Showing posts with label JR's Songwriting Tips. Show all posts
Showing posts with label JR's Songwriting Tips. Show all posts

Dec 2, 2009

John Rich's Songwriting Tips #23

Learn the rules so you can break them. Find out the generally accepted song forms, then you can change 'em up a little and still have it be mediocre enough to interest Nashville folks. This "learn 'em to break 'em" rule is a good maxim for everyday life as well: When you're sober, figure out where the traps usually are so later you can get to' up and still make it home without having to say the alphabet backwards if you know what I mean. Get your wife used to you coming in at 12 so she'll start drifting off about that time, then you can slip around up past 2 (Tiger ain't learned shiyatt). That's enough help. Figure this stuff out yourself. It took me years to get this pimpin' in the songwriting and sack shaking games.


Not actually written by John Rich.

Nov 18, 2009

John Rich's Songwriting Tips #22

The key to creating a memorable title or line is to take a common phrase and twist it. For instance: "four on the floor," a cool way to describe a four-speed manual transmission can be used thusly:
"Had my GTO rollin', girl said "you wanna score?"
Stopped so damn fast, that car had whore on the floor"
Or "the man in the moon" can become "the man in the poon" for a song about making sweet love. It's that simple. Write on beeatches!

Nov 5, 2009

John Rich's Songwriting Tips #21

A question from e-mail.

Bret in northern California asks: "John, in the songwriting world, does it pay to be an asshole in every case, or just your own?"

Bret, I can't answer for everyone, but in life you have got to be aggressive and go after what you want. Doesn't matter who you step on during the climb if you know there's no way in hell you're coming back down. Wait, did you just call me an asshole? You m***** f*****, I'm having your I.P. address traced and coming to your damn house. You piece of sh*t! You're gonna be tasting steel toe from the wrong direction.


Not actually written by John Rich.

Nov 4, 2009

John Rich's Songwriting Tips #20

I've heard some people say that you should keep a journal or some mess like that to write in every day. I call bullshit. A journal? That sounds kinda fruity to me. I just make sure to carry a pen with me so I can write at any given moment. Maybe you're having a five o'clock cocktail and you get a hook idea... just write it on the bar napkin. Or possibly you're enjoying an after-supper whiskey and Coke and you think of a great bridge, just scrawl it on one of those little cardboard coasters. Midnight Jägerbomb give you a great chorus for that hook you wrote earlier? Whip out your pen and finish up. So to summarize: journal = not straight.

Not actually written by John Rich.

Oct 12, 2009

John Rich's Songwriting Tips #19

You need to think ahead of the curve. Right now, I'm thinking about all those scoundrels crossing the southern border of our great United States and while they are illegals and should be shot on sight, if they do happen to get into the land of milk and honeys, they will one day be consumers. It is well known that the Mexicans like pop and country music. We in Nashville have not yet appealed to that interest. I have written many songs lately that use Mexicano imagery and ideals, for example: one song is about stealing cars and eating refried beans. This is a vast untapped source for money, I mean, music. The Mexicans are coming so keep your eyes on the horizon. And your wallet.


Not actually written by John Rich.

Sep 28, 2009

John Rich's Songwriting Tips #18

Another e-mail question. Robert in Arizona wants to know "Why do you pander to the lowest common denominator in regards to the listening audience? Is simple songwriting just the most feasible way to make money in the current country music climate or are you actually that unintelligent?"

Okay Robert, I uh, I'll try to figure out what you're talking about, but I'm not that good at math. Pretty sure I got an F on the test about denominators. Those are like fractions, right? Wait, did you just call me stupid? You worthless steaming pile of longhorn sh*t. I'll put my boot so far up your *ss you won't be able to say all those five dollar words without a working knowledge of sign language. F*** you!

*Not actually written by John Rich.

Sep 20, 2009

John Rich's Songwriting Tips #16 & 17

#16 Try not to get hooked up with a writer or performer who has wildly different ideals than you. I mean, say for instance, you're a party hard, rockstar, jet flying, limo riding outspoken pimp who's on the Republican side (the right side)... you might not want to team up with a long haired, nice guy, peacenik, hippie dippie, lovin' everybody, helping the poor liberal kinda dude. Again, that's just a theoretical example, but when they say opposites attract... well maybe, but it can make for some damn frustrating songwriting and some spotty output. Not that I'd know about any of that.

--------------------------

#17 It's only okay to experiment when you do so with an eye on whatever styles are cool in the mainstream at the time. When we did "Save a Horse," rap was popular. When we put out "Big Time," songs that didn't become hits were the in-thing. We released "Comin' to Your City" when godawful tunes that could be used as annoying sporting event anthems were all the rage. Keep your finger on the pulse of what's hot. I keep my fingers all up in it. On my next album, I'm all about the autotuner.

Aug 27, 2009

John Rich's Songwriting Tips #14 & 15

Any pub is good pub. If anybody lives by that creed, it's yours truly... the Cowboy Stevie Wonder. As a songwriter, it's your job not only to write the best songs, but to make your name stick in the heads of song pitchers, label heads, other writers, skanks on the street and up-and-coming artists. Some methods of branding yourself include: arson, clever hooks, profanity filled phone tirades, middle finger salutes, positive (Conservative) message filled songs, assault and many other meaningful ways of ingratiating yourself to the Nashville community.
____________________________

You can't climb the mountains if you stay in Buckfart, Georgia. You gotta move where the damn mountains are. By that fine bit of symbology, I mean to say to you, if you want to get songs cut, you go where they're getting cut. Nashvegas baby! This is where the magic happens. Well, the real magic happens in my king size feather bed with the mirrors on the ceiling, but you know what I mean. Sure, half the population of this town is songwriters, but never mind that, get your shiny white hiney here. My bar needs more patrons - songwriters drowning their sorrows because they should've stayed their asses in Buckfart, Georgia. Ha!


*Not actually written by John Rich.

Aug 17, 2009

John Rich's Songwriting Tips #13

Clichés, smichés. They're well known because they're true. Get as famous as me, and you can write whatever trite, overused themes and lines in a song you danged well care to. If you want to put in a line about a "mansion on a hill" or "crankin' Hank" or have grandpa give some advice just before he breathes his last Marlboro tinged breath while seraphim are circling over his friggin' head just before the final chorus, do it. Well, not you... but me. I can.

*Not actually written by John Rich.

Aug 6, 2009

John Rich's Songwriting Tips #12

The hook is the thing. It needs to be strong, rememorable and marketable. Especially that last thing. If you ain't got a sharp hook, you ain't got shee-it. My hooks have brought me great wealth and that has led to great refinement and sophistication. #1 songs, hoochie mamas, fur coats, you name it, I've had it, I'll get it or I don't want it. It's also good to have a nice right hook when you're in my position of superiority. Sometimes you gotta keep fools in check.

Jul 14, 2009

John Rich's Songwriting Tips #11

Save your "Bluebird songs" for ... hell, don't write 'em. If it ain't broad enough to land a 757 on that sumbitch, it ain't worth the effort. Don't mess with cutesy stories, multi-syllabic rhymes... or multi-syllabic words for that matter. And complicated concepts never sold a record in Nashvegas baby. Let Gaydiohead tackle that crap. The only message I wanna convey is the one Lulu in Bessemer, Alabama wants to hear droning in the background of her puke green 1999 Nissan Quest while she's running to the Little Caesar's to pick up a nutritious supper for her three fat younguns. Always remember: KISS - Keep it simple sh*thead.


*Not actually written by John Rich.

Jun 22, 2009

John Rich's Songwriting Tips #10


Leave your politics at the door of the writing room. Famous people always think they should use their stage for a soapbox. Nobody wants to hear what incorrect liberal thoughts Bruce Springstink has about the fine previous administration or hear what vile venom Fatalie Maines is spouting this week. Just because Obama is doing a terrible job with the economy and basically everything else, you'll never hear it from me in a song I write or sing.. or anytime else. Shut the blue-green hell up and act, or sing, or whatever the crap you do.


Not actually written by John Rich.

Jun 2, 2009

John Rich's Songwriting Tips #9

Keep it in the pocket. Today's country audience doesn't want to hear about giving a girl the ol' one eyed monster, even if that's what's on your mind. Soccer mom Madison wants to hear how wrong she was done by her ex husband (in a humorous manner of course). She wants to hear about love and thinking back to teenage days and drinking wine from a Dixie cup. Not about how your last threesome went awry when one of the parties turned out to be a Bobbi with a "y." Safe: God, pie, beer, mama. Not safe: herpes, rope burns, naked slap fights.

Not actually written by John Rich.

May 20, 2009

John Rich's Songwriting Tips #8

Another email question: Lisa in Ft. Worth asks "What do I have to do for you publish one of my songs?" 

Lisa, that's some aggressive marketing there. They say it's who you know... and "know" has multiple meanings. Could you send me a few snapshots and a scan of your drivers license, baby? That sh*t gets me in trouble a lot. Back to the question... I'll give your song a listen while we um, talk, and if there's a good payoff, then yes, I'll sign you to a single song contract. But don't call me after that.


Not actually written by John Rich.

May 13, 2009

John Rich's Songwriting Tips #7

Name dropping is a time honored tradition in Nashville. Familiarity breeds commerce. Cash makes cash. Paycheck... damn right, paycheck! Hell, I've named whole songs after famous people who were not even mentioned outside the hook line. It don't matter. You want to have Dave Coe in a love song, go the hell ahead. He probably loved some girl one night.

May 3, 2009

John Rich's Songwriting Tips #6

Subtlety is a tool for artsy fartsy, liberal sissies and haters of America. Figure out your message and whop your listener crossways upside the head with it! Keep it simple so the dummies pay the moneys. If you wanna be like Surfjohn Steven or whoever and tour in a van and live in a mud hut, go on ahead with your bad self. Keep your artistic integrity or whatever. But if you want an offensively large house and bling and a life of class and sophistication like mine, do as I do and say.

Not actually written by John Rich.

Apr 21, 2009

John Rich's Songwriting Tips #5

Go out and live a little before you start writing. You gotta have a well of experience to pull the bucket up from. You know, kiss a few... hundred... young girls. Burn a few dozen bridges. Make some embarrassing comments on television and radio. Bust a few bottles over sumbitches' teeth. Humiliate and assault people who seek your attention. Alienate friends, associates and those living unnatural lifestyles. Then come back to your pen and paper and tell your story. STDs push MP3s, baby.

Not actually written by John Rich

Apr 6, 2009

John Rich's Songwriting Tips #4

A question from email: Jason D. in North Carolina asks "What's the best way to deal with rejection when pitching songs?" Well, Jason that's a pretty good question I guess. Rejection is well... naw you didn't, man, you've got a big ol' swinging ballsack assuming I've ever been rejected. Every damn song I've ever written or co-written has not only been cut, but gone to number one on all the benchmark charts. Why in the f*** did you ask me that? What's your cell number? You son of a b*tch. Do you know who I am? I've never been rejected as far as you know. I can't believe this. Ike or Bas will be in contact. -JR


Not actually written by John Rich.

Mar 26, 2009

JR's Songwriting Tip of the Week #3

You need to think about who you're writing for - the singer or group that will perform it. Like when I wrote "Mississippi Girl" for Faith Hill, which was like, her massive #1 comeback song... anyway, I knew my subject... she's a lil country girl from Star, Mississippi, where they only wear ballcaps and frequently ride their kids around on their backs because there's nothing else to do. And Faith's career had fallen off so bad, man, she was probably on her way to working at a nail salon or something until I brought her back onto the map. -JR


Not actually written by John Rich. Please don't assault me, John.

Mar 18, 2009

JR's Songwriting Tip of the Week #2







Man, you gotta live the song. That's the only way you can get to the meat of it and make people believe you're living the same life they are. Like "Shutting Detroit Down" which is currently knocking on the door of the top 10 at this very moment as we speak... I'm as pissed as the next red-blooded American about all these rich smartass guys screwing around and doing as they please and getting away with it. Lost jobs? I'm there buddy... I got fired from mowing the local park when I was in high school and Lord almighty that sucked! -JR

(Not actually written by John Rich)

LinkWithin

Related Posts with Thumbnails