Showing posts with label Blake Shelton. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Blake Shelton. Show all posts
May 28, 2021
May 27, 2021
Apr 16, 2021
Local Man Mows Vulgar Phrase on Radio Station Lawn
Local country music fan Reginald Spears was arrested Friday morning after mowing a vulgar phrase onto the lawn of radio station WTSM Catfish 104.9 FM.
Police said Spears, who has a long record of misdemeanors and public complaints, was taken into custody without incident at the country station as he admired his work from the seat of his John Deere riding lawnmower. Deputy William Cranston said the man was finishing off a bottle of whiskey and singing to himself before turning around with his hands behind his back.
"We'd gotten a few calls about a white male driving a mower through town with shoes dragging behind, but hadn't been able to find him until the radio station manager called us," said Cranston.
WTSM manager Bart McGee confronted the man before calling police. "I asked him if he was with our lawn care service because he looked suspicious and kind of familiar. There wasn't a truck or trailer anywhere, just him on his mower," said McGee. "It wasn't until he said something about us only playing George Jones because he died that I noticed what he'd just done... there was a huge 'F**k You' mowed into the grass."
Although Mr. Spears was not available for comment at press time, his wife - Laverne Spears, also local was all too pleased to fill us in on the events leading up to the incident. "His alarm clock woke him up with the radio playing that Forrest Gump remix of 'Finally Friday' and he got up cranky. He said he was gonna show them sumb*tches about respecting the Possum."
"He went out and cranked up the mower and I thought he was just gonna cut the yard till he drove off down the road," she continued. Spears' ride apparently took him to Barney's Package Store, then the Goodwill Store, where he was seen tying shoes behind the mower. He snarled mid-morning traffic as he drove the slow-moving vehicle through the town square to his final destination.
"He pointed at those shoes behind his mower and asked me 'Who the f**k's gonna fill em? Fake Shelton?' I could smell whiskey on his breath," recounts McGee. "Then a light came on and I remembered he was the same guy who cut our signal a couple of years back for playing 'Christmas Shoes.' What a kook!"
Spears may now be facing some actual jail time due to his prior record. His charges for this "protest" include operating a non-street-legal vehicle in traffic, driving while intoxicated and vandalism. "That vandalism charge is bullsh*t," claims Mrs. Spears. "Their grass was high as an armadillo's *ss. He was helping them out. They can kiss my *ss too! Long live the Possum!"
Apr 2, 2021
Nov 17, 2020
Nov 4, 2020
The Current Poop of Mainstream Country Radio: November 2020
A poop emoji is negative. A strike-thru is positive.
The current Poop Rating of the Mediabase Top 20 is (-4) overall which is a 5 point improvement from August (the previous time we did this chart). The worst song by a long shot is Dan + Shay’s “I Should Probably Go to Bed.” The best song is Jon Pardi’s “Ain’t Always the Cowboy,” edging out Stapleton’s latest by a hair. There are some decent tunes here and the chart should improve a little more over the fall and winter. On a negative note, there’s only 1 solo woman, so we’re back to square one on that front. Do better, Nashville.
Chart info from Mediabase/Country Aircheck.
Nov 3, 2020
Oct 30, 2020
Oct 27, 2020
Aug 5, 2020
Jul 27, 2020
Jun 10, 2020
Jan 10, 2020
Dec 10, 2019
11 Worst Country Songs of 2019
11 Worst Country* Songs of 2019
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I somehow left Zac Brown off the original list, and I think that’s a symptom of his irrelevance these days. This is clearly the worst song released under the “country” heading in 2019. This song should be the new “Rick Roll.” What an embarrassment. Lame middle-aged white man rapping and beats and creepiness. Somebody set up an intervention soon.
2. Mitchell Tenpenny - Alcohol You Later
A heaving lump of R&B lite douchebaggery wrapped around a cliché of a hook.
3. Blake Shelton ft/Trace Adkins - Hell Right
Lame bro-country redux from the try-hard stepdad of mainstream country and his drunken uncle.
4. Luke Bryan - Knockin’ Boots
A cheesy come-on with stolen 90s slang. Cringe.
5. Avenue Beat - Delight
If they’re the future, I’m a proud boomer.
6. Florida-Georgia Line - Swerve
Not a single, yet, thankfully. As bad as anything they’ve done before, and that’s of course a deep well.
7. Mitchell Tenpenny ft/Seaforth - Anything She Says
Ugh. Mitchell Tenpenny has usurped Kane Brown as the artist whose voice makes me most quickly change the station.
8. Chris Lane - I Don’t Know About You
I don't know why you're still here.
9. Sam Hunt - Kinfolks
Not nearly as bad as driving the wrong way while drunk, but an affront to the senses to be sure. Please leave again.
10. Dustin Lynch - Ridin’ Roads
Dustin doubles down on his shallowness. His looks and willingness to blend into the sonic wallpaper are his only selling points now.
11. Brantley Gilbert - Fire’t Up
Brantley done fire’t up the wayback machine to 2013. His NFL performance was bad enough to trend on Twitter, and the studio version is only better in the way that getting punched in the stomach is better than getting punched in the face.
*country = released into the country genre
Dec 3, 2019
Really Dumb Country Reviews: Dec. '19
From a popular digital music service.
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Dan + Shay & Bieber - 10,000 Hours
Highwomen - s/t
Miranda Lambert - Wildcard
Jason Aldean - 9
Cody Jinks - The Wanting
Upchurch - Parachute
Ashley McBryde - One Night Standards
Blake & Trace - Hell Right
Luke Bryan - What She Wants Tonight
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