Fun With Charts & Graphs

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Rascal Flatts' Influences: The Real Story

You may have seen the iTunes fallacy about Rascal Flatts' musical influences over at at the bottom of Quotable Country at Country California (if not, check it out first). We all know that to be a joke. Here's the truth...

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New Release Honest Album Cover

Mellencamp Parody

This is a parody I wrote a while back of John Mellencamp's minor country hit and ever-annoying Chevy pitch song "Our Country." It is also entitled "Our Country."

Our Country (Ode to Clearchannel)

We can stand beside

Playlists that we write

Cause we play classic tunes

Each Friday at midnight

And you should believe

We know what's right for everyone

This is our country

From the FM

to the AM

We own every station in town

This is our country

There's room enough here

For just thirty songs

And there's room enough here

To play them all day long

New artists understand

A little payola doesn't hurt

This is our country

From the left side

to the right side

We're nearly every stop on the dial

This is our country

Competition would be

Just another ugly thing

And variety should be

Seen only as obscene

Cause the ones that love our brand

Are just the dumb and common man

This is our country

From the FM

to the AM

We own every station in town

This is our country

The young songwriter's dream

Ain't never gonna come true

Cause it's up to us and we

To make sure there's not enough room

To hell with the voice of freedom

We own all of this land

This is our country

Watch your step son

Watch your mouth girl

Or like those "Chicks" you'll be gone

This is our country

John Rich's Songwriting Tips #4

A question from email: Jason D. in North Carolina asks "What's the best way to deal with rejection when pitching songs?" Well, Jason that's a pretty good question I guess. Rejection is well... naw you didn't, man, you've got a big ol' swinging ballsack assuming I've ever been rejected. Every damn song I've ever written or co-written has not only been cut, but gone to number one on all the benchmark charts. Why in the f*** did you ask me that? What's your cell number? You son of a b*tch. Do you know who I am? I've never been rejected as far as you know. I can't believe this. Ike or Bas will be in contact. -JR


Not actually written by John Rich.

Odds & Ends

Fun With Charts & Graphs

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Name the song this is about, win a prize.*




















*my admiration

3 Extremely Random Photocrapped Covers

And see the John Rich "Fun With Charts and Graphs" just below!

Fun With Charts & Graphs: John Rich

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.99 Review - Rascal Flatts

Rascal Flatts - Things That Matter

The People's Take

"That's what!" (5 stars) – It speaks for itself. They're Rascal Flatts. Enough said.
by llbnchs

"You guys are getting worse" (1 star) – Your music used to be alright now its bad.
by Rich G 62

"Love it" (5 stars) – I believe this is a song Gary wrote and I just love it. The guys just keep the hits coming. It makes you realize what life is really all about and that these guys are still norma guys and love their families but their fans as well. Definitely worth the 99 cents. I would pay more if it costed more.
by Caitlyn8390


My Take

The fourth preview single released on iTunes from Rascal Flatts' upcoming "Relentless" is is a tedious tune that lacks the harmony-driven emotional bang or sugary confection of the few RF songs I'd count as guilty pleasures. I'd go as far as to say it's hookless... and hooks are usually the boys' strong suit, along with fashion and whining. "Things That Matter" consists of a couple of mini-stories about how little things get in the way of what is truly important in life. That's a fine sentiment, but the track tries way too hard to be timeless and moving while being utterly forgettable, due to the shallow emotional development in the sketch-like stories, and only moving enough to transport my Cliff Bar from lunch the wrong direction in my digestive tract. In the bridge, Gary says regret won't be all up in his business at the end of his well-primped days and he won't be asking "Why didn't I?" I felt quite the opposite about the last 4:41 of my life. The song in summary: Somebody doesn't stop and smell the roses enough because they're buried under a pile of crap in the inbox.... somebody else lets past wrongs get in the way of what could have been a rewarding relationship... somebody dies (didn't see that coming did you?).... somebody learns a lesson from the aforementioned. There ya go.

One more thing: An extended musical tag???? Isn't that like Willie Aybar coming back out of the dugout to tip his hat and bow proudly to the Tropicana Field crowd after driving in one run on a sacrifice fly in a game where the Rays were down by 4?

Total value: .21/.99





















The Checklist

Church/God
Mama
Boots
Name Dropping
Dying Person
County Fair
Lost Love
Love
Hometown Pride
Kindly Advice
Truck
Whiskey
Beer
Life Affirmation
USA
Soldiers
Pop Sheen
Star Power

Fun With Charts & Graphs

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Review of Keith Urban's "Defying Gravity"

Phun With Charts & Graphs: Phish

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Favorite Albums of '09 - First Quarter Report

Click on underlined artist names for their Myspace pages to listen! (Ben doesn't have a solo Myspace, but you can listen to samples on the Amazon link)

Feel free to comment on any of these, or to suggest some other great albums of early 2009!

1. Ben Nichols - The Last Pale Light in the West
A collection of gritty narratives based on Cormac McCarthy's gore-soaked epic, "Blood Meridian," it's as passionate and powerful as anything I've heard this year (and much of last), despite the narrow focus. I'm a huge fan of Ben's full-time gig, Lucero, and looking forward to their major label debut later this year, but it'll have to really be something to top this.
Prime track: "Toadvine"

2. Justin Townes Earle - Midnight at the Movies
This is the one where son overtakes father. Justin's warm, reedy vocals and classic country sound with a modern feel make this quite an engaging album.
Prime track: "Mama's Eyes"

3. The Gourds - Haymaker!
Ridiculously fun as always, but the song-craft never suffers for the sake of party and vice versa. Not quite up to the high bar set by their previous release, Noble Creatures, but still a very strong effort.
Prime track: "Shreveport"

4. Phosphorescent - To Willie
A loving ode to a legend. Nelson's songs retold through a filter of reverent indie folk sound great and remind you that Willie's not just an entertainer and troubadour, but a songwriter of the highest order. Phosphorescent's not bad either, putting their own stamp on the songs, not just performing rote covers.
Prime track: "The Last Thing I Needed (First Thing This Morning)"

5. Great Lake Swimmers - Lost Channels
An indie-folk band with some of the most beautiful vocals you'll ever hear, Great Lake Swimmers take a step in a new direction on this outing, upping the tempo a bit and eschewing the stripped down approach for an array of new instruments, to nice effect. "Pulling on a Line" is my favorite song of the year thus far.

6. Mastodon - Crack the Skye
Metal! Smart, masterfully technical and fairly innovative, but still headbangingly hard, Mastodon's beast of a record should appeal to fans of anybody from Iron Maiden and Metallica to Coheed and Cambria. Great music for working out, or washing the dishes.
Prime track: "Oblivion"

7. The Deep Dark Woods - Winter Hours
Prime track: "All the Money I Had is Gone"

8. Scott Miller - For Crying Out Loud
Prime track: "Sin in Indiana"

9. Eric Church - Carolina
Prime track: "Where She Told Me to Go"

10. Strand of Oaks - Leave Ruin
Prime track: "End in Flames"

Fun With Charts & Graphs

JR's Songwriting Tip of the Week #3

You need to think about who you're writing for - the singer or group that will perform it. Like when I wrote "Mississippi Girl" for Faith Hill, which was like, her massive #1 comeback song... anyway, I knew my subject... she's a lil country girl from Star, Mississippi, where they only wear ballcaps and frequently ride their kids around on their backs because there's nothing else to do. And Faith's career had fallen off so bad, man, she was probably on her way to working at a nail salon or something until I brought her back onto the map. -JR


Not actually written by John Rich. Please don't assault me, John.

Badass-o-meter 2

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Kenny Chesney Parody

Living in Bass Ackwards
(Parody of Kenny Chesney's "Living in Fast Forward")

The body's a church house, well most of them are
But I've treated this 'un like a trashy strip bar
Gap-toothed blonde dancers and loud Motley Crue
My mama would beat me but she ain't got a clue

I been livin' in bass ackwards
Bud drinkin' sadsack out of control
I'm living in bass ackwards
Now I need to get off parole

My bar tab is up, my hair's matted down
Under trailer arrest on the outskirts of town
I worked at the Quik-Mart, until they caught me
Scratchin' off lotto, stealin' skin magazines

I been livin' in bass ackwards
Bud drinkin' sadsack out of control
I'm living in bass ackwards
Now I need to get off parole

I'm always runnin'
Police are comin'
I've been on Cops, yeah it's true
And the way that I'm headed
Might end up dead if
It's left up to my I.Q.
Uh huh ...

(Repeat Chorus 2x)
Yeah I need to get off parole
Oh, I still got two trials to go

Odds & Ends

Fun With Charts & Graphs Doubleshot

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