Showing posts with label Hank Sr.. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Hank Sr.. Show all posts

Jun 15, 2018

Keith Urban Vandalizes Country Music Hall of Fame


Country music superstar Keith Urban was arrested Thursday for causing nearly two million dollars worth of damage at Nashville's Country Music Hall of Fame. Urban, 50,  was booked on charges of felony vandalism, trespassing, and destruction of property. He was released after posting $250,000 bail. A court hearing is scheduled for June 20.

Witnesses say they were surprised to see Urban strolling through the facility alone. That wasn't the strangest thing they'd see. "A few people immediately recognized him and were crowding around for autographs," said museum guest Carl Jenkins. "I thought it was weird he was out in public without security… and he was wearing this big whop-sided backpack with box-cutters and stuff falling out of it."

Carl said Urban took a ball-peen hammer from his pack and asked the surrounding crowd to please excuse him. "He climbed over the barrier and smashed the shit out of Hank Williams Sr's guitar," said Jenkins. "It was crazy, there wasn't nothing left but wire and sawdust when he was through."

Urban then defaced at least 15 of the bas relief Hall of Fame member plaques, including Fred Rose, Tammy Wynette, and Don Schlitz, spray painting such things as phalluses and the word "fart" across them. He also sprayed deer scent all over the iconic "Will the Circle Be Unbroken" inscription with a Super Soaker water gun. 

Before leaving the Hall, Urban also hurled DeFord Bailey's harmonica down a hallway, poured a kale smoothie on several Nudie suits, and cut all the fringe off one of Patsy Cline's outfits. 

Museum staff and security never intervened during Urban's rampage because they thought he was just 'pushing the boundaries of his art or filming a prank show or something.' When all was said and done, however, the Kiwi country guitar slinger had caused real and lasting damage on country's hallowed halls. Urban was taken into custody without incident at his home later that evening. 

While neither Urban nor his wife Nicole Kidman could be reached for comment, Keith's manager told us he doesn't expect Keith's reputation or career to take a hit over the situation because he's very handsome and such a good guitar player.


Apr 2, 2018

Monday Memes: Let's Get Obvious!



First off all, I think these popular country memes are stupid. I didn't start them and I won't retweet them or post them on our Facebook page.


That kind of stuff's way too obvious for me. I like satire and weird, twisted humor. That's why we'll never have millions of followers too, but that's a story for another day. Anyway, here are my own versions of the currently viral "Obvious Country Music Lyric Memes."










Apr 26, 2017

Hashtag Games: #smellycountrymusic



Did another "hashtag game" on Twitter yesterday and here are the results. 
The theme was #smellycountrymusic
I came up with most of them this time around, so it's clear I have the mind of a twelve year old.
-------------------------------------------------------------------

Thomas Retch

"Head Over Poots" by Jon Farti

"Wanna Be That Pong"

"Your Cheatin' Fart" @JVsFillnStation

"Body Odor Like a Back Road"

"I Fall in Feces"

"Stinkin' Problem" (Midland) @countrymindblog

"Fulsome Prison Blues"

"Too Much Funk" (Daryle Singletary)

Pollute Bryan

"Does Right Guard Ever Cross Your Mind?"

"Mama's Broken Fart" @gradywsmith

Stank Williams Jr.

"On the Commode Again"

Reba Burning-Tire @dgoble83

"Blame it on Your Shart"

Jason Piss-smell

"Craps That Burn" (Thomas Rhett) @DHWritesCountry

"Dirt Road Diarrhea"

"My Shoes Keep Smelling Up The House" (Ray Price) @mattbrucker20

Rascal Flatulence

"Turds All the Way Down" (Sturgill) @Dennis_Petee

"Don't You Think This Outhouse Stench Has Done Got Out of Hand"

"Baby's Got Her Blue Waffle On"* @ohbuffalo
*FTM is not responsible for eyesight ruined or jobs lost due to Google searching this; just don't.*

"Turd Load Anthem"

"Some Girls Poo" (Sawyer Brown) @andythedrifter

Yucky Covington

"Redneck Crotch Club"

Oct 6, 2016

Top 10 Conspiracies Shooter Jennings Can Cover Next

 

To celebrate the release of the Black Ribbons Ultimate Edition, Shooter Jennings has been running a podcast recently called Beyond the Black. In it he discusses the conspiracy-minded topics covered on that dystopian album. Jeremy counted down the best topics Shooter can cover on future episodes!

(and it's a top 11)

Top 11 Upcoming Topics For 
Shooter Jennings' Beyond The Black Podcasts

11. David Allan Coe was never picked up by the ghost of Hank Williams. 

10. All Colt Ford songs are secretly written about independent wrestler Die Hard Tom McClane. 

9. Bambi's mom was an inside job. 

8. Earl Thomas Conley schedules his tour dates around the Seattle Seahawks schedule. Coincidence?

7. 'Walking Dead' scenes that show destroyed urban areas are actually drone footage from outdoor bro-country concerts. 

6. The earth is a simulation created by Richard Garriott.

5. Randy Quaid and Gary Levox have never been seen together. Tune in to find out why. 

4. Proof that Sturgill Simpson is actually a reptile alien made of light. 

3. Detroit was booming until Kid Rock went country. The connection is there!

2. Two members of Jackson Taylor's band are NOT sinners. 

1. Billy Ray Cyrus died in a rollerblading accident and was saved when doctors working as consultants on the show 'Doc' stole Elvis' brain and implanted it into his head. The show was cancelled shortly after because he constantly wanted to sing 'Love Me Tender' during every episode. (This title may need to be shortened before airing the show)

-by Jeremy Harris

Jun 16, 2016

Killers, Open Country, and Gun Smoke: Robert Dean’s The Red Seven Playlist

Farce the Music contributor Robert Dean is not only our resident gonzo reviewer of all things punk, hardcore, and Americana, he's also an author. His novel The Red Seven (which I'm about to start reading) is a "Southern Gothic western" full of violence, revenge, and intrigue. Here, he provides a soundtrack (and a Spotify playlist!) for his book. -Trailer

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When you write a book, you’re alone, like all the time. You spend so many hours locked away; it’s just you, your thoughts and many times, the music. Music is central to my creative process. It means the world to me. I’m always thinking about music, about what a song means, how it feels, the texture of the song to the moment.

When I wrote The Red Seven, I tried to capture a spirit. I wanted the main hombre, The Ghost to be ruthless, but I wanted to give him gravitas – a sense that he thrived in chaos. I listened to music that had guts, soul – stuff that held weight in its hands.

The Ghost, along with the villains of the book aren’t paper tigers, they’re layered characters. Music helped visualize and give flaws to some of them. Maybe it was a nod to Keith Richards, or a twang of Otis Rush – all of it’s in there, in the words. 

The Red Seven isn’t just about revenge and killing; it’s about the human experience and what loss does to someone. It’s about how losing someone you love in senseless was changes how you function, how you feel. That’s at the heart of The Red Seven. Is it a fast paced page turner? Hell yeah, it is. But, it’s all got moments of reality that even though they’re from back in the day, those moments never change – they’re everlasting because we’re human, and the animalistic spirit never leaves us. Whether fucking or fighting, we revert; it’s in our DNA. That’s a symbolic way to look at The Ghost – stalking with purpose. 

This playlist I’ve created reflects my moods when creating the book when creating this world. I’m not wild about contemporary music invading a time and place in the past. But, this playlist represents what the book feels like. What the scenes feel like. What bars, what sex, what violence sounds like. I wanted to take a musical journey and take the readers of the book along for the ride. So, if you’ve got an ache for a new book to read, pick up a copy of The Red Seven and pop on this playlist. Maybe you’ll see some shades you’d never imagined while driving deep into a vicious world.

Please check out my Spotify playlist. I spent a shitload of time on this.



~Robert Dean


Vengeance Gonna Be My Name – Slackeye Slim
Wayfaring Stranger - Jack White
Can the Circle be Unbroken – The Carter Family
Lungs - Townes Van Zandt
I Saw The Light- Hank Williams
Sins Of My Father – Tom Waits
Sleepwalk - Santo and Johnny
To be Treated Right - Terry Reid
A Whiter Shade Of Pale - Procol Harum
Midnight Rider – The Allman Brothers
Death Letter Blues -Son House
Loving Cup – Rolling Stones
‪I Can’t Quit you Baby - Otis Rush

‪It Wasn't God Who Made Honky Tonk Angels – Kitty Wells
Nights in White Satin – The Moody Blues
Loan Me A Dime - Boz Scaggs & Duane Allman
Rollin’ and Tumblin’ - Elmore James
First Time I Met The Blues – Buddy Guy
Machine Gun - Jimi Hendrix
Angel Flying Too Close to The Ground – Willie Nelson
Life By The Drop - Doyle Bramhall


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