Farce the Music: Charlie Daniels

Showing posts with label Charlie Daniels. Show all posts

Dec 20, 2019

Little Known Facts: Christmas 2019 Edition

Sitting on Charlie Daniels’ lap and telling him what

you want for Christmas really pisses him off.

According to Santa’s Naughty and Nice List, Jason “Rowdy” Cope

of The Steel Woods isn’t rowdy at all.

Shooter Jennings announced a spring tour and is looking forward to hitting the

road to unwind after another winter of making toys for good boys and girls.

Blind Item: 30-50 feral hogs stole a popular Americana band’s van

and gear trailer in certain southeastern Texas city.

Freezing temps across the country have caused Luke Bryan’s pants to fit better,

but he is now battling chapped lips.

Mitchell Tenpenny is the first artist in a new country sub-genre: Incel Country.

With 2019 coming to an end I decided to check in with Colt Ford and

his resolution to no longer suck. Failing for 50 weeks and counting.

The real issue is that there isn’t a war on “The Christmas Shoes.”

Kane Brown is beter then you’re favorite country sinjer.

~this fact guest-written by a Kane Brown fan.

Florida Georgia Line’s FGL House features a reverse toy drive where employees

go to hospitals and orphanages in Nashville and take take toys from the children.

Thomas Rhett cheerful story blah blah good news happy blah.

Starbucks compensated Jason Isbell for not changing his twitter name to IsBELLS this year by sending him a free nonfat, vanilla, soy latte with espresso shot once a week until March. (<—This fact requires too much referential minutia for the average person to get it, but I left it in so you can make fun of Jeremy for writing it. ~Trailer)

I went to see Luke Combs the other day. He said I needed wipers and a cabin air filter.

Gary Levox had a recent trip to the dentist because he confused

the coal in his stocking for chocolate covered cherries.

Taylor Swift researched her role for Cats by being an actual crazy cat lady.

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Most of these by Jeremy Harris - a few by Trailer

Dec 4, 2019

6 New Charlie Daniels Parody Album Covers

Feb 4, 2019

Monday Morning Memes: Willie, Charlie Daniels, Kane Brown

Sep 14, 2018

Little Known Facts: September '18

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By Jeremy Harris and Trailer

Before Cody Jinks was a country singer, he was in a metal band. Before he was in a metal band, he was the choreographer for Color Me Badd

Charlie Daniels has voted Green Party in the last 6 Presidential elections; He just pretends to be a hardcore Republican so as not to alienate his fans

Carrie Underwood became a vegetarian after seeing Blake Shelton eat a pork chop sandwich one time

Tyler Childers' carpet doesn't match the drapes

When Shooter Jennings gets angry, Misty has to tranquilize him lest he stomp his foot deeply into the floor and tear himself in two

Lin-Manuel Miranda is adapting a rap version of Pure Country for Broadway

Listening to Old Dominion’s “Written In The Sand” can be used against you in a court of law if you are accused of sexual misconduct

CMT will broadcast the Americana Honors and Awards November 28th, at 3:00 a.m. between a rerun of Full House and a Flex Seal infomercial

Kelsea Ballerini gets so mad about Farce the Music's constant Barbie doll jokes that she kicks her little plastic dog across the glittery pink living room

There’s a 99% chance Lucero is better than your favorite band

Shooter Jennings came up with the idea for D.R.U.N.K. When he had trouble finding words to rhyme with Z.I.M.A.

Kane Brown fans actually have pretty low levels of meth addiction because "you never get high on your own supply"

Y’all should've been more specific when asking for more women on country radio because now we have Lindsay Ell

Tyler Childers is so good that Wheeler Walker Jr can introduce him and keep it PG

You can judge any album by how many tracks are “featuring” another artist

Turning on country radio and hearing Sam Hunt gives me the same feeling that Gary Levox gets when he takes a bite of ice cream and realizes it’s sugar free

Eric Church is on his way to your house right now to take all your AR-15's, teach your children about the 27 genders, and sign your wife up for the Communist party

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Aug 8, 2018

Tyler Childers & Sturgill Simpson / "Trudy" / Hinterland Festival

Nov 15, 2017

Country Singer/Professional Wrestler Equivalents 3

Chris Young = Sami Zayn

Talented, likable, turned bad when doing things the right way didn't make him popular.

Sam Hunt = Karl Malone

Tall. Athletic. Not actually a country singer/wrestler, but happy to (poorly) pretend to be for money. Never won a pro sports championship.

Old Dominion = The Spirit Squad

There may be some talent in there, but it's hard to tell. Stupid looking. Creepy as shit.

Rich O'Toole = Zack Ryder

A bro, but a likable one. Self hype-man. Annoying to some,

but appreciated when he does good work.

Charlie Daniels = Zeb Colter

Old, bearded, southern. Republican. Says crazy shit.

Dan + Shay = Billy and Chuck

Duo. Somewhat talented, but purists don't like them.

Are thought by some to be fabulous; not that there's anything wrong with that.

Oct 27, 2017

Charlie Daniels vs FGL

Dec 20, 2016

Little Known Facts: Christmas 2016 Edition

Krampus is a mythical beast who punishes unruly children during the
Christmas season. Justin Moore has to show him ID every year

All Luke Bryan wants for Christmas is his two front testicles

Charlie Daniels recently sat down on a Nashville mall bench and a line of

children looking for Santa suddenly formed in front of him

Santa added Dasher to his chili after he told Santa his favorite country singer was Sam Hunt

For Christmas this year, Miranda Lambert simply asks for peace, understanding,

and "shut the f**k up about Blake Shelton every time I do a damn interview"

Gary Levox's ban from all central Ohio Golden Corral restaurants expires on January 1st 2017

Hank 3 will attempt to spend Christmas with his dad this year but it will end badly

when he receives 'It's About Time' on cd as his gift

Golden Corral stock is a smart investment for 2017

Mattel is coming out with a new Holiday Country Barbie based on Kelsea Ballerini,

but it just looks like a regular Barbie

Santa decided that anyone who puts anything Florida-Georgia Line on

their Christmas list will receive a lump of coal and a Justin Wells cd instead

Since it's the time of sharing, I'm sharing the fact that Jason Aldean is

an ass with everyone that will listen

Since Farce The Music didn't feature Scotty McCreery on a shelf this year,

his sales dropped to only 1 album this winter

WWE wrestler Brian Kendrick requested December off to work as an elf at Macy's

so Shooter Jennings has been filling in for him in the ring

Kenny Rogers is thankful for the cold weather because it gives him an excuse for the frozen face

Millions of children won't get their presents until December 26th due to Santa losing

his sense of urgency after stopping at Willie Nelson's house

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Mostly by Jeremy Harris

Nov 4, 2016

Carl Outlaw, Real Country Fan, Reviews the 2016 CMA Awards

Carl Outlaw, Real Country Fan,
Reviews the 50th CMA Awards

I didn't watch the CMA Awards, but here is my review anyway. Was Hank 3 on there? Was Jamey Johnson on there? Was Gutbucket Slim and the Dewclaws on there? Hell naw. Than, why should I watch it? They don't respect real country music so they should change there name to Crappy Music Association. I'm so sick of the media flooding different genera's with pop music.

I heard they had a few real country singers on their. Like Charlie Pride and Charlie Daniels and Roy Clark, but if I had to sit threw one second of some fruity guy wearing Levi's Tights©, than it wasn't worth the effort. And Carrie Underwood and Brad Paisley were the hosts? Pop country bull shit! Brad Paisley can play guitar ok, but he's about as country as Elton John's ballsack. Carrie Underwood is a banshee and an American Idle contestant, so clearly she isn't REAL COUNTRY BY GOD.

And then I read on The Blaze that they had Beeyansay on there. WHAT THE UNHOLY HELLFIRE F**K? Who's house should I egg over this? Isn't she married to that guy who killed Tupac? What message are we sending to our good American children? That it's okay to let people like her on the COUNTRY DAMN MUSIC awards? Its all money driven and their isn't any morals left in this country! Beyonsay is anti-cops & Chicks are Anti-american....Natilie's bashing of Pres.Bush has not been forgotten.

I think Luke Bryan had a song on the show too, but I don't know who that is. Maybe those George Florida Boyz did a song too? They probably had a segment at the end wear they burned photos of Merle Haggard and George Jones on an altar in the shape of Taylor Swift. I'm just tired of all this shit. If you disagree with me you can kiss my REAL COUNTRY ASS.