Showing posts with label Trisha Yearwood. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Trisha Yearwood. Show all posts

Oct 12, 2023

Garth Brooks Country Reaction Gifs

When your team gets smoked by South Alabama but you're trying to be positive

Are you serious when you say you'd prefer a minor injury over attending a Kane Brown concert?

When there are so many bodies, you can't remember where they all are

McDonalds is bringing back the McRib!

And you can get 10 free McNuggets with your first app order!

May the Lord strike me down if I ruined country music

When you're country, but they throw on some Bruno Mars

When a second person in 2 weeks says Oliver Anthony's song is better than anything Isbell ever wrote

When the fiddle player hasn't taken a shower in a week

Country music is just farm emo

When Garth takes his song "Mr. Blue" a little too seriously

How can you make Trisha Yearwood laugh for an hour with only 9 words?

May 2, 2023

Overly Politically Correct Country Songs: Sawyer Brown, Martina McBride, Cody Jinks, etc.



Cody Jinks - Gestational Parent Song

Same Kind of Mental Illness as Me


Johnny Paycheck - The Only Ruckus My Birthing Parent Ever Raised


Don Gibson - Womxn (Desirable Womxn)


Dwight Yoakam - Guitars, EV Cadillacs


Bill Anderson - Disenfranchised Folx


Trisha Yearwood - Low Income Enclave of Memphis


Paul Overstreet - Seein’ My Second Biological Parent In Me


Sammy Kershaw - CIS Female Royalty of My Large Manufactured Home


Martina McBride - This One’s for All Persons Identifying as Young Females

In My Birthling’s Eyes


Sawyer Brown - The Young Cisgender Males and Me


Hellroys - Those Breasts Aren’t Mentally Challenged


Hank Williams Sr. - (Catcalling an Attractive CIS Female)


John Anderson - Corporate Farm Fowl Pollution Causing Vehicle

African American Sheep


Apr 22, 2022

Hundreds Believe Tim McGraw Nearly Killed a Guy Because This Headline Says So

On Friday morning, word began to spread of country superstar Tim McGraw beating a man nearly to death in Nashville. Though completely false, many Facebook users only read the first 8 words of the headline of this obviously fake news piece and spread it around like wildfire. They also noticed the poorly Photoshopped picture of Tim McGraw’s mug shot accompanying this article which lended credence to their belief that this entirely bullshit story must be so.

Most of the few readers who actually clicked on this story without excitedly sharing it first, only read the first sentence, which also fools unworldly folks into thinking that the following actually happened: 

Country superstar Tim McGraw has been arrested for a shocking assault after putting a real good man in the hospital on Wednesday night. McGraw told police he was just sticking up for his wife when the man, Vernon Brinks, said Faith Hill’s acting was a little dry in Yellowstone: 1883. After striking Brinks over and over, the victim suffered a broken wrist, a concussion, internal bleeding, and several external bruises. Brinks is said to have neither liked it, loved it, nor wanted any more of it and is expected to be released from the hospital this weekend. In a statement after making bail, McGraw apologized for the incident and blamed “the cowboy in me.”


Despite the previous paragraph being written in a less than journalistic quality, several persons who have continued reading started thinking that maybe this stupid and transparently satirical bit might have some veracity. 5 of them go back and share the story on Facebook with an “OMG!” Most didn’t even notice that there were 4 Tim McGraw song titles hidden in that paragraph, further giving clue that this stunning bit of news never occurred. 


In previous weeks, this very website (which features the word ‘farce’ in its title) has been barraged by thick-headed people replying as if satirical stories were the gospel. One of those people is reading this sentence now and I’m going to tell him that Garth Brooks cheated on Trisha with Kenny Chesney and he’ll believe it, because his brain has been warped and clouded by social media, politics, and the degradation of real media over the past 10-15 years. 


At press time, 1 of the 9 people who made it this far into the article also believed that Thomas Rhett is a meth-addicted serial killer because this sentence purports it to be true.


Sep 6, 2019

Garth Brooks Near Destitution

by Trailer - Originally posted on Country California, March 26, 2013 

Garth Brooks is nearly broke. 

The somber, emaciated (for him) 51-year-old across the table from our correspondent stood in stark contrast to the color-block shirted, barrel-chested wild man of Nashville memory as he confessed that "girls are expensive." 

Despite 200 million in album sales, years of sold out concert tours and an estimated $350 million in career earnings, the country legend is surviving on Spam and saltine crackers these days as he plots his comeback. "I know, I know... I've seen all those VH1 specials about guys like MC Hammer and thought, how the hell did they go through all that money?" admitted Brooks, pulling at a loose thread on his 2008 Old Navy America t-shirt. 

Brooks put his career on hiatus in 2001 to see his daughters through high school and into college. The costs of his divorce that year and the upbringing of three girls was a far greater financial strain than any of his fans might have imagined. "Well, Sandy got half and the girls got the other half," chuckled Garth, sipping Big K Cola from a can. "I didn't know Bratz cost so damn much." 

"I've also burned through most of Trisha's money with some bad investments," he continued, with a tear the size of a quarter building in his left eye. "The pager store franchise went under in '02... damn cell phones. And my personal brand of offensively bright shirts for big and tall men never got off the ground due to a sweat-shop scandal." 

His three-year Vegas run only put a band-aid on the problem as bills and tuition costs slowly ate away at Brooks' remaining fortune. "I've lost 60 pounds, man; all my old 'Mo' Bettas look like circus tents on me now. I'm going in for a third mortgage on the mansion." 

A potential comeback is in the cards, though the 26-year Nashville vet is not currently aligned with a record label. "Borchetta is interested in a comeback album, but he's not sure I'll fit the Big Machine mold. Hell, I guess I'd do auto-tune and sing about trucks... I need some money, pardner!" said Brooks. 

The "Friends in Low Places" superstar bid us adieu for his afternoon Starbucks shift with these off-topic words: "Everybody blames me for pop-country, but I'm Hank Sr. compared to folks these days..." 

At press time, Scott Borchetta had passed on Garth Brooks for a 19-year-old community college dropout with a five o'clock shadow and an intriguing chin scar. 


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