Showing posts with label Luke Bryan. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Luke Bryan. Show all posts

Oct 23, 2020

Luke Bryan Reveals “Resting Poop Face” Diagnosis

In a recent Instagram post, country superstar Luke Bryan revealed that he has recently suffered from a debilitating condition. Its medical name is Resting Defecation Face and rather than pontificate on his situation, we’ll simply copy and paste the text from his own Instagram account:

I’ve got a lot of comments about my beard lately and thought I’d come out and address the reasons for it. It’s not because I’ve got lazy during the pandemic or nothing. I mean, I’ve relaxed a lot more but I still got them abs baby! Still gonna shake it for y’all when we get to tour again! Looking forward to seeing everybody on the road, hopefully next year! But let’s get serious for a minute. My wife (and some of you) had mentioned to me that I always have a particular expression in the photos where I ain’t smiling. To be honest, Carolyn just came out and said “You looking like you’re taking a big dump.” LOL. 


So anyway, I started looking through all my promo photos in the last few years and she was right! I look like I got the beer and meat sweats and I’m struggling on the throne, LOL. I got my wife to take some pictures of me so I could try a different look, but it was no use. My face was stuck that way! I started growing this beard to help distract from it, but now people are telling me it makes me look even more like a creepy dude pinching a loaf. So I went to the doctor to see if I might have a problem. It wasn’t 5 minutes before he knew the problem. Resting Defecation Face! He says it’s a real thing! It’s where a person’s relaxed facial expression gives the impression that they are growing a tail! The focused in the distance eyes, the curled lips, the exposed teeth, the general air of distress. It’s a real condition! Carolyn calls it Resting Poop Face, LMAO. 


I promise y’all I ain’t filling my skinny jeans in those pictures. It’s just natural I guess. The doctor is giving me some facial exercises to try and reshape the structure, but I may be stuck like this. Maybe it’ll catch on and be a cool new Tik Tok challenge or whatever the #lukebryanpoopfacechallenge LOL! Again, I’m seriously not dropping kids off at the pool in those photos! I’m not that old yet! 


Anyway, I just thought y’all should know. Please keep me and my dookie face in your thoughts and prayers and we request privacy at this time.


~LB


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Inspired by Joshua Wallace tweet.

Oct 22, 2020

Hocus Pocus Country Reaction Gifs

When your sisters think country music only exists if it's on the radio
 

When somebody politely invites you to listen to Kane Brown with them

Luke Bryan:

So, how was that new Sturgill album?

When you tell someone you love country music and they start talking about how much they love Sam Hunt

Every time I look at the country charts

Anybody excited about the CMT Awards

Oct 2, 2020

Carl Outlaw, Real Country Fan, Reviews Morgan Wallen's "7 Summers"


I’m sposed too review a song from some chick named Morgan Wallen but I didn’t even listen to it. I heard she’s better than most singers on country radio (that’s like saying jock itch is the best bad thing that can happen to your crotch), but I looked at her picture and she’s ugly AF. I can’t listen to ugly chicks. 


Wait, my editor Mr. Trailer is telling me that Morgan is a dude. Well I’m still not listening. If they play it on country radio its not good, periodt point blank. If you think they play any good real country music on main stream radio, then your stupid and shouldn’t vote. If I even herd that Johnny Cash got played on a main stream station, I would stop listening too him.

I bet this Morgan person is friends with Luke Bryan, whoever that is. 


The song I’m not reviewing is called “7 Summers” and before I even read the lyrics I’m going to predict what its about. Its about how him and his boys have partied at the same pasture the last 7 years in a row and their sad that one of them is actually somehow smart enough too go off to college now. So there throwing him one last Fireball and hotties party and even bought him new truck nutz with his colleges’ logo on them as a going away gift.

You know what! I’m not even going to read the lyrics. I’ll just go own thinking that’s what the song is about and who really gives a shit anyway. 


This dude’s mullet makes me want to cut mine off and then shave my head so we don’t have anything in common. I saw a tweet saying that Morty here is saving country music. LOMFA! He couldn’t save a hard on in a whore house. I’m so tired of every time somebody isn’t rapping or doing EDM, there fans think their the second coming of Hank Williams. Nosir. Go suck an exhaust pipe. Your an idiot. This song is terrible.

Oct 1, 2020

WWE (& AEW) Country Reaction Gifs 44

When the dude on your friend's shoulders is a known Luke Bryan fan

When your son doesn't take his guns to town but he still gets in trouble

Many people enjoy Kane Brown's music

Why doesn't your buddy like Colter Wall?

Jericho: Your mother is a Florida-Georgia Line groupie

Mike:

Me, back in the day when Rascal Flatts' fans said they were going to get this blog shut down for making fun of RF

How Vandoliers decide the last song that makes the cut on the album

When your dad throws out your old Willie t-shirt

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