Showing posts with label Coronavirus. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Coronavirus. Show all posts

May 1, 2020

Country Blogger Has Been Social Distancing for Years

The country music blogger Trailer has been prepared for something like this Covid-19 pandemic for years. Now that it has come to pass, he’s in his element and thriving.

Trailer, who runs the satire and review site Farce the Music, says social distancing has been a part of his life for many years now. “Well, since I’m a big, fat, jealous hater, people have never wanted to be around me anyway,” said the reclusive meme maker. The blog is well known for making fun of country artists that the general public loves and adores, lending to Trailer’s outcast nature.

“The biggest problem for me right now is that without new albums, tours, and interviews going on, I don’t have a lot to make fun of,” he said. “Mostly I just go around on YouTube videos calling children and teenagers idiots for liking Kane Brown… it’s pretty fun.” 

The general negativity in society right now is nothing new for Trailer, who spends far more time talking bad about singers he doesn’t like than he does being positive about artists he enjoys. “I bet Luke Bryan is living it up without a worry in the world… the damn sparkeldy skinny jeans wearing poser.” said the spiteful loser, as his mom brought him some more Totino’s Pizza Rolls. 

“I don’t like music to evolve. Genres should stay the same as they were when they were invented, and right now there aren’t any studios open for Florida-Georgia Line to be auto-tuner emo rapping in, and that makes me happy.” laughed the crusty cynic.

At press time, Trailer was grumbling while walking up out of the basement to help his mom with the dishes.

Apr 24, 2020

Americana Band Actually Doing Better Financially During the Pandemic

Tupelo, Mississippi Americana band Natchez Trace is riding out the Covid-19 pandemic in a shared rental house and doing just fine, thank you. In fact, they say things are actually more profitable for them during these uncertain times.

“I was worried, I’ll be honest.” said bassist Lee Sturgeon. “No tour dates, no merch sales, and even our Spotify streaming royalties are down from $1.54 to $1.34 for some reason.” Despite the lack of income, the band, who has opened for the likes of Aaron Lee Tasjan and Nikki Lane, is living high on the hog during this challenging era. 

“We’ve actually gone 22 straight days without our van breaking down,” said lead singer Vance Upton. “The previous record was 4 hours… so we’re saving a lot of money on vehicle maintenance.” “Also, we haven’t had any gear stolen since last Monday. Usually we’re replacing amps and guitars on a pretty much daily basis.” 

Low overhead isn’t the only thing keeping Natchez Trace afloat. “When those stimulus checks hit the bank accounts, we threw a party,” laughed Sturgeon. “$1200 dollars a piece? Man, that’s like six months driving from town to town, playing for 23 people, and sleeping in a rest stop parking lot.” “We’re rich bitch!” yelled Upton in the background. 

So what is Natchez Trace doing during this downtime? “Video games, beer, Netflix, repeat.” said drummer Matthew Chandler. “We might do a live stream or something one of these days but we’re usually too hung over.” 

At press time, Natchez Trace was drunkly considering continuing to not tour after the pandemic is over.

Apr 23, 2020

Ozark Country Reaction Gifs

*some foul language*





When concerts finally return

"Country music has always evolved... purists in the 70s didn't think Willie and Waylon were 'real' country"

Him: What kind of music do you like?
Me: Country mostly
Him: Like Sam Hunt?
Me:

The motto for Loretta Lynn's career

When artists delay their new albums because of the pandemic

Hey, other guy in Florida-Georgia Line...
  
When mom makes you go to a Luke Bryan concert

Insert Dan + Shay joke:

Apr 17, 2020

Luke Combs Performs "Six Feet Apart"

Co-written with Brent Cobb and Rob Snyder (the singer/songwriter, not the actor).

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