Farce the Music: Jerrod Niemann

Showing posts with label Jerrod Niemann. Show all posts

Jul 10, 2014

Country TwitterFAIL: July '14

*if you think he's the best, why can't you be bothered to spell his name right?

Jul 3, 2014

Little Known Facts: July '14

By Trailer and Jeremy Harris

If you don't use American made fireworks to celebrate Independence Day,

Toby Keith will come to your house and put a boot up your ass.

Chase Rice's college football career was cut short due to an injury sustained in a tragic keg stand mishap.

Scott Borchetta doesn't mind if you question his business decisions and ethics,

but if you say one word about his perm he will end you.

The average Luke Bryan fan can type 49 werds per minute.

Jerrod Niemann wants you to know that it was his record label's idea to release "Donkey."

In fact, he didn't even want it on the album. In fact, that's not even him singing on the track.

Seriously, guys.

Colt Ford is a really nice guy until you remind him that his music completely sucks ass.

Tim McGraw wants you to know that it was his record label's idea to release "Lookin' for That Girl." In fact…

Justin Moore only drinks top shelf liquor, unless he's alone and can't reach it.

Martina McBride stopped doing festival dates with bro-country acts

because their fans would all wave American flags during "Independence Day."

In a recent competition to find country music's best looking beard,

Whitey Morgan came in second behind Miranda Lambert.

Kenny Chesney once broke up a clothes-ripping brawl between Faith Hill and Shania Twain

backstage at the CMAs. Said Ronnie Dunn, who witnessed the whole thing, "Chesney's a dumbass."

New country artist Walker Chase Blake hopes to stand out from the crowd with his new rap-tinged

single "Blah blah something about kisses at night or whatever."

Johnny Cash had an amazing collection of 19th century guns and antique books.

Brantley Gilbert has a pretty sweet collection of glass pipes and Juggs magazines.

Jul 2, 2014

Jerrod Niemann Wants You to Forget

Jun 29, 2014

Ding Dong, the Donkey's Dead

Jerrod Niemann's horrendous "Donkey" has apparently been pulled from radio and Arista will try

to pretend it never happened with "Buzz Back Girl" on July 14.

Jun 26, 2014

Jun 25, 2014

For the second week in a row, "Donkey" has had either a loss or no gain in airplay. One more and it's gone. Keep your fingers crossed. Even mainstream listeners have some level of standards, apparently.

Jun 23, 2014

Monday Morning Memes: Drunk Luke Fan, Chase Rice, etc.

Jun 19, 2014

Jerrod Niemann: Firm in His Convictions

Jun 16, 2014

Being Mean to Jerrod Niemann Again

Monday Morning Memes: Luke Bryan, FGL, Donkey

Jun 11, 2014

Nashville: A Drinking Town With a Country Problem

*And this is not an exhaustive list...

Jun 4, 2014

Little Known Facts: June '14

Brantley Gilbert says the greatest inspirations for his vocal style are

Christian Bale's Batman, 60-grit sandpaper, and hemorrhoids.

Despite his religion-questioning and open-minded lyrics, Sturgill Simpson actually

attends Larry Lee the Primitive Baptist's church several times a year.

Webster's dictionary defines a one-man-band as an individual that can not

properly do one of the four things needed to be an entertainer well, so they do five things at once.

A Tijuana Mexico newspaper recently named Jerrod Niemann

"public enemy number one" due to his single "Donkey" giving donkeys a bad name.

The same night that Luke Bryan fell off the stage,

Tim McGraw fell through an air conditioner vent on stage.

The Devil has reported a 99% increase in music battle victories

in the state of Georgia over the last three years.

Randy Houser did'nt approve of this fact but he did proofread it.

Rolling Stone Country recently interviewed Tom Arnold and asked him

who his favorite country singer was. He replied "Nobody is

better than Sturgill Simpson but I can most relate with Blake Shelton."

Carrie Underwood and Miranda Lambert's "Something Bad" was originally

the winner of a "Write a Song Even Aerosmith Wouldn't Cut" contest in 1998.

'We Hate Pop Country' did not write this fact, but they may adapt it into a meme in the future.

Chad Kroeger of Nickleback currently has pending lawsuits against twelve

of the top 25 artists on the Billboard country charts for copyright infringement.

In a recent interview Shooter Jennings stated that he has always looked up to Little Jimmy Dickens.

In 2009 Tyler Farr caught laryngitis. He still has it.

Brantley Gilbert also caught something that year.

-------

Most of these by Jeremy Harris.