Showing posts with label Johnny Paycheck. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Johnny Paycheck. Show all posts

Oct 25, 2016

Farce the Music Halloween Playlist


 Here's a new Halloween "mixtape" for 2016, featuring 20 creepy-ass country, 
Americana, and rock tunes for your listening displeasure. Spotify playlist below.

The "track listing"

1. The Pine Box Boys - It's Comfy in My Coffin
2. Joe Buck Yourself - When Evil Comes to Town
3. Danzig - N.I.B.
4. Johnny Paycheck - (Pardon Me) I've Got Someone to Kill
5. 16 Horsepower - Low Estate
6. Lonesome Wyatt & Rachel Brooke - Evil One
7. Willie Nelson - Gravedigger
8. The Goddamn Gallows - 7 Devils
9. Type O Negative - Black No. 1 (Little Miss Scare-All)
10. Graham Lindsey - Death Trip Blues
11. King Diamond - Welcome Home
12. Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds - Long Black Veil
13. Rob Zombie - Superbeast (Kraddy Remix)
14. Johnny Cash - Thirteen
15. Lincoln Durham - Bones
16. Ralph Stanley - O Death
17. Marilyn Manson - I Have to Look Up Just to See Hell
18. Th' Legendary Shack Shakers - Agony Wagon
19. Alice Cooper - Sick Things (Live)
20. Rachel Brooke - Knoxville Girl


Oct 16, 2014

A Self-Aware Bro Country Song


Get Down and Turn Up
(© 2014 FTM Satire)

Hotties with bodies
Shakin' gyratin'
Binge drinking their way through this song
Jager and Jagger
Haggard and swagger
Yeah, I got my signifiers on

Crank up this song about cranking up songs
About parties in trucks while you party in trucks
This next line is dumb but you'll sing along
Yeah oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah
Get down and turn up
Get down and turn up

Drink and drink faster
Pass out in pastures
Have a great time you underage kids
Paycheck and Jay-Z
Drive while you're tipsy
Instagram so folks know you did

Crank up this song about cranking up songs
About parties in trucks while you party in trucks
This next line is dumb but you'll sing along
Uh huh uh huh uh huh uh huh
Get down and turn up
Get down and turn up

Bridge
The bridge is for sexy
So girls drop them panties
This night's so enchanted
Moonlight on your fanny

While you crank up this song about cranking up songs
About parties in trucks while you party in trucks
This next line is filler but you'll sing along
Way oh way oh way oh way oh
Get down and turn up
Get down and turn up

Apr 25, 2013

Larry Lee the Primitive Baptist Reviews: Casey Donahew Band - Go To Hell










Casey Donahew Band - Go To Hell
Listen here if ye dare.

Children of the Lord, this song is a laundry list of sin and despair.
Behold all the evils the Casey Donahew Band sells to its fans:
Drunkenness
Sexual impropriety
Foul language
Spite
Threats of violence
Hate
Facebooking
Crime
Revenge
More drunkenness

Sinners
Really, Mr. Donahew? Are you aware that it won't be long after that "phone call to your ex to remind her to go to Hades" that you won't be long following her (if in fact she is not saved by the blood). You have logged into Satan's version of Expedia and reserved a room, son. It won't be a 5 star, it won't even be a 1 star. It will be a 3 by 3 cinder block cell in which you have to attempt to sleep crouched over burning coals while "Florida-Georgia Line with Nelly" plays over and over through a loudspeaker. There won't be no Gideon's Bible in a drawer for you to read and cry out to the Lord for help either, just an unauthorized Rascal Flatts biography with a Gary Levox centerfold.

The biggest sin the "CDB" has committed with this song is that they will cause young "CDB" fans to stumble. How many trucker-capped, fist pumping young men will follow the band down this Texas highway to Hell? This song is pretty catchy, so it will certainly appeal to the younger demographic and all the "attitude" (which is really just a code word for "Hate of Jesus") will cause their hormone addled minds to see this sort of behavior as "cool" or "tight, yo."

I will pray for this band and its fans tonight. I will lift them up and ask the heavenly Father to help them turn away from humanism and vice before they join such "icons" of that lifestyle as Johnny Paycheck and Hank Williams in perdition.

My rating for this reprehensible song:
F!

Jan 28, 2013

Same Ol' Song

I wrote this lyric before the days of Farce the Music (or Photocrap, for that matter) and unfortunately it rings truer than ever now. And yes, I name dropped... but it fit the theme - I wasn't doing it for fake country cred.



No Country on the Radio

I was in the mood for a drinkin' song
Some guy cryin' over love that's gone
So I flipped through a dozen stations
I shook my head I couldn't find a thing
No sad fiddles, no whiskey, no twang
And came to the sad realization

(Chorus)
There ain't no country on the radio
No steel guitars, nothing sad and slow
It's happy slappy joy joy
From little girls and pretty boys
Singin' pop songs in a row
But there ain't no country on the radio

I caught the tail end of Shania Twain
DJ said that's the classic of the day
I almost drove off the shoulder
The next song sounded like a Hallmark Card
Some whiner rhyming "heart" with "apart"
I know Waylon just rolled over

('Cause) There ain't no country on the radio
No steel guitars, nothing sad and slow
It's happy slappy joy joy
From little girls and pretty boys
Singin' pop songs in a row
But there ain't no country on the radio

Bridge
I found an old truckstop with a $5 rack
Bought some Yoakam, Paycheck and Hag
The channel may be clear but I ain't comin' back

(Alt Bridge)
Hootie, The Eagles, Bon Jovi, oh my
I know where old rockers go to die

('Cause) There ain't no country on the radio
No steel guitars, nothing sad and slow
It's drum loops and big guitars
Makes me wanna crash my car
God I miss George Jones
There ain't no country on the radio


©2007 Corey Parkman

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