Snap Judgments: Promo Only Country Radio February 2011

Just when you think it can't get any worse…..

(Click on the titles to listen)

Snap Judgments - Promo Only Country Radio February 2011

Brad Paisley - This is Country Music

If this song had come out 10 years ago, I might give it a B+. As it stands, this is more of a restating of current country music's (over)recurring themes, than it is a valiant defense of the genre. Thou doth protest too much.

C-

Steel Magnolia - Last Night Again

This sounds like the sequel to Lady A's "Need You Now." They sound good together and this is kinda, sorta something new thematically… I guess.

C+

Aaron Russell - It Don't Get No Better Than This

Sounds like a 90's C-lister. Does this hook even have any gravity these days? For you born after 1980, the title was the tag line for some beer back in the day. Busch I think. This isn't good. Like Busch.

D-

Guy Penrod - Pray About Everything

I already know what the chorus is going to say before it gets here. I was right. Oh wait, this is a Luke Bryan song too… and he did a much better job with it. This should scrape the top 60 before dropping off the chart. Good message, just a flat performance.

D

Alabama - Are You Sure Hank Done it This Way

My prejudices were proved wrong here. This is a decent cover of the Waylon classic. A little pointless since it's no kind of retooling or different direction, but it's more solid than I expected. Randy sounds a little tired, but other than that, few complaints.

C+

Kid Rock - Born Free

This is no snap judgment since I've heard this song many times already. I thought it was a pretty dull take on Bob Seger at first, but it's grown on me. Kid Rock does okay with this classic rock sound. The line "if you can't see my heart, you must be blind" irks me, despite my comprehension of metaphor. If a metaphor makes you focus on its literal meaning, it's not effective. However, I hate this song way less than I should.

B-

Crossin Dixon - Goodbye to Henry

Another 90's redux song, but this kicks Aaron Russell's ass. These guys play around here all the time, so they can't be very good though. This is the best Montgomery Gentry song in years…but they had no part in it. Not bad, not bad. Most honest angle on the death of a friend to hit country radio (though it probably won't) in a while.

B-

Miranda Lambert - Heart Like Mine

This girl's got balls. A lot of reviews have stated that this was a safe single release. I don't agree. Mentioning how Jesus drank wine is not "safe" in my neck of the woods. That could get you excommunicated from the Baptist church, friends and Larry Lee agrees. I don't just love this song, but it's strong… Miranda should spread the wealth a little. She gets all the "chick songs" with any weight.

B+

Rascal Flatts - I Won't Let Go

Even thought I've already read CM's positive review, I won't let him influence my snark. If I haven't said it before, I don't hate every Rascal Flatts song... really. This one has a nice easy groove… it's way vague though. The melodies are pretty nice and "The Voice" doesn't over-emote here. Still, it's nowhere close to guilty pleasure territory. I might not have a conniption reaching to change the dial when this comes on, but I'll never seek it out.

C

Ashton Shepherd - Look it Up

As much as I love twang and "real" country, I'm gonna confess that Ashton's drawl may be a little much for even me. Not a bad song, but the repeating of "look it up" bugs the shit out of me in this song. It's like George Strait's "Write This Down." It doesn't really fit in every instance, lyrically… and that's more annoying than clever. I root for this girl out of principle, but I don't like this song.

C-

Steve Holy - Love Don't Run

Holy gets a hit every 3 years, rain or shine. I don't know that this is the one. Maybe it could catch the right ears and ride a wave of approval like Billy Currington's latest has, but Steve doesn't have quite the pipes that Billy does so he needs a more impressive song to pull his gravy train. Kinda boring.

C+

Ricky Skaggs - Someday Soon

Hmm, not sure why this is on here. It's more commercial sounding than anything I've heard from Ricky since the early 90's, but that still doesn't mean anything to radio programmers. I like this, though. It's a galloping mid-tempo anthem that inspires without preaching. If it had a little more spark to it, I could see a more pop leaning artist taking this into the top 10 - Rascal Flatts maybe.

B+

The Band Perry - You Lie

This "band" has proven itself far better than its debut single "Hip to My Heart," with its folksy bent and shining melodies. This song isn't all that… but it's still better than most of what's on the dial. I hope they take more chances next time out (next album, single, whatever). Plenty of promise in their sound though.

B-

Randy Montana - 1,000 Faces

Pop-country-rock. Yawn. 1,000 Faces is another "microcosm of what's wrong with country radio" song. It's vague, hell the hook barely makes sense, but that won't matter… it's sung by a handsome guy with a mainstream voice over a rocking mid-tempo country track. Not even remotely interesting.

D+

Rachel Timberlake - Honky Tonk Queen

American Idol review time - This is a karaoke performance. Nothing about this says "ready for country radio." This is the big leagues… you can't send a .250 batter from single A to play first for the Red Sox. Not good.

F

Trace Adkins - Brown Chicken Brown Cow

Sucks. This .99 review says it all.

F+

David Ball - Hot Water Pipe

David won't be returning to the upper reaches of Bob Kingsley's countdown with this quaint number. And as much of an apologist as I am for traditional sounding country… I wish the traditional country artists would at least give me some stronger ammo. This isn't exciting in the least. Apparently there's some sexual innuendo here, but it's a stretch. A dull ending to an extremely uninteresting edition of the Promo Only Country series. Let's hope for some better March releases!

C-

Snap Judgments: Promo Only Country Radio December 2010

The weather's getting cold and gray and so are the singles. Not a lot of up-tempos to be found. Normally that'd be fine with me - a welcome break from the happy happy joy joy - but too much of the same gets old. If this is a look into the music of the next month or two, load up on Red Bulls till spring. No Four Lokos though, please!

*click the links for listens of each song*

Josh Turner - I Wouldn't Be a Man

I've heard this before, but it's been a while so at least it's a "fresh ears" judgment. This is a nice cover of the 1989 Don Williams hit. I still prefer the original, but this is very strong.

A-

Loretta Lynn, Miranda Lambert and Sheryl Crow - Coal Miner's Daughter

The inclusion of Crow here is baffling to me and she adds little, but this isn't a bad take on the classic. Miranda is a perfect fit and Lynn is in superb voice.

A-

The Judds - I Will Stand By You

Meh. Bunch of boring inspirational platitudes. I've been more emotionally moved reading Hallmarks in the Target greeting card aisle. Don't call it a comeback; this is flat-out terrible.

F

Elvis - Suspicious Minds (2010 Viva Elvis Version)

Why mess with perfection? The original was much better; in fact, I prefer Dwight Yoakam's excellent cover to this. Pianos and crashing guitars do nothing for my 2nd favorite Elvis tune. Pointless.

C

The Harters - If I Run

This is a pleasant enough swelling pop country ballad in the vein of Lady Antebellum and Gloriana, but it's nothing new or remotely memorable.

C-

Kenny Chesney - Somewhere With You

People complaining about all of Chesney's "reminiscing" songs and beach anthems, take heed. This isn't one of those. It's also a different sound for Kenneth... AAA. Decent, but after it hits #3 or so on the charts and drops, nobody will request it again.

C+

Little Big Town - Kiss Goodbye

Speaking of Gloriana, this also sounds like them. I had to check the display to make sure it wasn't. Eh, I expect better from LBT, though the chorus is pretty moving.

B-

Lee Brice - Beautiful Every Time

This sounds like a country take on "Dock of the Bay," but more boring. Lee should branch out a little; this is too much in the same pocket as his previous hit... whatever that was called. Dull dull dull zzzz...

C

Gary Allan - Kiss Me When I'm Down

This is well written and decently sung. Less than I hope for from Allan though. He really needs to step it up before he becomes a B-List afterthought. Admittedly, all these low key songs are negatively coloring my perception of the individual tracks on this comp, but...

B-

Jamey Johnson - Playing the Part

One of the less exceptional cuts from The Guitar Song is still better than most everything else on this collection. It's probably too late for this song to make a dent in the charts, but it would be a breath of fresh air amongst the Flatts and Swifts.

B

Billy Currington - Let Me Down Easy

Billy's got such a good, good voice. This is a simple (low key) break-up song that brings nothing new or exciting to the table, but it's got some indefinable "it" factor going for it. And that voice...

B

The Randy Rogers Band - Steal You Away

I reviewed this song here.

B

Brett Eldredge - Raymond

I've heard a lot about this song, but this is my first time to hear it. Alzheimer's has been dealt with in country music before, but not this effectively. Brett's voice is fresh and emotive, a strong baritone. "Raymond" pulls all the right heartstrings, but you never feel like it's taking advantage of your sympathies. This is one of the strongest debut singles since Currington's "Walk a Little Straighter."

A

Joey + Rory - That's Important to Me

Simple and effective, but maybe too simple to find a large audience. I want good things for this talented duo/couple, but they're going to have to release harder hitting singles to make it in this market.

B-

Mark Cooke - Can't Cheat in a Small Town

Mark's voice isn't unique, but it's solid enough. The song is 90s sounding, well-written, but again... low key... and I'm drooling on my desk at this point. Must all winter releases be yawners?

C

Uncle Kracker w/Kid Rock - Good to Be Me

Here's an anomaly. A more upbeat, summery track in the midst of all these gray skies. Sure it's Uncle Kracker, but this is every bit as "country" as nearly every other song here. And I like it... it's a guilty pleasure. Bouncy, singable and possibly released at the perfect time to be alternative programming to all these other party poopers. Bite me; it ain't bad.

B+

Christian Kane - The House Rules

Apparently this guy is on some TV show I've never seen before. Whatever. He reminds me of Blake Shelton a little. This song is way more upbeat than most of the previous tunes. Wait... "you know they're gonna show 'em if they got 'em"?? This is pretty risque for the format. Oh no, a crowd sing-along at the end. That's a full letter grade off. Mmmm, not sure if I like this a ton, but it could be a hit.

C

Sarah Darling - With or Without You

A U2 cover... pretty cool. Glad it wasn't a cover of "Lemon." She's got a sweet voice. She better wail at the end with the "oh oh oh's" though. As low key winter releases go, this isn't bad at all. Don't care for the backing vocals much. A male contrast would have sounded better there. Ugh, no "oh oh oh's"! Letter grade off. Pretty good, but the song had no high point to really set it off.

B-

Jamey Johnson - The Guitar Song: A Warning List

Jamey Johnson's massive 25-song double-album The Guitar Song comes out today/Tuesday and there are some important things you should know about it before you hit that "download" button or slide the CD across the Walmart self checkout.

1. Adult Language!

By adult language, I don't mean there's cursing (though there is some). I mean this is country for grown-@ss men and women. There's no diary page stream of consciousness. No cutesy turns of phrase just for the sake of cleverness. No Hallmark card lyric love songs. What you will hear in these words is unadulterated pain, unfiltered loneliness, pure heartache and true love along with a genuine reverence for real country music.

2. Some Assembly Required

Most of these songs don't spoon feed the listener. They don't follow the expected delivery format of Nashville country songs. Everything isn't spelled out for you. For instance, "Poor Man's Blues" never says any felony was committed, you just know. The Guitar Song's lyrics are reminiscent of the best rock and most outlaw country in that they aren't entirely linear. You gotta put some stuff together for yourself. There are a lot more shades of gray than black &/or white (despite the thematically split albums "Black" and "White").

3. Exposed Influences

Some artists might shy away from covering so many well-known country classics, but Johnson says to hell with it and gives us a Kristofferson cover, a Mel Tillis/Waylon cover, a Vern Gosdin cover and a song the late Keith Whitley wrote, the wonderful opener, "Lonely at the Top." There's an appearance from Whispering Bill Anderson on the title track. You'll also hear a lot of Willie, Bocephus, Merle and more throughout this sprawling epic.

4. Radio-Unfriendly/Non-PC Themes

The Guitar Song covers cheating, drinking, drugging, killing, growing marijuana (in the breathtaking "Can't Cash My Checks"), debt, spanking children, co-dependency, lust, depression, divorce and more. If your normal listening habits include several hours a day of Clearchannel radio, this album may come as a shock to your system.

5. "Imperfections" Abound

Johnson's voice has been the subject of many a negative review of his work. Personally, I love his semi-nasal Waylon meets Merle voice, but I guess I understand how someone could not... no, actually I don't, but still. The recording of the songs, like on That Lonesome Song, make you feel like you're in the studio. There are pops, clicks, voices, hisses and buzzes in the background between and sometimes during songs. All this adds to the warm, organic feel of the album, but if you prefer sterile perfection, avoid this album.

6. Commitment Required

Obviously, with 25 songs on the record, this thing takes some time to digest. If you're not ready to invest several hours a week, you need not apply. It takes time to let the growers grow. It takes repeated listens to hear every nuance. And heck, some of the songs are 6 and 7 minutes long. If 3 minutes is all you wanna give a country song, skip The Guitar Song.

-----------

Well, I think that about covers it. I hope you'll heed these cautionary guides so that you can either enjoy this album responsibly or bypass it altogether. Take care.

(Mini review: The Guitar Song is a near-masterpiece, containing only a couple of weak(er) songs, that barely diminish the overall presentation. Jamey Johnson is on another level from the rest of Nashville. Standout tracks include "How I Don't Love You," "Can't Cash My Checks" and "I Remember You." Absolutely fantastic album. I'll give it 4.75 beards out of 5)

Snap Judgments: Promo Only Country Radio September

A summary of this month's comp: the big stars generally disappointed with lackluster releases. There are a few gems from big names and a couple from the never-heard-of-ems. The rest is mostly middling. Click the links for a full listen or sample of the song.

Snap Judgments - Promo Only Country Radio September

Josh Gracin - Cover Girl

2010's version of Sammy Kershaw's "She Don't Know She's Beautiful," except minus the charm. Cliché by every measure. Soft rock with guitars. Josh: "shake what your mama gave you" "sundress" etc. Me: "puke"

F

James Wesley - Real

Timely, if only because reality shows are still inexplicably popular, "Real" contrasts television's version of reality to the average American's reality. Besides leaning a little too hard on the gimmick (mentioning shows by name), this is a catchy (if sounding like it came from the 90's), memorable song with some definite hit potential.

B-

Kenny Chesney - Boys of Fall

Scru u h8ers. Ur jus jelious. Seriously though, I like this song a lot, at risk of my snarky blogger and alt-country lover credibility.

B+

Craig Campbell - Family Man

Another tune reminiscent of 90's country, "Family Man" is either cloying or heartfelt, probably depending upon your experience with the subject matter of the song... and your level of cynicism I suppose. Surprisingly, this jackass jerk of a blogger likes it. Feels honest.

B

Mark Chesnutt - Lovin' Her Was Easier

Mark's Waylon (Bare) cover is warm, but fairly unremarkable. That said, an adequate Waylon cover by Mark Chesnutt is better than the best Taylor Swift tune.

B

Miranda Lambert - Only Prettier

Hard to give a snap judgment of a song I've been listening to for months. Miranda's latest single is snappy, witty and full of attitude. This should solidify her spot on Nashville's A-List without sacrificing any "real country" cred.

B+

Burns & Poe - How Long is Long Enough

This may mark the end of the Burns & Poe experiment. This is the musical equivalent of a sigh. Or a yawn.

D

Jessie James - Boys in the Summer

Kinda late, eh? This reminds me of Laura Bell Bundy's "Giddy On Up" from a few months back. Very catchy, danceable, not that country, and entirely girl-centric. As a pop song, I'd probably give this a B-. As a country release, it's a:

D+

Blake Wise - Cornfields

Wise has a good voice, but this is a pretty unremarkable song, especially for an introductory (?) single. It's basically "Small Town USA" relocated to Iowa... with a much droopier tune.

C-

Train - Hey, Soul Sister (Country version)

Hell no. Make it go away! I hated the pop version, so adding little steel or banjo is like putting a cowboy hat on a cow turd. You know, Train's debut CD was actually really good. Since then, it hasn't been all downhill, it's been all valley.

D-

Joe Nichols - The Shape I'm In

Another song I've heard before now and I was hoping he'd put out as a single. I <3>

A-

Williams Riley - Sweet September

It's rare, but sometimes a song can mix overdone lyrics and an "I've heard that somewhere before" melody with a little "it" factor and come out with something much better than the sum of its parts. This song is proof. I should hate this but...

B-

Johnny Bulford - Don't Make Me Love You

A fairly catchy country tune, but JB's voice just isn't built for radio stardom if this is his best effort.

D+

George Strait - The Breath You Take

I don't dislike this quite as much as most reviewers have, but it's far from up to par for King George. For me it boils down to: the melody of the verses sounds like a funeral dirge while the chorus is bumper-sticker inspiration nuggets with swelling lovey-doveyness. Somehow, the chorus I don't mind so much - the verses are awful. As a whole, it's a very difficult listen.

C-

Brantley Gilbert - My Kind of Crazy

Brantley doesn't have the most powerful set of pipes, but it's a likable rasp. My Kind of Crazy is not the most memorable of songs on the first couple listens but I could see it growing on me.

C

Chris Young - Voices

I liked it well enough the first time it was released as a single and still do. I think Chris needs to vary the subject matter of his future singles to show the less serious side of his persona, but this is good enough to get him another top 10.

B-

Darius Rucker - Come Back Song

Darius is going the opposite direction I'd hoped he would take. Resting on your laurels, Hootie? This tune is an earworm, but it's not something Darius should be proud to have his powerful instrument of a voice ever grace.

C-

Reba - Turn on the Radio

Child please. Reba Reba Reba... c'mon girl... you're better than this. This song will definitely cause me to do the opposite of your bidding. Wow, the superstars on this comp have really turned in some crap-nuggets.

D+

John Rich - Country Done Come to Town

Paging Big Kenneth. The other half of your duo needs your help ASAP. John's dishwater thin voice does nothing to elevate this cliché-ridden tune, which could stand a good shot of attitude to make it anywhere near hit-worthy.

D

Todd O'Neill - Somethin' With Some Attitude

In stark contrast to John Rich's trite number, Todd kicks this fairly "been there, heard that" song in the ass with his crackin' vocals. While I don't love the song, I'm looking forward to hearing more from this guy. Cool voice.

B-

Snap Judgments: Promo Only Country Radio August

I'm a little late on this month's release, but better late... (click the links for a video or song sample)

The JaneDear Girls - Wildflower

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the female Rascal Flatts. Oh wait, that was SheDaisy. Well, the JaneDears are in that neighborhood anyway. Wildflower is kinda catchy, overly bouncy, too pop, way too generic. The song sounds like it was written by a professional pop songwriter who's never actually spent more than a week in the country. (cue the commenter who actually knows the writer, who's lived in Bucksnort, AR all his life and has more country in his pinkie finger than I have in my whole body)

D

Billy Currington - Pretty Good at Drinking Beer

Depending on your perspective, this is either a lovable loser anthem built for the dog days of summer... or it's a repetitive tune about a lazy jackass. I'm somewhere in the middle, leaning towards the former.

B-

Leean Rimes - Swingin'

A lot of critics and bloggers are loving this bouncier cover of John Anderson's 80's classic. Not this one. It's not bad, it just doesn't relate to me on any sort of emotional level.

C

Lady Antebellum - Our Kind of Love

Lady A has played it way too safe since their breakthrough hit and this continues the trend. Good enough, but they're capable of so much more.

C

Bo Bice - Take Yourself With You

Bo's warm, Travis Tritt-like voice is well suited for country, but it seems Bo is using the same songwriters Tritt's been using for the past 10 years. This is like putting (Nascar champ) Jimmie Johnson in a hatchback for the next Nextel race.

D+

Stealing Angels - He Better Be Dead

Holy crap. Don't date this girl! Don't flirt with this girl! And especially don't have a one night stand with this girl! The spite dripping from this song makes Jaron's "Pray For You" sound like a lullabye. I'm gonna go out on a limb and say this is kind of an answer song to that one, in attitude anyway. And women wonder why men have commitment issues. Besides that, this is at best a C-rate country song. But it grades out at:

D

Kevin Fowler - Pound Sign

Catchy, semi-clever novelty song that will wear out its welcome in coming weeks.

C+

Miranda Lambert - The House that Built Me (Acoustic)

Perfection delivered a little more simply. If the original doesn't win a Grammy, a CMA, a CMT, an AMC, a People's Choice, an Oscar (okay, not that one)... something's wrong.

A

Darren Kozelsky - Somebody Find Me a Preacher

My opinion of this song is surely tainted by hearing Trace Adkins' earlier rendition of it. Darrin's version comes off quite a bit more lifeless. It's still a good song, but the performance is underwhelming.

C-

Blackberry Smoke - Good One Comin' On

Normally a song about partying that includes a line "keep this party rocking till the break of dawn" would get an instant D or less grade from me, but "Good One Comin' On" is catchy and there's a strong "it" factor radiating from this track. It should get a fair look from radio programmers. Bonus points for the Ray Wylie Hubbard mention.

B

Julianne Hough - Is That So Wrong

Julianne turns toward more "adult" material with this tune and her new album. What I think she meant is "adult contemporary." Bore.ing. Video's nice though! (Put that rolling pin away, Mrs. Trailer)

C

Frankie Ballard - Tell Me You Get Lonely

Simple, catchy and well sung. Possible hit, but the field is crowded. (side note: I didn't know there were still people who went by "Frankie" and weren't gangsters; is Frankie's girlfriend named Florence?)

B-

Toby Keith - Trailerhood

I was expecting the worst after hearing Josh Turner's crappy song with the same title a couple years back, figuring for TK's take on the same. I was happily surprised to be proven wrong. While this is still mostly a listing song telling the virtues and vices of living in a mobile home park, there's a friendly joy in this song that makes it more of an engaging experience than an amusing museum piece.

B+

Snap Judgments: Promo Only Country Radio July

Welcome to the dog days. Many of these songs are lazy to fit the lazy, hell-hot middle summer months. Not lazy in a pleasant, relaxed way... just lazy. Where's my hammock?

Click the links to hear the songs.

Undo It - Carrie Underwood

The lyrics in the chorus are kindergarten-esque, but the hook hooks me for some reason (yeah, I know... you either luh uh uh uh uv it or hate it). Sure, she's had some better written songs out in the past year, but this is the only one that's stuck with me. I like it.

B-

How I Got to Be This Way - Justin Moore

How he got to be that way? I'm guessing....dad is probably 5'7", mom is 5'1"... just a guess. As for the song, it's pretty standard "I'm rough around the edges" fare. It seems like a pretty weak choice for a single IMO. Album filler does not a #1 make.

C-

I'm In - Keith Urban

I'm glad Keith keeps cutting Radney Foster songs, but even if Radney was singing this, I'd be mildly entertained then yawn.

C

While You're Still Young - Montgomery Gentry

I like the message of the song - it's not glorifying being young - just the feeling of youth. The first two verses don't bring much new to the table, but the chorus is unexpectedly memorable melodically, if not lyrically. Verse 3 brings it home in an RV to happy effect. Better than I expected.

B+

All About Tonight - Blake Shelton

A mindless party song with a melody that doesn't really go anywhere. I like some mindless party songs. I like some songs with melodies that aren't that memorable. I don't like when these two aspects intersect. I like Blake and anybody who has covered The Black Crowes' "She Talks to Angels" in concert and Chris Knight's "It Ain't Easy Being Me" on an album has a lot of money in the bank with me, but this song is a bounced check.

D+

This Ain't No Love Song - Trace Adkins

Cool. I dig this a lot. If we can't get neo-traditional and alternative country played on country radio, songs with this amount of laid back edginess and freshness will work.

B+

If I Die Young - The Band Perry

WTF? A pretty, mildly authentic sounding country song from The Band Perry, whose last single wouldn't have sounded out of place on a 90's dance floor? The token fiddle doesn't even sound that token. The Band Perry is almost forgiven for "Hip to My Heart" and their name. Almost.

B

Makes Me Go (La La) - Williams Riley

Nonsense words can be used to great effect at times. Not this time. It sounds pretty, but I won't be listening to this song again for fear the la la's might get stuck in my head. What's the deal with all the up-and-coming bands who sound like Restless Heart (the live version on the link doesn't, but the single cut does)?

C

Keep the Change - Darryl Worley

Despite the fact that I see both sides politically, I can't review this song objectively, even on a snap judgment. Basically, it's fairly catchy, I appreciate the combativeness of the hook, and this is waaaaaay smarter than his last foray into politics. I don't like it that much, but I can't bring myself to loathe it.

C+

Just Fine - Bomshel

Not bad. Just fine, in fact. Just go ahead and play 'em, country radio. They're obviously not going to stop sending you singles, and this one's better than, say, the last 3 Rascal Flatts songs, so make some room on your 20 song playlist.

C

Summer Thing - Troy Olsen

Which Apple exec does this guy have pictures of in a compromising position? His EP with this song on it has been featured on iTunes for weeks in one of those rotating marquis at the top of the country page... and I've never even heard of him. I'm flat out sick of summer songs, so even if this is the greatest, most original awe-inspiring ode to the warmer months (it isn't), I don't want to hear it again.

D+

That's Love Y'all - Bridgette Tatum

Her voice has too much soul for this to get played on Fearchannel. Pretty good song, gospel flavored, easy going and engaging. This is a summer song... and it doesn't even mention summer. Take note, songwriters.

B

Beautiful Girl - Lathan Moore

Hmm. A country song that doesn't beat you over the head with word play. A simple title/hook that's surrounded by a decent enough idea sung by a nearly memorable voice. It doesn't have a chance in hell.

B-

Satisfied - Jewel

I like Jewel. She has a cool voice, seems like a nice lady and is easy on the eyes. Some of her early releases feature some great songs. So far, I'm not enamored with her jaunt into country music. This song is meandering and forgettable.

C-

An aside: It's a real beatdown on the ears and mind to listen to these comps all at one time. This is probably what it feels like to be a stay home mom or dad who only speaks to small children all week - the adult thought processes and conversational abilities melt away.

The Snow White Rows of Arlington - Sammy Kershaw

B+

Not that Far Away - Jennette McCurdy

Jenn's second (third?) attempt at country airplay isn't bad. She has a pretty nice voice, better than another famous teen who will go nameless, but has the initials T.S. Sorry Sam, this song is boring. You could probably go somewhere with a better tune.

D

Boggy Creek - Boggy Creek

No. If the singer sounds like a poor man's Luke Bryan, the song is plain destitute. My snark tank is dry at this point.

FFFFF (sorry, key got stuck)

Don't Cuss the Fiddle - Keller & the Keels

Neat. A little bluegrass interlude. Like this a lot.

B+

Redneck Riviera - Jim Van Fleet

Back to the mindless. This is an example of a shallow song I kinda enjoy, however. It's catchier than All About Tonight and on about the same level intellectually. Nothing wrong with a fun party song and boy does the redneck riviera need some fun right about now.

C+

Doggonest Feelin' - Jeremy Parsons

Sounds like something you'd hear on Boot Liquor radio. Easy going old-timey country blues. I'm glad people are still making this kind of music, even if you'll never hear it played between Zac Brown Band and Eric Church - unless you're listening over my shoulder when I have my iTunes on shuffle (stop it, that's creeping me out!).

B

Nobody Knows - Coldwater Canyon Band

Inexplicable D-List artist submission of the month. There's some level of enjoyment to be had in the harmonies here, but little else. To be fair though, I'd much rather hear this than, say "Crazy Town," or similar crap from A-Listers.

C-

If you've made it this far, I salute you and pray for you. See you next month!

Snap Judgments: Promo Only Country Radio June

Holy crap. I expect your deep and abiding gratitude for suffering through this edition of future country single releases so you don't have to (unless you bravely follow some of the YouTube links). It's the worst bunch of slop I've had to subject my ears to thus far. I was literally slack-jawed with dismay half way through the set of songs. For example, Chuck Wicks' new song was far from the worst tune on the comp. I'm gonna stay far away from country radio in June and I'd advise you to do the same!

Here's the rundown:

Zona Jones - Prove Me Right
Zona tackles the rare and difficult "listing song" with his treatise about what he believes and how his woman's love is going to show him to be correct. Boring, cliché and boring are the three words I'd use to describe this song. D

Chuck Wicks - Hold That Thought
Chucky's comeback song finds him stepping into the "getting it on" song territory of Josh Turner and Billy Currington with less satisfactory results. While it sounds perfect for a slow white-person dance on a hardwood floor, Chuck's voice doesn't have the come-hither appeal of the aforementioned singers to pull off this bedroom burner effectively. And the line "why don't you lay back and fantasize about me" comes off twice as pervy as any lecherous line Jeff Bates ever sang. C-

Savannah Jack - I Know
Restless Heart redux? This definitely sounds like a throwback to 70's/80's pop country vocal bands and while that's somewhat refreshing amidst all the samey sounding popstuff that is current country, it's not that great of a tune. Nothing new lyrically, but this band may be worth watching down the line. C+

Ryan Bingham - The Weary Kind
Alt-country singer Ryan Bingham's Oscar winning marquis song from the Oscar winning movie Crazy Heart, The Weary Kind is a simple and heartbreaking glance at a broken soul. While I'd love to see this find a home on country radio, I also wish blowing on dandelions could grant your fondest desire. A

Rodney Atkins - Farmer's Daughter
See this review. D

Gwen Sebastian - V.I.P. (Barefoot Girl)
Gwen's "Mississippi Girl" without the specific locale reference. Catchy and pretty fresh sounding, I hope this song gains some, uh, footing. B-

Zac Brown Band - Free
ZBB annoyingly stretches out their smash-hit major label debut for yet another single. That said, it's a great song, perfect for this time of year. The live version (on their live album Pass the Jar and their previous iTunes exclusive) that incorporates Van Morrison's "Into the Mystic" is even better. Now get back in the studio! B+

Jason Mitchell - Slow & Steady
Kill me kill me kill me. Sorry about that. Back to the review. Jason sounds like the best singer from your high school show choir singing a Conway Twitty song at karaoke night. Except, the muzak version of Conway Twitty. D

Locash Cowboys - Here Comes Summer
No. D-

David Bradley - Soak It Up
This is probably what the result would be if Bruce Hornsby was tasked to write a country summer song. This guy makes Chuck Wicks sound gangsta. When did the whole pop invasion of country music become an adult contemporary invasion? F

Easton Corbin - Roll With It
An easy rolling Strait-esque mid-tempo track. Nothing new, but he sounds damn good rehashing previous kick-back classics. B-

Nathan Lee Jackson - Inside
More easy listening. If his voice wasn't different, I'd swear this was cross-country trekker Jimmy Wayne. I wonder if Nathan makes sure his purse and shoes always match. F

Dierks Bentley - Up On The Ridge
See this review. B

Alan Jackson - Hard Hat and a Hammer
Alan's meat and potatoes is the simple man song and here he delivers yet again. AJ's chugging right along doing what he does best and it is what it is. Enough cliches for ya? AJ could sing that line and make it sound AWESOME. B

Fast Ryde - Top Down
It's come to this. Jay Z proclaimed the death of autotune in rap music last year, after so much overuse of the voice altering production software. That didn't stop Fast Ryde from introducing autotune to "country" music. Sure George Strait used a little of it in "Stars on the Water" as a novelty to spice things a little, but here Fast Ryde serves it up as the main dish. Seriously, that's all this song brings to the table. The chorus makes Bucky Covington working a sudoku look smart. People, I'm running out of ways to say stuff sucks. F

Randy Houser - I'm All About It
As shallow as this song is, the more I hear it, the more I like it. Randy is a true talent who self-admittedly has to send cloying stuff like this to radio to get anything played. Given the choice of his crappy song and some of the previous crappy songs on this list, I'm going with Mr. Houser. C+

Josh Turner - All Over Me
Whereas Locash Cowboys and Fast Ryde's songs on this compilation are stupid summer movies made by C-List actors with a low budget, this song is a stupid summer movie starring Will Smith with a hundred-million dollar budget. Make sense? B-

Colt Ford - Chicken & Biscuits
I really don't know what to say at this point besides I really need a drink. This song is more country than half the other songs I've reviewed here, but it's a friggin' rap song. Chicken & Biscuits doesn't qualify as a guilty pleasure... I don't like it. I don't hate it either. I'm just really glad this is all over. Please help me. C-

Snap Judgments: Promo Only Country Radio April 2010

Did this back and December and it was such a rousing meh, I thought I'd do it again. Here are some quick "reviews" of all the songs your local country station will be running into the ground next month.

1. Jason Aldean - "Crazy Town"

This dreck tosses what little goodwill I'd gotten about the guy based on his strong single "The Truth" right out the window. This is a rock song about becoming a country star. And not a very good one at that. Its emotional depth on the subject of making it in country music runs about as deep as Cowboy Troy's street cred. D

2. Miranda Lambert - "The House that Built Me"

Some have called this the single of the year and who am I to argue? Let's just hope Miranda has built up enough glad tidings with radio that she can get this fine ballad played as much as it deserves. A

3. Blaine Larsen - "Chillin'"

Blaine's groovy little summer song seems to have been ripped from Kenny Chesney's songbook. His likable drawl and delivery will probably make this a hit, but as laid back top-down songs go, this is middle of the pack due to a heavy dose of cliché. C+

4. Tim McGraw - "Still"

Moderately more exciting than its title. "Still," it has an interesting enough sonic texture to give it a little more weight than much of McGraw's output of recent years. C+

5. Tyler Dickerson - "Tell Your Sister I'm Single"

While I'm a little uncomfortable that it seems young Tyler is making a play not only on his ex's sis but also on his ex's mother in the chorus, this is a catchy song from a strong new talent. It's also a male-centric attitude song, something sorely missing on country radio in recent years. B-

6. Jimmy Wayne Ft. Whitney Duncan - "Just Knowing You Love Me"

Another slice of soft rock banana bread from the master of milquetoast (Carb overload!). Luckily, this one's not as bad as most of his previous singles and the compliment of Whitney Duncan's vocals makes this fairly listenable. I just wish J-dub would get some testosterone replacement therapy. C

7. Kenny Chesney - "Ain't Back Yet"

This Springsteen-esque country rocker is more satisfying than Chesney's recent work by a pretty long stretch. It's another reminiscing song added to a long resume of 'em, but a lot less annoying than say, "Young." Surprisingly, I think I like this. B

8. Taylor Swift - "Today Was a Fairy Tale"

Treacly, schmaltzy, cliché, lilting, formulaic, but somehow I can't bring myself to hate it. It'll make millions (more). C-

9. James Otto - "Groovy Little Summer Song"

I'm glad he reminds the guitar player where to start his solo, because he may have just dozed off during the early part of this happily lazy, uh, groovy little summer song. Sure it's a release calculated for maximum timeliness, but just the fact that it's not a hard rock song celebrating bonfires and cutoffs sets this apart from the usual summer dreck. B

10. Jason Sturgeon - "Simple Life"

Simple song. Repetitive, fairly dull and without a single chance at heavy rotation, though some of the instrumentation is nice and Jason's voice is good on the ears - kind of a mix of Radney Foster and Toby Keith. C-

11. Brandi Carlile - "Dying Day"

A token folk-alt-country addition to this month's edition of the promo only disk. For the rare few stations that will play something outside the mainstream. While I'm an apologist for and a big fan of folk-alt-whatever-country, this track is actually fairly listless and unmemorable. Brandi's a big talent in a small genre though. C+

12. Jerrod Niemann - "Lover, Lover"

Well, this is an unexpected surprise. It's bouncy, catchy and commercial while still managing to sound like nothing else on the dial with its bluesy front porch clap-along sound. Excellent track! A-

13. Uncle Kracker - "Smile (Happy Hour-Deluxe Version)"

I'm not sure I can tell the difference between this version and the version that played on pop and AAA stations a couple months ago. The fact that it didn't have to be changed much, if at all, to be presentable to country radio speaks volumes. This was a guilty pleasure the first 3 times I heard it. Since, not so much. C-

14. Laura Bell Bundy - "Giddy On Up"

I'm still in the honeymoon phase with this song. I'll hate it and myself for kinda liking it after a couple of weeks, but damn if it's not catchy and so bad it's good. This generation's "Whose Bed Have Your Boots Been Under?" or (more likely) "Achy Breaky Heart?" It's Broadway country custom built for line dancing. B (2 weeks from now grade - D)

15. Jaron and the Long Road to Love - "Pray for You"

Wow. Here's attitude for you. I was about to write this one off as a Jimmy Wayne wuss-song (though the over-wrought organ intro should have clued me in) until the chorus punched me in the stomach. I like the resurgence of gonaditude on this compilation, but this might be a little harsh with the hopes for God to call down vengeance with flower pots and blown tires. Still, it might elicit enough of a "hell yeah" response in listeners to smooth over the fact that Jaron's praying physical and emotional harm upon his ex. B

16. Emily West w. Keith Urban - "Blue Sky"

See this review. B+

17. Lee Allen - "Settle Down"

Cute hook. A voice reminiscent of John Michael Montgomery. The song is pretty reminiscent of some of JMM's non-ballads also. It's not bad. Probably not enough oomph to conquer the top 30 though. C

18. Coldwater Jane - "Bring on the Love"

The second act on this compilation from my home state of Mississippi (the first being Tyler Dickenson), these girls slide pretty easily into the spot SheDaisy vacated with their hit drought (if that spot still exists). Thankfully, Coldwater Jane is far closer to country than SheDaisy ever thought of being. B-

Snap Judgments: Promo Only Country Radio Dec. 09

I have a friend who worked at a country radio station in the 90's and he used to let me have these Promo Only Country Radio comp's pretty regularly but I haven't listened to one since the (non-legal) Napster days. An anonymous source sent this newest edition to me to review... can't imagine why - except that it's got 5 of my favorite targets (Toby Keith, Justin Moore, Jimmy Wayne, Rascal Flatts, Fast Ryde) on one album! Fish in a barrel and me with this shotgun! I doubt this will become a regular series, since I don't have access to these compilations (but hey, anonymous or somebody else, keep 'em coming if possible!).

Anyway, here are my snap judgments of the songs your local station will be overplaying in December if not sooner. (to be honest, I've heard a few of them before, but anyway...)

1. Chasin' Girls (Album Version) - Rodney Atkins

My IQ dropped 15 points in the 3:30 span of this song. It's not looking good for me still knowing how to spell by the end of this post. This is the dumbist song Rodney's put out yet, and that's saying sumtheeng. D-

2. Cryin' for Me (Wayman's Song) - Toby Keith

Personal, moving and maybe a little surprising, given who it's from. It's a very good song, but possibly a little too narrow in focus to go any higher than top 10 for Toby. Country radio's got no soul. B+

3. Seeing Stars - Jack Ingram with Patty Griffin

Jack tries to maintain his last shred of Americana cred with this thoughtful song featuring singer/songwriter Patty Griffin. Successful? A little, but it strives to be much deeper than it really is. Still, it did help restore my IQ a bit after Rodney's track. B-

4. Hell on the Heart - Eric Church

Not the next single I'd have chosen from Eric's fine Carolina album, but a lesser Church single is miles better than, say, Chuck Wicks' best. B-

5. Angels Like Her - Trent Tomlinson

Hmmm, I get the feeling I've heard this before. Oh yeah, I have... and I still don't like it that much. The imagery in the opening lines is great though. C

6. Backwoods - Justin Moore

Opens with a greasy southern guitar lick... that's nice. Then comes the listing of all things southern... Hmmm, I get the feeling I've heard this before. Oh yeah, I have.... in 1246 previous country pride songs... and I still don't like it that much. It is catchy though. C-

7. Make it Rain - Fast Ryde

This "difficulty of farming lament" runs about as deep as the dry creek running by their dusty farm. IQ nosediving again. Worse than "That Thang." (!!) F

8. Gimmie That Girl - Joe Nichols

Fun, catchy and warm. Solid single from one of the best voices in the genre. B+

9. Why - Rascal Flatts

I'm glad that they're touching on this serious subject that affects way too many people. That aside, this doesn't work for me, but it will be their umpteenth #1 hit. C

10. Stay - Telluride

A dull track from a band that sounds like Jake Owen lite (and Jake Owen heavy ain't much to write home about). D

11. Gotta Be Somebody - Bucky Covington (full .99 Review coming soon)

I'm not prone to cliché or violence, but this makes me want to punch kittens. F-

12. Long After I'm Gone - Big Kenny

He means well, and this is a pleasant enough song, but it's probably not going to be a hit due to his less than Clearchannel-friendly voice. C

13. Sara Smile - Jimmy Wayne Ft. Daryl Hall & John Oates

I'm starting to think this anonymous source was trying to ruin my day. This is the least country song ever released as a country song, period. If not for him being a real decent guy, I might hate Jimmy, but this is just music not life. At music, he FAILS. F

14. One More Drinkin' Song - Jerrod Niemann

This is a middle of the road drinkin' song that is unlikely to get much airplay outside the barrooms that inspired it. C-

15. Julianna - Emma Jacob

Good message, good delivery, decent song overall. If sung by Sugarland, a top 5 hit. Unfortunately, contemporary radio's about as welcoming to up-and-coming females as Adam Lambert is. B

16. The Road - Aaron Watson

Once upon a time in the 90's when country radio still had a soft spot for salt-of-the-earth country songs, this could have been a one-off hit. Now, not so much. A-

17. Hard Rain - Gwen Sebastian

Not sure what I think about this one. It's okay. I like her voice and the imagery of the chorus, but overall, the song is somehow lacking. C

18. Johnny Be Good - Doug Adkins

Suffice it to say, you won't ever hear this on the radio. Interesting to see that the Promo Only comps still include these local oddities. I like that it has some rockabilly flourish, but this is an overly awkward and very lily-white rendition of Chuck Berry's classic. Cranking up some Bo Diddley now. D-

.99 Review: Randy Houser

.99 Review

Randy Houser

"Whistlin' Dixie"

The People's Take

New Hank Jr. (5 Stars) – We have a new Hank Jr. Thanks Randy for bringing country back to our music.

-by Bchurc01

New Country (2 Stars) – Sorry Kids but these New Guys are all the same, Can't sing without Pitch Correction Machines and everybody wants to be a Hank Jr. Whats going on with Country Music, no wonder the Rockin Rollers Laugh at these People, I feel for them. They've gone from Kareokie to Record Deal.

– by MusicMan Nut

My Take

Since this is another "I'm a real country boy" listing song and I plan to rip into it momentarily, I probably shouldn't defend Randy, but MusicMan Nut (People's Take review #2) is throwing a wide net (and what's up with his capitalizations?). Sure commercial country as a whole includes way too many glorified karaoke singers, but Mr. Houser is not one of them. His rich, genuinely country, character-filled voice is one of the reasons I still have hope for the genre. Defense over.

My biggest peeve about this song is that this title/hook was wasted on yet another grocery list. I won't claim to be a consistently Nashville-calibre songwriter (I have a couple of indie cuts and a few published songs) but I wrote a lyric a few years ago called "Whistlin' Dixie" that was about a woman in a poisonous relationship who kept threatening to leave her boyfriend and move to the south, then she finally did it... thus "she ain't just whistlin' Dixie." Again, I'm no Craig Wiseman, but mine is a far better theme for this title, in my humble opinion... but the title's commercial viability is now shot for a while.

Sour grapes (FTM's favorite food source ;)) aside, this is fairly engagingly written for what it is and does present a few elements of southern living that may not have been touched on in the 1,245 previous songs about country pride. It's also well performed. I'm fairly certain that the vocals will never be an issue with Ronnie, errr, Randy.

So why waste that instrument on this song? Surely there's some narrative that could have tied all these good ol' boy touchstones together. I know I shouldn't harp on the genre as a whole when critiquing a single, but at some point, these listing songs became a parody of themselves and even your average country radio listener is going to catch onto that soon enough. This well's almost dry, boys. Find another source, or at least find a more creative way to use this one.

All in all, "Whistlin' Dixie" is far from hate-worthy, but it's a terrible misuse of a fine set of pipes.

Bonus points for not rhyming hippy with Mississippi. And shockingly, this only gets two marks on the checklist.

Total value: .55/.99

The Checklist

Church/God

Mama

Boots

Name Dropping

Dying Person

County Fair

Lost Love

Love

Hometown/Country Pride

Kindly Advice

Truck

Whiskey

Beer

Life Affirmation

USA

Soldiers

Pop Sheen

.99 Review: LoCash Cowboys

.99 Review

LoCash Cowboys

"Fresh Off the Farm"

The People's Take

Alsome!!!!!!!$$$$$ (5 Stars)) – I can't believe they are not in the top iTunes list, but they do deserve it. They work so hard to get this far, I wonder wats goin to happen nxt wit them- go LoCash!!!!!

-by Gambet

Love these guys! (5 stars) – So excited to finally get some new LoCash!! I just love Fresh Off The Farm! If you've never seen these guys in concert, I highly recommend it! They rock down the house and are so friendly, too! They are just the best! Love you guys!

– by CheerCat35

My Take

So the saying goes: "You can't judge a book by its cover." I call B.S. The LoCash Cowboys are douchebags. Look at them (album cover at bottom of article). One guy's got the blu-blocker shades on and lots of bling, a Trent Tomlinson-issue dew rag, a carefully unkempt shirt and tie, ripped jeans, watch chain, manicured facial hair, the pursed lips kissy face and the two-gun salute. The other guy is similarly attired and displays the "yeah!" face with a one gun salute/"what up" sign. So, yeah, it's indisputable. Strike one.

Could we give 'em a pass if the music was good? No. But fear not, it's not. Good that is.

What really pisses me off about the song is that it's not bad by current Nashville standards. I'd hoped to make fun of the production values, because I'd heard a couple of songs from their self-released debut and it was charmingly awful. Not so now, what with Jeffrey Steele at the helm, they sound just like everybody else in Nashvegas. Like a PG-13 Rascal Flatts even. So, they robbed me of that angle for talking trash about them. Strike two.

I'm not going to actually review this song (do I ever?). All you need to know is that it sounds something like the aforementioned Rascal Flatts by way of Big & Rich's "Save a Horse..." and that the 'boys provide you with this handy-dandy checklist to cull potential girlfriends:

[ ] wears Daisy Dukes

[ ] wears cowboy boots

[ ] is cornfed

[ ] is fine as Ellie May

[ ] green as John Deere

[ ] has a hourglass figure

[ ] gets you high as a barn

[ ] can load shotgun

[ ] can fish

[ ] can milk a cow

[ ] is homegrown

[ ] is country fried

If your woman doesn't meet at least five of these criteria, it's time to seriously consider kicking her to the curb.

Or not.

Hey, Cowboys. Strike Three. You suck!

Total value: .09/.99

The Checklist

Church/God

Mama

Boots

Name Dropping

Dying Person

County Fair

Lost Love

Love

Hometown Pride

Kindly Advice

Truck

Whiskey

Beer

Life Affirmation

USA

Soldiers

Pop Sheen

.99 Review: Tim McGraw "Southern Voice"

.99 Review

Tim McGraw

"Southern Voice"

The People's Take

ok song (3 Stars) – I watch tim on thursday night football

-by Kylie Jo 1

Tim remains true to his roots with "Southern Voice" (5 stars) – Swiftly after the marginally charted "It's a Business Doing Pleasure With You", McGraw has released another single that will be a radio smash. "Southern Voice", a song that credits several historical and modern legends for their contributions to the "southern voice", is a twangy number that will force the listener to sing or hum along everytime it plays. McGraw's vocal performance in this song are, as he puts in the song, "smooth", and along with that, the honky-tonk instrumental aid simply adds to the overall "fun" that this sing-along single will promote.

-by Agent Ashcroft

My Take

I was hoping to give this a positive review. I actually enjoy a lot of Tim's music (a lot more than I should admit as a commercial country music farcer and a big alt-country fan) so I'm rooting for a comeback despite his recent song choice foibles and record company troubles. Also, I have a southern superiority complex - at least culturally and athletically - so I never tire of new pandering country hits to fuel my yeehaw. I even liked Buddy Jewell's hymn to the south - not the one about the southern border, mind you.

Some of the parts of "Southern Voice" are nice but the sum of the parts is meh. Trouble with this one is the overall presentation. Par for the country course, it's a listing song - listing people who happen to be southern and happen to have done positive things and been generally successful in life. Other than the fact that they sprang from the same geographic region and were not known for being crystal meth dealers, racists, arsonists, ignoramuses or barefoot yokels, there is little else to hold together this string of names. And another thing, any listing song about the southern voice that doesn't mention this guy is missing a major piece of cultural significance.

The music doesn't help with the presentation. I'd expect a song called "Southern Voice" to either sound really country or pull in some anthem-like Southern rock guitar. Wrong on both counts. The tune just kinda lays there like water in a jar ... or grits... and grits without bacon bits or pepper or sugar or butter, just plain-ass grits. Oh yeah, there's harmonica - so I guess the grits have (is grits a plural?) a dash of salt.

I won't say this is a terrible song (save what might be the clumsiest, most cliche ridden bridge ever). On third and fourth listens, it's actually starting to burrow into my ears a little and hey, I respect all the folks presented. "Southern Voice" just doesn't fuel my yeehaw.

An aside: here are a few of metrolyrics.com's interpretation the song's lyrics (lol!):

"Will Farmer wrote it"

"blows from Memphis down to Appalachia Coal"

"Don't let this old goat cross in this Almond Brothers t-shirt and throw ya"

"Dr. King paved it"

"Billy Graves saved it"

Total value: .55/.99

The Checklist

Church/God

Mama

Boots

Name Dropping

Dying Person

County Fair

Lost Love

Love

Hometown Pride

Kindly Advice

Truck

Whiskey

Beer

Life Affirmation

USA

Soldiers

Pop Sheen

Star Power