Farce the Music: Keith Urban

Showing posts with label Keith Urban. Show all posts

May 8, 2020

The Current Poop of Mainstream Country Radio: May 2020

A poop emoji is negative. A strike-thru is positive.

The current Poop Rating of the Mediabase Top 20 is (6) overall which is a 25(!!) point improvement from December (the previous time we did this chart). I wouldn’t say the country chart is more country these days, but the quality has improved by leaps and bounds. There’s more depth. There are more women. The worst song is Florida-Georgia Line’s “I Love My Country.” The best song is Maddie & Tae’s “Die From a Broken Heart,” which has been on the charts for …ever, it seems.

Chart info from Mediabase/Country Aircheck.

Apr 2, 2020

Tiger King Country Reaction Gifs

When Jerrod Niemann's "Donkey" flopped.

Wheeler Walker Jr. in 20 years about to sing a song about nursing home sex

Why don't you like Kane Brown's music?

Keith Urban's gonna have a livestream concert!

When your new lover promised you

some meth if you'd go to an Upchurch concert

Does this guy look like Florida-Georgia Line's oldest fan?

When "Goodbye Earl" comes on

right after you killed your husband

Jan 31, 2020

Yeah We Know, Keith

Jan 10, 2020

Honest Aircheck Top 15 Country Songs

Jan 7, 2020

The Crud Report: January 2020

Nov 25, 2019

10 Year Challenge Memes: Country Radio, Keith Urban, Brad Paisley

Nov 21, 2019

This Guy Rants About The CMA Entertainer of the Year Award Controversy

Garth Brooks won the CMA entertainment of the year award and everybody’s in there feelings about it. I’m a little mad myself sense Keith Urban didn’t win it, but that’s not why other people are all salty. They think, get this, that Carry Underwood or Eric Church shoulda won. LMOA! On one side you’ve got all the feminists who want women to win everything and rule the world (go rule over the laundry room, lol). On the other side, you’ve got hipster country fans who think Eric Church is any good.

There both wrong! If Keith Urban couldn’t win it Garth is the man! I’ve seen garth live at least 5 times and it was a damn party! He ran around like a crazy person and climbed on stuff and yelled! It was bad ass. And Garth is one of the inventors of country music. How could you not know that? Him and Tim McGraw are the first people to make country music worth listening too so I consider them the pine ears of the music!

Now lets look at Eric Church. He’s obviously on drugs sense he never takes off his shades. And his songs are all complicated and shit. I just want to here about not going down till the sun comes up and drinking two peenya coladas and friends being in low places but he sings about monsters and being desperate or some crap. That’s not country! And he sings about that liberal loon Bruce Springsting to. I don’t know anybody who listens to that lefty crap so why would I want to hear a song about him?? Duh.

Now Carry Underwood is hot. I’ll give you that. She’s real entertaining if you turn the sound off, you know what I’m saying? But when you have to here her voice, it’s awful. And she sings about love all the time. She’s also a liberal deep state member. It’s crazy we let these people into country music in the first place! She’s a vagrant too! That means she doesn’t eat any meat products. What.the.f.? Both her and Eric don’t want me to have my collection of bazookas and Gatling guns. Damn gun grabbers. Neither one of them deserves to be the entertainment of the month at Chucky Cheese’s much less for the hole country music asociation.

My final comment is: scoreboard! Garth won. Get over it. You can’t try to get rid of him like your trying to do too a certain other American hero right now. God blessed country music an America!

Sep 18, 2019

Pro Wrestler / Country Singer Equivalents 2019

Keith Urban = Dolph Ziggler

Stupid hair. Been around for a long time.

One of the most talented but always seems to let us down.

Dan + Shay = Glacier & Ernest Miller

Uh, there's two of them.

Good at something probably, but not their chosen field.

Kacey Musgraves = Becky Lynch

Badass. Stands up for women.

The diehards have always loved her, but she

just went big-time in 2018.

George Jones = Jeff Hardy

One of the greats. Known for showing up in bad shape or not at all.

Has had his photo taken in front of a wall at the police station several times.

(Thanks to Cherryll Batty for this idea!)

Morgan Wallen & Hardy = The Godwinns

Nobody can be this redneck in real life.

Zac Brown = Baron Corbin

Dresses stupid. Not much hair.

Pretty talented but so damn annoying that you honestly just want him to go away.

Kane Brown = The Gobbledy Gooker

Hyped heavily. Made a big splash at first, but once everybody found

out he was lame, nobody was interested any more.

Jul 29, 2019

More Monday Memes: Keith Urban, Sturgill Simpson, Hick Hop

Jul 23, 2019

Honest Billboard Country Airplay Top 20

Jul 12, 2019

The Current Poop of Mainstream Country: July '19

A poop emoji is negative; a strike-thru is positive.

The current Poop Rating of the Mediabase Top 20 is (-10) overall which is a 6 point improvement from January (the previous time we did this chart). The best song on the chart is Eric Church’s “Some of It.” The worst is Thomas Rhett’s “Look What God Gave Her” (though there is very stiff competition from FGL and Luke Bryan). The biggest surprise for me is that Keith Urban’s current single isn’t too bad. I can’t remember the last time one of his singles wasn’t unlistenable pop dreck. Women are faring a little better on the chart now, but only marginally.

Chart info from Mediabase/Country Aircheck.