Farce the Music: Blake Shelton

Showing posts with label Blake Shelton. Show all posts

Jun 10, 2020

Make U Cry

Jan 10, 2020

Honest Aircheck Top 15 Country Songs

Dec 10, 2019

11 Worst Country Songs of 2019

11 Worst Country* Songs of 2019

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1. Zac Brown Band - God Given
I somehow left Zac Brown off the original list, and I think that’s a symptom of his irrelevance these days. This is clearly the worst song released under the “country” heading in 2019. This song should be the new “Rick Roll.” What an embarrassment. Lame middle-aged white man rapping and beats and creepiness. Somebody set up an intervention soon.

2. Mitchell Tenpenny - Alcohol You Later

A heaving lump of R&B lite douchebaggery wrapped around a cliché of a hook.

3. Blake Shelton ft/Trace Adkins - Hell Right

Lame bro-country redux from the try-hard stepdad of mainstream country and his drunken uncle.

4. Luke Bryan - Knockin’ Boots

A cheesy come-on with stolen 90s slang. Cringe.

5. Avenue Beat - Delight

If they’re the future, I’m a proud boomer.

6. Florida-Georgia Line - Swerve

Not a single, yet, thankfully. As bad as anything they’ve done before, and that’s of course a deep well.

7. Mitchell Tenpenny ft/Seaforth - Anything She Says

Ugh. Mitchell Tenpenny has usurped Kane Brown as the artist whose voice makes me most quickly change the station.

8. Chris Lane - I Don’t Know About You

I don't know why you're still here.

9. Sam Hunt - Kinfolks

Not nearly as bad as driving the wrong way while drunk, but an affront to the senses to be sure. Please leave again.

10. Dustin Lynch - Ridin’ Roads

Dustin doubles down on his shallowness. His looks and willingness to blend into the sonic wallpaper are his only selling points now.

11. Brantley Gilbert - Fire’t Up

Brantley done fire’t up the wayback machine to 2013. His NFL performance was bad enough to trend on Twitter, and the studio version is only better in the way that getting punched in the stomach is better than getting punched in the face.

*country = released into the country genre

Dec 3, 2019

Really Dumb Country Reviews: Dec. '19

From a popular digital music service.

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Dan + Shay & Bieber - 10,000 Hours

Highwomen - s/t

Miranda Lambert - Wildcard

Jason Aldean - 9

Cody Jinks - The Wanting

Upchurch - Parachute

Ashley McBryde - One Night Standards

Blake & Trace - Hell Right

Luke Bryan - What She Wants Tonight

Sep 19, 2019

Easy Mistake

The Princess Bride Country Reaction Gifs

When somebody says their favorite 'country' singer is Thomas Rhett

What's the best way to listen to an Old Dominion song?

Patiently listening to country radio to hear a country song

If you're a hick-hop fan expecting people to respect your taste

You don't like Charles Wesley Godwin?

When your office-mate is already playing Kane Brown when you get to work at 8

Highwomen had the #1 country album?

When my wife says they were playing bro-country in the store the whole time she was there and I laugh.

"Hell Right, Hell Right"

Aug 30, 2019

Country Fantasy Football Team Names 2019

The NFL gets rolling soon, so it's fantasy football draft time! Here are some (mostly country) music-related fantasy football team names by me and some of FTM's Twitter pals. Any that aren't credited here were come up with by me or Jeremy Harris. You're welcome to steal them because you probably aren't in the same leagues...

Ever Lovin’ Handoff (Jeremy Harris’ actual team name)

Le’Ve’on the Road Again

Beer, Weed, Pooches

Red Solo Kupp

Gurley Shake it For Me

Drake Farm

4th Down Road - Derek Hudgin

Well Well Well My Michel

Between JuJu and Jones

Who Dat Man

Once, Guice, Three Times a Lady

Good Lord Leonard