Show all posts

Aug 2, 2019

The Top 10 Biggest Jerks in 90s Country


A Collaboration/Guest Submission by Jackson Burnett & Trailer
Some would imagine that the country music industry during the mainstream’s last agreeable era, the 1990s, wasn’t as likely to contain divas and D-bags as it does today. However, that isn’t the case. Here are the 10 biggest offenders…

10. Joe Diffie
Plans to reissue his entire catalog on 4-track cartridges.
Personal Facebook page appears hacked, but it’s actually him posting all those links to bootleg Ray-Bans.

9. Suzy Bogguss
Covers “Courtesy of the Red, White and Blue” at the start of every show after 2006.
Drinks right from the 40 oz bottle of Olde English 800 and puts it back in the fridge.

8. Wade Hayes
Slashed Joe Diffie’s bus tires on a recent 90s country tour.
Sprinkles when he tinkles and isn’t neat enough to wipe the seat.

7. Patty Loveless
Final single was a dubstep remix of “Cleopatra, Queen of Denial.”
Hated touring Canada because “Canucks suck.”

6. Pam Tillis
Once said nice things about Locash… no, wait, that really happened.
Hides her master tapes under a dirty laundry pile that’s been sitting in her guest bathroom since 2005.

5. Ty Herndon
Leaves the sink running everywhere he goes.
Refuses to replace his official Angelfire website.
Sings exclusively in an “Ernie from Sesame Street” voice in concert.

4. Marty Raybon (Shenandoah, Raybon Brothers)
Spread a rumor that Diamond Rio were the country Milli Vanilli.
Just pours his tobacco spit cup out right by the door of the tour bus.
Stops in roundabouts.

3. Terri Clark
Once put Pam Tillis in a triangle choke submission for sneezing in her presence.
When on tour, has a tradition of taking selfies of her peeing on national landmarks.
Calls her dogs “puppers” and doggos.”

2. Trisha Yearwood
Once told an audience to “go f*** yourselves” for not singing along to her cover of “Bump & Grind."
Responds to fan mail by sending nude Garth pics.
Against legalization, but always on that kush.

1. Jim Lauderdale
Abuses Domino’s carryout insurance policy.
Ghost-wrote 88% of all bro-country songs.
Constantly on Tik Tok during meals with his bandmates. 
Wants to tour with Old Dominion.



---
*satire, obviously*

Jul 11, 2018

Country Singer Bars & Restaurants

It seems like every country A-lister has a new restaurant & bar open or on its way to Lower Broadway in Nashville. Inspired by a recent tweet from someone I follow, here are some (thus far) non-existent musician-owned bars and restaurants. 

After the Fries Are Gone
(Loretta Lynn)

Sam Hunt's Cake Pops in a Small Town

Chad Brock's Armbar & Grille

Justin Moore's Short Order Cafe

Let's Go Fajitas
(Faith HIll)

Angus Among Us Steakhouse
(Alabama)

The Heart Wants Pie
(Reba)

Chris Janson's Food Truck Yeah!

It Ain't All Flour
(Sturgill Simpson)

Skeevy's Place Sexy Ladies' Bar
(Old Dominion)

Bok Choy Take Me Away
(Dixie Chicks)

Cole Swindell's White Bread, Crackers, and Bud Light

The Plate of These Wings
(Miranda Lambert)

Brantley Gilbert's Suburban Biker Bar

Now That I Fondue
(Terri Clark)

Bucky Covington's Roadkill Truck

A Good Year for the Rosé
(George Jones)

Colt Ford's Gullet Shove Buffet



LinkWithin

Related Posts with Thumbnails