Showing posts with label Christmas. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Christmas. Show all posts
Dec 10, 2018
More Monday Memes: FGL, Ralphie, Stapleton, etc.
Dec 7, 2018
Cousin Eddie Knows the Deal
Labels:
Christmas,
Christmas Vacation,
Kane Brown,
memes,
Sam Hunt,
Satire,
Twitter
Dec 6, 2018
'Tis the Season
Labels:
Christmas,
Kane Brown,
memes,
Satire,
The Office,
Twitter
"The Christmas Shoes" Sends Local Man Over the Edge
by Trailer - Originally posted on Country California, Thursday, December 15, 2011
Local country music fan Reginald Spears was arrested Tuesday for trespassing and destruction of property at WTSM Catfish 104.9 FM. Oddly enough, it was popular holiday song "The Christmas Shoes" that set him off.
Spears had apparently called the station several times in recent weeks profanely complaining about the seasonal hit being played so frequently. "I appreciate feedback from our listeners," said station manager Bart McGee, "but a lot of people like to hear that song this time of year. It's a sweet, and in no way contrived or overwrought, story."
Currently still in the Hazzard County Jail, Spears is facing potential stiff fines and further charges pending an FCC investigation of the incident that knocked WTSM off the air for approximately 28 hours Monday and Tuesday.
Around noon on Monday, Spears allegedly climbed the fence behind the radio station and used industrial-grade bolt cutters to cut all wires and cables connecting the transmitter tower to the station. Miraculously unhurt despite the barbed wire and high voltage, Spears was only caught after posting a photo of himself urinating on the tower on Facebook.
"I told that little weasely sumbitch DJ that if he played that 'Christmas Shoes' crap again, he was going to regret it," said the local man by phone interview yesterday.
Describing the circumstances that caused him to snap, Spears continued: "My internet had been down since I hit the phone line digging a pool in the front yard two weeks ago, so I was forcing myself to listen to regular radio. I usually just turned it down when they played Rascal Fatts or Fartly Gilbert, but it seemed like every other song was that damn weepy-ass feel-good piece of crap. Man, I love Jesus and everything, but f*** me runnin', I want to commit Harry Caray [editorial note: we're sure this is how he would have spelled it] when I hear about mama meeting Him tonight."
Over at WTSM, McGee tells us the Clear Channel affiliated radio station may sue Spears to recoup repair charges and loss of advertising revenue: "I can't understand how a lovely religious holiday song could make a man cause such damage - some folks just aren't wired right, I guess."
NewSong had no comment at press time.
Dec 4, 2018
New Video / The Mavericks / "Santa Wants to Take You For a Ride"
Labels:
Christmas,
New Videos,
The Mavericks
The Crud Report December: Old Dominion, Christmas, Kid Rock, etc.
Labels:
Christmas,
Crud Report,
Fake News,
Kane Brown,
Kid Rock,
Maren Morris,
Neal McCoy,
Old Dominion,
Satire,
Thomas Rhett
Nov 26, 2018
Break Out The Christmas Tree, JD McPherson's Socks is The Best Christmas Record in Forever
Nine times out of ten, I hate Christmas music. Outside of “Blue Christmas” and “The Fairytale of New York,” by the Pogues, which makes me homesick for the dive bars in Chicago filled with Irish folks chatting over shots of Jameson and cold bottles of Miller, I am most definitely not a fan of the genre.
I want to stab my ears out when I hear “All I want for Christmas is You” and every year, they pull Mariah Carey out of her crypt and she gets up there and smiles knowing how much cash she’s about to make for the month.
On JD Mcpherson’s new Christmas record, Socks, I don’t feel that mind-numbing hatred, but in fact, I absolutely love it.
Instead of hokey tunes that feel like you’re trapped in mall-flavored hell, Socks is a refreshing take on a stale genre. I get it, tons of bands, artists, and labels love to cash in at Christmas because fans eat the genre up, but Socks doesn’t come off that way. Instead, it feels like one of McPherson’s records, just done up in red and green lights and tinsel.
What’s cool about Socks is that it’s very much in the spirit of McPherson’s first record, Signs and Signifiers, where the songs feel like they’re straight out of the Little Richard songbook. Nothing on Socks feels like it was written as a throwaway, but instead, he could play them in the middle of June with the same sense of excitement. These are straight up old school-minded rockabilly tunes that well-written and boy do they swing. The vibe is playful and there’s a swing of the hammer that just doesn’t quit.
“All The Gifts I Need,”, “Hey Skinny Santa,”, “Socks,” and “Santa’s Got a Mean Machine,”, all of these songs are total sock hop dancers that you can’t do anything but bounce around to. Socks is the perfect Christmas party record, its loud, fun, and never gets lame.
Basically, let me put it this way: if you can’t put Socks on the turntable or wireless speaker while cooking dinner and not want to do the twist in your socks, you’re a monster. Get out and buy a copy before everyone else finds out about the record, you jolly Santa-themed maverick, you.
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Socks is available on the New West Records store, Amazon, iTunes, Spotify, etc.
Labels:
Album Reviews,
Christmas,
JD McPherson,
Robert Dean
Dec 25, 2017
Merry Christmas from the Farce Family
Labels:
Christmas,
Robert Earl Keen
Dec 24, 2017
Sunday Mornin' Christmas Music: John Berry
Labels:
Christmas,
John Berry,
Sunday Mornin' Music
Dec 23, 2017
Dec 20, 2017
Diehard: Country Reaction Gifs
*One expletive at the bottom.*
When somebody's telling you their love of
country music like Rascal Flatts and Old Dominion
When you park too close to a Brantley Gilbert concert
♪Please help me, I'm falling♪
Don't you think this outlaw bit has done got out of hand?
When somebody brings a Sam Hunt CD
to the party
Jumping into the comments on Luke Bryan's
Facebook page for some trolling like...
Dec 19, 2017
If _____ Wrote a Christmas Song 2017
If Walker Hayes wrote a Christmas song
Need some joy in your stockin'? Well baby I gotcha
It's lit and it's bae and I ain't throwing shade
I Snapped you a clue, Word, hit me up too
We gone be totes chillin' this Christmas day
If Future wrote a Christmas song
You know it's enchanting baby, let it snow
Let it snow, let it snow
We here just waiting on santa, girl, so let it snow
Let it snow, let it snow
If Loretta Lynn wrote a Christmas song
Santa came home smelling like peppermint perfume
Lately he's been losing weight, doing Crossfit too
Heard he's got himself a little elf skank round the way
Well, Mrs. Santa's bout to bust that hussy in the face
If Mark Kozelek wrote a Christmas song
I watched a film about Venezuelan crop dusters
Under a chartreuse blanket on my veranda
Pondering what Belinda said last Christmas day
If Colt Ford wrote a Christmas song
Got that icy mud all up on my GMC
Alpines blasting Run DMC
Christmas in Hollis and Christmas in Macon
Woman at the crib got country ham bakin'
If Lemmy wrote a Christmas song
He's got a whip of leather
Skeleton reindeer crew
Snow or sunny weather
He's coming after you
Satan Clause, Satan Clause,
Watch his black sleigh take flight
Satan Clause, Satan Clause,
Naughty or nice, you'll die tonight
Labels:
Christmas,
Colt Ford,
Future,
Loretta Lynn,
Mark Kozelek,
Motorhead,
parody,
Satire,
Walker Hayes
Dec 18, 2017
More Monday A.M. Christmas Memes: Kermit, Santa, Dickens
Labels:
Christmas,
FGL,
Kermit,
memes,
Robert Earl Keen,
Russell Dickerson,
Satire,
Taste of Country,
Thomas Rhett
Monday Morning Christmas Memes: Sam Hunt, Kenny Rogers, Hank Hill
Labels:
Christmas,
Kenny Rogers,
King of the Hill,
memes,
Sam Hunt,
Satire,
The Christmas Shoes
Dec 17, 2017
Sunday Mornin' Music: The Blind Boys of Alabama
Dec 16, 2017
Saturday Night Music: Spinal Tap "Christmas With the Devil"
Labels:
Christmas,
Saturday Night Music,
Spinal Tap
Dec 15, 2017
The Best Christmas Movie You've Never Seen: Emmet Otter's Jug Band Christmas
By Robert Dean
As the debate rages on over if Die Hard or Gremlins or Edward Scissorhands are Christmas movies, there’s one definite holiday film that’s gone under the radar far too long. A cinematic gem that is appropriately old school in its themes of love, morality, and having a damned good time, Emmet Otter’s Jug band Christmas is the best Christmas movie you’ve never seen.
Almost like a country-fried Wind in The Willows, Emmet Otter’s Jug Band Christmas is an early Jim Henson production. Released in 1978 and loosely based on O. Henry’s The Gift of The Magi, Emmet and his mother live on the river performing a litany of odd jobs. Emmet mends fences or fixes stairs while Ma washes clothes for the town rich folks. She even barters to make pies and sell them. The defining element of Emmet and Ma’s relationship is their love of music. Music is everything to them.
Christmas is fast approaching, but because Emmet and Ma both scrape by, they don’t have any money for gifts. Emmet gets wind from his friends that the town hall is putting on a talent show. His friends broach the idea of starting a jug band. They ask Emmet to join, but he declines because he can’t live with the idea of putting a hole in his mother’s washtub.
Back at home, Ma too hears about the talent show and dreams of buying Emmet a guitar with the prize money. However, she needs a new outfit to sing in; the trouble is, she doesn’t have anything left to hock – except Emmet’s tools, which he inherited from his dead father.
A rambling pack of miscreants attacks a local music store. They smoke cigarettes and love rock and roll. They’re a pack of bad dudes. There’s even a fish.
The allure of the prize money is too much for Emmet and his mother. They each go behind one another’s backs in an effort to win the talent show. Emmet joins the jug band, and Ma gets her fabric, washtub and tool kit be damned. The Jug band is pretty good, and Ma is focused. They all arrive at the talent show, ready to do their best, only both acts lose because the rock and roll wild boys are now a band called The Nightmare and whip out some killer late 70’s hard rock. Does losing the talent show ruin Emmet’s Christmas? You’ll need to watch to find out.
Emmet Otter’s Jug Band Christmas works because it’s almost like the anti-Christmas movie: the neighbors are all out on the grind, Emmet and Ma have the death of Pa hanging over everything, as they continually bring it up, and the songs are weird but awesome. They even sing about BBQ. The Otter family does get screwed over by some local towns ladies, which doesn’t ruin their days, but indeed sucks.
What’s cool about this movie is that Emmet Otter pre-dates a lot of the tropes found in the later Muppets. The story has darker threads and doesn’t rely on sight gags or inside jokes from the Muppet world; The tale keeps Emmet Otter going, not a cameo from Gonzo.
Unlike The Christmas Toy, which is an easily beloved Christmas classic, Emmet Otter and his furry friends live by their wits and sometimes, by their whiskers.
If you’re looking for a new Christmas flick that’s worth watching, give ol’ Emmet a spin. It’s got everything you could ever need in a Christmas movie: fuzzy little otters secretly making terrible life choices, a bullfrog mayor and a hole in the washtub. This cult classic has heart. The songs are catchy as hell and let’s be honest; The Nightmare deserved to win the talent show, fair and square.
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Labels:
Christmas,
Jim Henson,
jug band,
movie reviews,
Robert Dean
Dec 14, 2017
Little Known Facts: Christmas 2017 Edition
Little Known Facts: Christmas 2017 Edition
Little Known Facts: Christmas 2017 Edition
Little Known Facts: Christmas 2017 Edition
If Cole Swindell ran outside naked in a snowstorm, he'd be invisible
Luke Bryan never hangs his stockings by the fireplace because
he’d feel silly wearing his garter belt without them
On the twelfth day of Christmas, Brantley Gilbert realized he couldn’t count that high
Neal McCoy's "Take a Knee, My Ass (I Won't Take a Knee)" was originally about
Game of Thrones' Jon Snow and was titled "Bend the Knee, My Arse (I Shan't Bend the Knee)"
If Sturgill Simpson doesn’t do a Farce The Music
interview we will start a rumor he punched Santa
There is a 100% chance Kenny Chesney will be a fan
of this year's college football playoff champion
The previous fact will be recycled annually for eternity
Justin Moore has lost 75% of his fame since Trailer stopped photoshopping him
on shelves around Christmas (Editor's note: or Scotty McCreery, whichever)
Sturgill Simpson recently punched Santa at a mall. More details to come.
All pictures of Shooter Jennings on a shelf are not Photoshopped
Gary Levox’s New Year’s resolution is to be less awkward in photos
The 2017 Time Magazine Person of the Year is every woman
that has ever recorded ‘Baby it’s Cold Outside’
David Lee Murphy has a song on the country chart. No really, I’m serious about that one.
Asking for more women on country radio and getting Bebe Rexha is like
asking for a Washington outsider to be president and getting... never mind
Every time "Humble and Kind" plays on the radio, Spade Cooley rolls in his grave
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All but 3 of these by Jeremy Harris
Dec 13, 2017
Willie Nelson Christmas Memes
Labels:
Christmas,
memes,
Satire,
Willie Nelson
Dec 12, 2017
I'm Sorry, This Exists: Christmas 2017 Edition
Pondering what to buy your worst enemy, your mother-in-law, your boss this holiday season? Well, maybe this helpful list will include just the thing. These are all real products (and one painting).
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Who wouldn't want this cheap looking,
unauthorized Keith Urban product on their Douglas fir?
Walker Hayes "Good Shit" shades
That's very mature, dad.
Kane Brown ugly Christmas sweater
So you'll know who to avoid at the office Christmas party.
Redneck Crazy truck hitch cover
for when you're parked on your ex's lawn
about to be arrested and served with a restraining order
Thomas Rhett sticker.
Gross, and I bet his wife wouldn't like that.
Old Dominion "Happy Endings" T-shirt
This plays on the stereotype of Asian massage parlors offering up
uh... happy endings. Way to be woke, OD.
which is advertised using Blake Shelton's image but
actually is just a Sexiest Man Alive t-shirt.
I bet the profit margin on these is ridiculous. |
"It's 5 O'clock Somewhere" Novelty Panties
This painting of Garth Brooks looking at a boob.
This actually exists in the year of our Lord 2017.
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