Carl Outlaw, Real Country Fan Reviews Walker Hayes "You Broke Up With Me"

Walker Hayes - You Broke Up With Me

Been a while, but I'm back to review yet another stupid ass mainstream country song. This one looks like a doozie. I say 'looks like' because their ain't no way in hell I'm listening to a song with lyrics about swagger and crashin' parties. There ain't nothing country music about being a hip hopping white boy. 

I looked this dude up on Google and he's old. Like what the hell? I'm 12 years younger then him and I don't even understand half of the lyrics. I would have to hit up Urban Dictionary for that. I half expect one of these lines to be secretly about a sexual encounter featuring a roll bar and a can of Axe.

This ain't called country, It's called commercialism Pretty music same thing with rap-so called music. This modern music is for the dump.

I'm tired of people ruining MY DAMN COUNTRY music. I went to a Shooter Jennings concert the other night and he had a keyboard up on stage. As soon as I seen it, I put my jacket back on, walked out the door and pissed on his tour bus. Damn sell out, even he's going liberal loony left snowflake like Brad Pasely. There not just messing up country there messing up are country!

It's a fact country music is dead been dead for a wile all we have now are ball cap wearing want to b rappers that suck. Accept if you no wear to look! I've got plenty of real BY GOD country music on my phone like Hank 3, Dick Scratch and the Shriveled Nutsacks, and David Alan Cole!!! 

So let's all get together and call this "song" what it is. A big old pile of shit. 

This Will Ruin Your Day

Really, Radio Disney Country???

*foul language ahead*

This is not appropriate for kids, nor is it country. 

Get your shit together, Radio Disney.

So, what's next?

Top 10 Conspiracies Shooter Jennings Can Cover Next

 

To celebrate the release of the Black Ribbons Ultimate Edition, Shooter Jennings has been running a podcast recently called Beyond the Black. In it he discusses the conspiracy-minded topics covered on that dystopian album. Jeremy counted down the best topics Shooter can cover on future episodes!

(and it's a top 11)

Top 11 Upcoming Topics For 

Shooter Jennings' Beyond The Black Podcasts

11. David Allan Coe was never picked up by the ghost of Hank Williams. 

10. All Colt Ford songs are secretly written about independent wrestler Die Hard Tom McClane. 

9. Bambi's mom was an inside job. 

8. Earl Thomas Conley schedules his tour dates around the Seattle Seahawks schedule. Coincidence?

7. 'Walking Dead' scenes that show destroyed urban areas are actually drone footage from outdoor bro-country concerts. 

6. The earth is a simulation created by Richard Garriott.

5. Randy Quaid and Gary Levox have never been seen together. Tune in to find out why. 

4. Proof that Sturgill Simpson is actually a reptile alien made of light. 

3. Detroit was booming until Kid Rock went country. The connection is there!

2. Two members of Jackson Taylor's band are NOT sinners. 

1. Billy Ray Cyrus died in a rollerblading accident and was saved when doctors working as consultants on the show 'Doc' stole Elvis' brain and implanted it into his head. The show was cancelled shortly after because he constantly wanted to sing 'Love Me Tender' during every episode. (This title may need to be shortened before airing the show)

-by Jeremy Harris

Least Likely Albums: Willie, Kane Brown, FGL, etc.

Don't Bring Kane Brown Down

Monday Morning Memes: Kelsea Ballerini, Coe, Paycheck, FGL, etc.

Don't Luke the Jukebox

 "Don't Luke The Jukebox"
(Parody of Alan Jackson's "Don't Rock the Jukebox")

Don't Luke the jukebox
I'd rather hear some Coe
My ears ain't ready
For a dancing bro
I don't feel like shakin'
Or kickin' up some dust
So don't Luke the jukebox
Cause he really sucks

Before you punch that button
Best be thinking twice
You got a cranky hillbilly
Givin' mad dog eyes
I'm in the mood for country
Not that new school mess
Before you crash my party
Could I make one request

Don't Luke the jukebox
I'd rather hear some Strait
Son, I've been drinking
And I might get irate
I don't feel like shakin'
Or kickin' up some dust
So don't Luke the jukebox
Cause he really sucks

Man I like hip-hop
I like rock and roll
But when Luke Bryan starts singing
Just don't hear any soul
Ain't nothin' like Stapleton
Waylon or Jerry Lee
Before you waste your money brother
Do one thing for me

Don't Luke the jukebox
I'd rather hear some Cash
I don't like fighting
But I'd whip your ass
I might be a buzzkill
But I'mma tell you what
Don't Luke the jukebox
Cause he really sucks

And yes, of course, we have an actual t-shirt like that for you to purchase if so desired. :)

There's also a black ink design.

Monday Morning Memes: Aldean, Gilbert, FGL, Coe

WWExperience Country Reaction Gifs 6: Sam Hunt, Rascal Flatts, etc.

When you're making fun of country music, 

but you're still more country than Sam Hunt

When your friend tells everybody that you 

own Rascal Flatts' entire discography

When somebody challenges you on your knowledge of country music history

When you love David Allan Coe, but you also got moves

When you're drunk and get a little too amped about Chris Stapleton's encore

When you hear FGL is coming to your town

When Randy Houser attends the Star Wars convention 

and can't see out of his cosplay helmet

Coexist? Nah, Coe-exist

Country Singer Anagrams III

an·a·gram

ˈanəˌgram/

noun

a word, phrase, or name formed by rearranging the letters of another, such as cinema, formed from iceman.

A Word From David Allan Coe

Country Day Parody Covers July '14 Pt. 4: Micky & the Motorcars, Coe, Tim McGraw

Country Day April '14 Part 1: Dustin Lynch, DAC, etc.

Monday Morning Memes: True Detective, Thomas Rhett, etc.

Country Day Parody Covers Feb. '14 Part 3: Conway, DAC, Granger Smith, etc.