Showing posts with label Cross Canadian Ragweed. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Cross Canadian Ragweed. Show all posts

Apr 20, 2022

Still More Overly Politically Correct Country Songs



My Cis-Het Male Parental Unit Doesn’t Speak to a Non-existent Deity Anymore - Chris Stapleton


Dinosaur - Hank Jr.


Waylon on My Willie - Tyler Childers


Elder Bohemian - The Bellamy Brothers


Caucasian-Tonk Person - Dwight Yoakam


I’m Gonna Hire a Person Who Uses Alcohol Unhealthily to Decorate Our Home - David Frizzell


Mt. & Mm. Used to Be - Ernest Tubb / Loretta Lynn


You Misspeak - Reba


(I’m a) Stand by My Person Person - Ronnie Milsap


Romany - Merle Haggard


Consensually Given Physical Pleasure by a Rural Cis Male - Wheeler Walker Jr.


Privileged, Young, Uneducated, Sex Enjoyer - Cross Canadian Ragweed

Mar 17, 2022

Wrasslin' Country Reaction Gifs: Scott Hall Edition

 RIP Bad Guy.

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I'd bet it all on a good run of bad luck

Tryin' to make the way things are
the way things used to be

When you're a Ragweed fan, you're a Ragweed fan

How many times would you rather be punched in the face than go to a Dan + Shay concert?

You bet I wouldn't talk trash to Aldean's face?

When your friend plays some Walker Hayes at the fish fry

Willie Nelson when the IRS penalties hit him

When you can't remember the name of that Lumineers hit

You think we're mean for making fun of pop-country singers you like? 


Jul 30, 2020

Cheers Country Reaction Gifs

Why do you care about other people listening to music you don't think is really country?

When Rebecca Howe says Willie Nelson is a pot-head commie

A typical radio station visit for a female country singer

When somebody plays Florida-Georgia Line on the jukebox

How you can tell a Brantley Gilbert fan just walked in

Lori McKenna is the best songwriter working today

Turnpike! Ragweed! Turnpike! Ragweed!

When Sawyer Brown came on at a party in the early 90s 


Jul 17, 2020

Georgia Touts “Better” Red Dirt Scene

The Georgia Department of Economic Development’s Tourism division is launching a new promotion to bring attention to the state’s country music scene, but they may be stepping on some toes. “Our dirt is redder,” laughed department chair Henry Dix. “And better.”

That’s even the tagline for the advertising campaign, which will appear in major print publications and a nationwide television advertisement. The marketing format seems to claim that Georgia’s “red dirt” music scene is greater than that of the beloved (and much longer lived as an actual scene) Oklahoma network of songwriters and musicians. 

Hank Dix, Tourism Director
Farce the Music spoke with Dix about the Georgia Red Dirt promotion.
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FTM: You’re aware that Oklahoma has had a Red Dirt scene for decades, and that Georgia has never had a music scene by that name?

Dix: Indeed! Otherwise, our motto wouldn’t make sense. Better than what?? Better than Oklahoma, that’s what! And we do really have red dirt.

FTM: Great. So, you’ve either just copied the nomenclature from an existing format of music, or pulled it out of your a** and expect it to take? You can’t give yourself a nickname.

Dix: Think of it as “giving that name a better home.” Good artists copy, great artists steal… as they say. If you look at it by pure sales, our scene dwarfs theirs in every category. Thus, we plan to trademark the term, and possibly allow them to continue its use in lower case. 

FTM: That’s some shady dealing there, but all’s fair in business it seems. You say your artists sell better. Who, exactly, are you considering to be “Red Dirt” in the Georgia music scene?

Dix: Have you ever heard of Luke Bryan? I thought so. That man alone has sold more albums and concert tickets than nearly every ragweed from Oklahoma combined. Oh, and we claim half of Florida-Georgia Line too. Just half their sales puts us over the entirety of their artists when added to Bryan’s sales. Then there’s Brantley Gilbert, a more humble and soulful songwriter than ever existed in Still Waters. 
FTM: It’s “Stillwater.” And hold up. You’re claiming national artists who have already made it in the mainstream as “Red Dirt” artists? 

Dix: And why not? They’re from here, many still live here, and they play here once or twice a year on tour. They bring more to our economy than Stoney LaDue ever brought to that dust bowl.

FTM: Gross. And it’s “LaRue.” You don’t even know what a music scene is, do you? 

Dix: Music evolves, terminology evolves. They’re just jealous. Justin Boland couldn’t shine Colt Ford’s boots. 

FTM: It’s “Jason” Boland. And their scene isn’t about platinum sales and laser shows and dancing at concerts. It’s about integrity and the love of music. You’re making a mockery of the name Red Dirt.

Dix: I’ll tell you about mockery. Nobody ever heard of 90% of their so-called artists. If music isn’t popular, it isn’t good. It’s about the bottom line, not well-written lines. Who the hell are the Red Dirt Rangers, LMAO (he said this aloud)? Are they some redneck Power Rangers? And the Turnrow Troubadours? LOL (again, said out loud), they got Yoko’d before they could even sell out Bridgestone. 

FTM: That’s offensive, and I’ve heard enough, and it’s “Turnpike.” You are an idiot.

Dix: And a good day to you too, sir! Before I go, everybody make sure to check out our up and coming Red Dirt® artists Sam Hunt, Jason Aldean, and Thomas Rhett!!

FTM: F**k off.
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At press time, Oklahoma’s Red Dirt scene had just claimed Garth Brooks, and taken the lead in the sales category.


May 17, 2019

Top Gun Country Reaction Gifs

Florida-Georgia Line? I stopped to pee there one time...

When you overhear somebody actually say out loud that Kane Brown is their favorite country singer

Country music has to evolve?

When you're confident in your sexuality and bond with your homie over Kacey Musgraves' music

Why do you love bluegrass so much?

♫ I'm leaving on a jet plane 
  
When she hears that you're a Bucky Covington fan

New Tyler Childers album on the way???

♫ I ain't no holy roller so I just use a bong 

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