Jan 17, 2012

New Rascal Flatts Single Cover Revealed


John Rich's Songwriting Tips #56


A little rhyming advice for you peeps this morning. In country music, rhyme is relative. Never worry with coming up with an actual strong line to follow another good line, just make sure they rhyme no matter how you have to mangle the English language. Hell, make up your own accent and pronounce the word like a drunk redneck with a lisp who's been hanging around his friends from Boston too much. Whatever works, boss. For example, if your important line is "she was drinking a beer with those cut-offs on," you can make sure it rhymes with this line: "her tan legs reflectin' on my jacked up Ford," if you sing "on" like "awwwn" and then pronounce "Ford" like an old plantation owner… like so: "fawwd." See, it's just that easy. Nobody will even notice. Nobody gives a damn, quite frankly. Near-rhyme, schmear-rhyme… you can rhyme anything if you're plastered enough when you write the song. One time I heard Alan Jackson rhyme "cell phone" with "carburetor." And it worked! If he doesn't give a shit, why should I? This ain't no Romper Room or nursery rhyme time, be a damn grown-up and use a little ingenuity. Show me a man who's ever once used a rhyming dictionary while he was writing a song, and I'll show you a man who's bussing tables at the IHOP to finance his crappy demo CD. Truth. Live it, love it or just bite me.




*not actually written by John Rich.

Jan 16, 2012

Cliché Country Love Song (satire)


Cliché Country Love Song

I met a farmer's daughter wearing cut off jeans
Tan lines, southern drawl, long and lean
Took her to a movie then the Dairy Freeze
She moved in closer on my old bench seat
She said her daddy didn't like my kind of guy
I asked "What the hell you mean?" with an evil eye
She said I was an outlaw and my thinkin's slow
So I kicked her ass out on the side of the road

This ain't no cliche country love song
If you're thinkin' cards and flowers, you're thinkin' wrong
Love is good, but it rarely goes
Like it does on Clearchannel radio
Hell no, this ain't no cliche country love song

I married a woman who was my best friend
Didn't have much money, but forever to spend
We saved what we had for a house on the hill
A porch swing to kiss in, a garden to till
Till one day the doctor gave us the bad news
I told her, "Baby I'm gonna love you through"
She said "Boy, you're the one's gonna need the love,
"Cause I'm gettin' gone if you can't get it up"

This ain't no cliche country love song
If you're thinkin' I'm love's martyr, you're thinkin' wrong
Love is good, but it rarely goes
Like it does on Clearchannel radio
Hell no, this ain't no cliche country love song

This ain't no cliche country love song
If you're thinkin' cards and flowers, you're thinkin' wrong
Love is good, but it rarely goes
Like it does on Clearchannel radio
Hell no, this ain't no cliche country love song

Awkward Gary Levox Photo of the Week








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