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Country Day August featuring parody album covers from Craig Morgan, Randy Rogers Band, Trace Adkins, Kevin Fowler and more... and lots of cursing!

A Closer Look: Rascal Flatts

Rascal Flatts recently announced that they have signed with Scott Borchetta's Big Machine label. Here's a lovely shot of the guys with Mr. Borchetta.

And here's a closer look....

Uh oh, run guys!

New Taylor Swift Single Cover

Fun With Charts & Graphs: Willie & Julio

YouTube Gems: JJ Grey & Mofro

If you're a fan of swamp rock or deep soul, or artists like Tom Petty, Tony Joe White, Otis Redding or The Black Crowes, you should check out JJ Grey and Mofro. These guys have a new album, Georgia Warhorse, due in a couple weeks, and here's a song that will be on that release, "The Sweetest Thing."

Songs Illustrated #26

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Bubba Downer 5

Snap Judgments: Promo Only Country Radio August

I'm a little late on this month's release, but better late... (click the links for a video or song sample)

The JaneDear Girls - Wildflower

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the female Rascal Flatts. Oh wait, that was SheDaisy. Well, the JaneDears are in that neighborhood anyway. Wildflower is kinda catchy, overly bouncy, too pop, way too generic. The song sounds like it was written by a professional pop songwriter who's never actually spent more than a week in the country. (cue the commenter who actually knows the writer, who's lived in Bucksnort, AR all his life and has more country in his pinkie finger than I have in my whole body)

D

Billy Currington - Pretty Good at Drinking Beer

Depending on your perspective, this is either a lovable loser anthem built for the dog days of summer... or it's a repetitive tune about a lazy jackass. I'm somewhere in the middle, leaning towards the former.

B-

Leean Rimes - Swingin'

A lot of critics and bloggers are loving this bouncier cover of John Anderson's 80's classic. Not this one. It's not bad, it just doesn't relate to me on any sort of emotional level.

C

Lady Antebellum - Our Kind of Love

Lady A has played it way too safe since their breakthrough hit and this continues the trend. Good enough, but they're capable of so much more.

C

Bo Bice - Take Yourself With You

Bo's warm, Travis Tritt-like voice is well suited for country, but it seems Bo is using the same songwriters Tritt's been using for the past 10 years. This is like putting (Nascar champ) Jimmie Johnson in a hatchback for the next Nextel race.

D+

Stealing Angels - He Better Be Dead

Holy crap. Don't date this girl! Don't flirt with this girl! And especially don't have a one night stand with this girl! The spite dripping from this song makes Jaron's "Pray For You" sound like a lullabye. I'm gonna go out on a limb and say this is kind of an answer song to that one, in attitude anyway. And women wonder why men have commitment issues. Besides that, this is at best a C-rate country song. But it grades out at:

D

Kevin Fowler - Pound Sign

Catchy, semi-clever novelty song that will wear out its welcome in coming weeks.

C+

Miranda Lambert - The House that Built Me (Acoustic)

Perfection delivered a little more simply. If the original doesn't win a Grammy, a CMA, a CMT, an AMC, a People's Choice, an Oscar (okay, not that one)... something's wrong.

A

Darren Kozelsky - Somebody Find Me a Preacher

My opinion of this song is surely tainted by hearing Trace Adkins' earlier rendition of it. Darrin's version comes off quite a bit more lifeless. It's still a good song, but the performance is underwhelming.

C-

Blackberry Smoke - Good One Comin' On

Normally a song about partying that includes a line "keep this party rocking till the break of dawn" would get an instant D or less grade from me, but "Good One Comin' On" is catchy and there's a strong "it" factor radiating from this track. It should get a fair look from radio programmers. Bonus points for the Ray Wylie Hubbard mention.

B

Julianne Hough - Is That So Wrong

Julianne turns toward more "adult" material with this tune and her new album. What I think she meant is "adult contemporary." Bore.ing. Video's nice though! (Put that rolling pin away, Mrs. Trailer)

C

Frankie Ballard - Tell Me You Get Lonely

Simple, catchy and well sung. Possible hit, but the field is crowded. (side note: I didn't know there were still people who went by "Frankie" and weren't gangsters; is Frankie's girlfriend named Florence?)

B-

Toby Keith - Trailerhood

I was expecting the worst after hearing Josh Turner's crappy song with the same title a couple years back, figuring for TK's take on the same. I was happily surprised to be proven wrong. While this is still mostly a listing song telling the virtues and vices of living in a mobile home park, there's a friendly joy in this song that makes it more of an engaging experience than an amusing museum piece.

B+

Regular Guy Reviews: Horatio Lee Jenkins

Regular Guy Review

Horatio Lee Jenkins - Drunker Than Satan

(I've had the title track for a while, but just recently received the entire EP for review, so here we go....)

If you enjoy the unique musical stylings of country satirist Gary Floater, you'll love Horatio Lee Jenkins. HLJ is one honky-tonkin', outlaw son of a bitch and on top of that, he's a legend for outdrinking Satan himself.

A la "The Devil Went Down to Georgia," "Drunker Than Satan" finds Mr. Jenkins challenging the dark lord to a competition based on shared talents, which in this case is downing alcoholic beverages rather than ripping on the fiddle. Horatio Lee rises to the occasion, leaving ol' Scratch puking, claiming as his prize for winning, of course, more beer!

Throughout the rest of this wonderfully absurd EP, Jenkins and others remind you of his conquest of Hell's head man, working it into nearly every other tune. He parlays his drinking fame into the bedding of multiple women, but laments that all can't be present one night In "Girl, This Bed is Too Big Without All 12 of You." He's a proponent of homosexuality (if only so he, the straightest man in America the world, can have his pick of more women) in "It's Okay to Be Gay."

After Horatio's 4 tracks of insanity, things get REALLY weird. A psychadelic band called Big Drugs performs a ridiculously cheesy hippie-tastic love and intoxicants fest. I'm guessing Horatio approves of the message or is, in fact, a founding member of Big Drugs.

Next, Scream Engine and the Carnage Caboose gives us the scream-metal send up, "I Kick Ass Because I Hate Not Kicking Ass." Intentionally or not, this tune has Hank III dead in its satirical sights.

Finally, Horatio's pianist, Carl Dangers, delivers a peculiar, loving ode to his hero, Horatio Lee Jenkins, who in case you missed it earlier, once outdrank Satan.

Throughout the album, we're treated to a veritable cornucopia of instrumental delights, (Gary Floater would like that cliche) from a kazoo solo to power ballad worthy electric guitar licks. This thing's strange, folks.

As much fun as this was to listen to sober, I can only imagine that it's even more so under the influence of some of Lee's beloved attitude adjusters.

Album available for purchase here.

YouTube Gems: Drew Kennedy

Here's Drew Kennedy's sparkly new video for "Room 27" from An Audio Guide to Cross Country Travel.

Relative Size Chart #21

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Montgomery Gentry's New Album Cover!

Another hits package?? Hmmmm....

Country Doppelgangers 6

A younger Rodney Crowell and Pippin from the Lord of the Rings trilogy.

Shelby Lynne and Marcia Marcia Marcia! (Maureen McCormick of The Brady Bunch)

"Way Out Here" singer Josh Thompson and "The Jesus" (R-rated link) from The Big Lebowski.

Eddie Montgomery and The Undertaker of WWE fame.

Spittin' image....

YouTube Gems: Merle Impersonates Marty Robbins

Very cool old video:

Rascal Flatts' New Album Cover!

So was there some news about these guys today? I hadn't heard...

I was going to hold off on parodying this spanking new cover until August's Country Day, but Why Wait? Thanks to Jennifer and Benjamin on Facebook for a couple of these titles and also thanks to CM Wilcox of Country California.

John Rich's Songwriting Tips #42

Okay, you've got a great song written, rewritten, recorded and professionally demoed. What now? Hell if I know. Maybe give it to a superstar singer you know. Oh yeah, you don't know any. Uh, record it yourself for your record label. You don't have a record label? Hmmm. Throw it up in the air and if it comes back down, it was never meant to be anyway. Man, I'm at a loss as to how the little man gets a song recorded.... uh, hmmm.

Just don't hand them to me if you see me around town. I've got lawsuits pending over songs I borrowed... supposedly stole. I really can't help you here. Bottom Line: Be famous and your songs will get recorded. That's how I roll, c*cksucker.

*Not actually written by John Rich.

Songs Illustrated #25

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Top 10 Names Rejected Before Settling on "Jaron and the Long Road to Love"

10. Jaron and the Short Trip to Country

09. Peter Brady and the Long Road to Love

08. Jaron Aldean

07. Jaron and His Weekday Tour

06. Mr. Lowenstein's Wonder Emporium

05. One Twin FTW!

04. Jaron and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

03. Fella' Antebellum

02. Jaron and the Thong Burns

01. Suck It Evan!

Band Mashup: RK+KO=

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Liver, Liver (a parody lyric)

Liver, Liver
(Parody of Jerrod Niemann's "Lover, Lover")

80 proof
Well it burns to taste
But I'll be flat on my back
Before the break of day
I'm gettin' lit
Like I planned it
Us winners never say quit
They should buy me a plaque
Barkeep, before you get your ass whupped I got to say
You cut me off at eleven
But that was yesterday
Now it's two past midnight an'
Since my sober's returnin' you got to do what's right

Whoa, liver liver liver
I don't treat you no good no more
Oh liver liver liver
I don't treat you no good no more

Hell the truth,
Yeah it hurts today
I woke up flat on my back
And someone wrote on my face
Wet with beer
Or that might be tears
Can't believe they let me sleep here
This drinkin' thing, I've got the knack
Lord I'm supposed to be at work, and it's half past eight
Wait, who the hell's this woman
With her meaty arm around me
Droolin' on my shoulder, it's wet and cold
I shouldn't do it no more
But one drink leads to floor

Whoa, liver liver liver
I don't treat you no good no more
No no more more more
Oh liver liver liver
I don't treat you no good no more

yea, hellllll yea

Well I'm punishing you almost every night
Cirrhosis on the way cause I don't treat you right
Can't go to no AA, cause hugging at meetings sucks
I'm not an alcoholic just a drunk connoisseur

Liver oh liver
yeah yeah
no, no, more more more

Until whiskey digs me down into the grave, there'll be no givin it up
Drunken is my favorite state
Friends can't stand me no longer
Why they gotta hate?
I only feel bad for my organs yeah I gotta say
liver, oh liver, yeah, yeah
lliver liver liver
I don't treat you no good no more
liver liver liver
I don't treat you no good no more
liver liver liver
I don't treat you no good no more
liver liver liver
I don't treat you no good no more