Showing posts with label Carrie Underwood. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Carrie Underwood. Show all posts

Nov 13, 2019

Top 10 Things Brad Paisley Might Be Doing During the CMAs



Brad Paisley won’t be co-hosting the CMA Awards for the first time in a while tonight. While it’s possible he may make an appearance to joke about his own absence or something, here are a few guesses as to what he might be doing otherwise.

10. Plotting another comeback that stalls at 17 on the country chart

9. Playing Guitar Hero and killing White Claws

8. Writing jokes for his next mildly amusing comedy special

7. Eating bon bons and watching Disney+

6. Writing a new comedic song about Tik Tok, or Crocs, or how women are always shopping or some shit

5. Sticking pins in a Carrie Underwood voodoo doll

4. Staring proudly at his NAACP award for ending racism with LL Cool J’s help

3. Tweeting from a burner account about how bad the show is without Brad Paisley co-hosting

2. Wiping his tears with a wad of crisp hundred dollar bills

1. Changing his contact information so Peyton Manning will leave him the f*** alone

Oct 31, 2019

Scream Country Reaction Gifs

When the insurance company puts you on hold and their hold music is Thomas Rhett

"But the female country singers just aren't making songs as good as the men do"

 "Carrie, why did you key my truck, bust out my headlights, and flatten my tires?"

When you're about to walk into the Halloween party but you can hear Kane Brown music playing inside

Sturgill and Tyler are going on an arena tour in 2020!

♫ ♬ Here you come again
Just when I've begun to get myself together ♫ ♬

"But why can't I sing about clubbing in a southern drawl over an EDM beat and call it country?"

Her: (whispers) Morgan Wallen's version is better than Isbell's
Me:

We shoulda known something was up with Zac Brown when he changed some lyrics of Isbell's "Dress Blues"

Oct 16, 2019

The Current Poop of Mainstream Country: Oct. '19

A poop emoji is negative; a strike-thru is positive.



The current Poop Rating of the Mediabase Top 20 is (-8) overall which is a 2 point improvement from July (the previous time we did this chart). The best song on the chart is Jon Pardi’s “Heartache Medication.”  The worst is Blake Shelton & Trace Adkins’ “Hell Right.” 


Chart info from Mediabase/Country Aircheck.

Aug 15, 2019

WWE Country Reaction Gifs 37

People who don't like Whitey Morgan are

My review of the new Blake Shelton/Trace Adkins song that I haven't even heard yet

When you're at a restaurant and immediately realize they're playing mainstream country over the speakers

When Tyler Childers lets the beard grow out

I like Carrie Underwood, but her current single is

What does mainstream country radio do?

When you go to a music festival in summer

Do you know anybody going to the Luke Bryan concert?

When your friends says "Okay, don't make fun of me but I kinda like that new Kane Brown song."

Jul 12, 2019

The Current Poop of Mainstream Country: July '19

A poop emoji is negative; a strike-thru is positive.


The current Poop Rating of the Mediabase Top 20 is (-10) overall which is a 6 point improvement from January (the previous time we did this chart). The best song on the chart is Eric Church’s “Some of It.”  The worst is Thomas Rhett’s “Look What God Gave Her” (though there is very stiff competition from FGL and Luke Bryan). The biggest surprise for me is that Keith Urban’s current single isn’t too bad. I can’t remember the last time one of his singles wasn’t unlistenable pop dreck. Women are faring a little better on the chart now, but only marginally.

Chart info from Mediabase/Country Aircheck.


Jun 27, 2019

Brad Paisley's New Album All Songs About Songs

by Trailer - Originally posted on Country California, March 22, 2011 
FNN has learned that Brad Paisley's upcoming album release, This Is Country Music, features 12 new songs, all of them about songs. 

His first single, "This Is Country Music," deftly describes the reasons country music is in the state it is today resonates so deeply with its audience, while "Old Alabama" reminisces about good times had while listening to Alabama songs. 

The third single is tentatively scheduled to be "Jesus Take The Wheel," which is about Carrie Underwood's song of the same title. In it, Paisley relates how much that song meant to him personally and how his wife heard the song when she was nearly in a car accident on the way to an audition for a new Martin Lawrence sitcom. 

Other tracks on the release include "Play Me Hank Jr., Junior," "Tucker'd Out" and "Kid Rock's 'All Summer Long.'" The latter features Kid Rock on a verse, giving his appreciation to Brad for the shout-out and for solidifying "All Summer Long" as a yearly recurrent from May through August. 

The centerpiece of This Is Country Music is undoubtedly "The Song You're Listening To." It recounts, moment by moment, how you--the listener--are feeling as you hear the verses and chorus of that very song itself. In an era of immediate feedback, this is as meta as it gets. 

It's clear that Brad Paisley has his dexterous finger on the pulse of country and popular culture, and This Is Country Music will set the bar for observational skill and synopsis. 

At press time, Brad was hard at work looking back nostalgically on the days when he had new ideas for songs. 

Jan 10, 2019

The Current Poop of Mainstream Country: January '19

A poop emoji is negative; a strike-thru is positive.



The current Poop Rating of the Mediabase Top 20 is (-16) overall which is a 2 point drop from last September (the previous time we did this chart). The best song on the chart is Chris Stapleton's "Millionaire."  The worst is Mitchell Tenpenny's "Drunk Me" followed closely by Dustin Lynch's "Good Girl." There is 1 solo woman on the charts. In fact, there's only 1 woman in the entire top 20.



Chart info from Mediabase/Country Aircheck.

Jan 8, 2019

Carrie Underwood Bites Head Off Live Broccoli On Stage

by Trailer - Originally posted on Country California, Thursday, January 15, 2009 

Former American Idol winner and country superstar Carrie Underwood upset plant rights activists Wednesday night with a shocking act at her Memphis concert. During her encore, in the midst of the blazing "Sweet Child o' Mine" guitar solo, Underwood, wearing over-the-knee leather boots and a tight black dress, walked to the middle of the stage with a Ziploc enclosure of fresh veggies in her hand. 

The crowd gasped as Underwood reached into the baggie and selected a crisp piece of broccoli, still dripping with morning dew. As the solo reached its zenith, Underwood neatly snipped the head off the helpless garden dweller with a quick click of her pearly whites, smiling coldly all the while. As juices and bits of green flesh dripped down her chin, Underwood casually ripped off the "where do we go now?" refrain with terrifying ease over audible gasps from concert goers. Portions of the FedEx Forum audience seemed appalled at the carnage, while others cheered her on. 

Underwood finished her set with an attitude-filled take on her massive hit "Before He Cheats" before swiftly leaving the stage, her visible discomposure reflecting a dawning awareness of the wicked deed she had just committed. PEVA (People for Ethical Vegetable Accommodation) spokeswoman Greta Peels said her organization was pushing Memphis-area law enforcement for a full investigation into the matter. 


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