Billy Currington Parody

Please note that this is a satire as well as a parody.

For Rick...

That's How Obamavoters Roll #tcot

(Parody of Billy Currington's "That's How Country Boys Roll")

They wake up in the morning and they drink their soy latte

Flip on CNN faster than a Mazeratti

On the way to work they might stop by Trader Joe's

That’s how Obamavoters roll

Yeah, they beg, beg, beg, all week till the grant gets done

Weekends they burn down churches while munching scones

They run on a bleeding heart and worship Al Gore

That’s how Obamavoters roll

Chorous

Yeah, they’re cursing God's will

Spreadin' vile filth

From their downtown loft abodes

Singin' Streisand

Might wed a man just because you think it's gross

From Baldwyn to Glover to Ellen and her lover

Total deviance is their goal

That’s how Obamavoters roll

Verse 2

Well they've got to spread the wealth aroud

They'll levy a tax

And if you're broke and you ask

They'll give you the shirt off my back

All they need is a bill to pass

A few dollars to blow

That's how Obamavoters roll

Chorous

They like to kill babies

Ban cuttin' trees

And turn us into Mexico

Singin' Streisand

Might wed a man just because you think it's gross

Politically correct, hating Limbaugh and Beck

Socialism is their goal

That’s how Obamavoters roll

Pelosi!

Yeah they’re whinin' out loud

Leftist and proud

They love Karl Marx but not "Going Rogue"

That's how Obamavoters roll

Don’t you know

Hip-Hop Limericks 1

All respect due to Country Haiku, but this is a tooootally different idea. ;) Ladies and gents, I give you... hip hop limericks.

There once was a white boy just rollin'

In his 5.0, head was swollen

Girls, plat'num and gold

Frozen water's so cold

Made ten mill. off a riff that was stolen

A Closer Look: Stagecoach

Hmmm... a closer look reveals the respect our legends get.

Here's the poster:

And here's a closer look:

*This is a satirical take on the Stagecoach poster and not a representation of the actual poster.

_____Deserves a Sackpunch #7

Anyone who plans to maintain musical status quo in 2010

Are you a formerly popular pop singer, rock band, or lead singer of a formerly popular rock band who has suddenly discovered that you were country all along?

Are you a hip-hop artist who plans to rap about your gratuitous amount of shiny trinkets, the gaudy, wide rims on your method of transportation, your preference for promiscuous women with large, round, mostly exposed derrieres and shooting those who disrupt your work towards acquiring all the aforementioned?

Are you a country singer with a dual lead guitar attack in your band, a vocal twang only in proper company, more than one stylist and a Twitter account maintained by your PR people?

Are you a rock band whose 2010 goals are to open for Nickelback, gain 1/10 of the followers of Nickelback, wear MMA-related apparel, get tattoos on your tattoos and screw lots of skanks, all the while sounding generally like Nickelback?

Are you a pop singer who expects to have her hoo-hah splashed across tabloid websites and skeevy perv sites at least once in 2010, lip sync to factory-written electro-dance songs, and have a minimum of one trip to rehab?

Are you a country songwriter with dollar sign eyes, a "Country Song Mad Libs" writing formula, no foundation in whiskey and tear-soaked real country, and Chuck Wicks on speed dial?

Are you a radio programmer who won't expose his listeners to any song outside the top 30 unless it's a new or previous release by a superstar?

Are you a record exec who prefers sizzle to steak, safe to honest, transient to timeless, album covers to albums?

Are you a blogger/blog reader who will do a great deal of complaining about the sad state of your favorite genre/music in general without offering some alternatives and suggestions towards its betterment in '10?

Are you a "music fan" who claims to be open-minded but has no interest in hearing what's beyond the mainstream this year?

My resolution? 365 days of Mike Tyson's sackpunch-out for every one of you.

FWC&G: AJ