From Amanda's forthcoming album Take It Like a Man.
Showing posts with label Maren Morris. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Maren Morris. Show all posts
Jul 20, 2022
Jul 13, 2022
The Current Poop of Mainstream Country Radio: July '22
A poop emoji is negative, a strike thru is positive. Total score below the chart.
The current Poop Rating of the Mediabase Top 20 is (-11) overall which is a 3 point drop from April (the previous time we did this chart). The best song is Ernest/Morgan Wallen’s “Flower Shops.” The worst is Dustin Lynch’s “Party Mode.” There are less women and more trucks… the typical summer regression.
Chart info from Mediabase/Country Aircheck.
May 6, 2022
Jul 15, 2021
Elderly Country Songs
George Strait "Metamucil By Morning"
Hank Williams "Jambalaya (On the Buffet)"
Maren Morris "The Bones (Ain't Good)"
Kane Brown "Nursing Homesick"
Florida-Georgia Line "Can't Say I Ain't Gimpy"
Garth Brooks "Friends in Assisted Living"
Jason Isbell "Seat Where She Sat in the Shower"
Mar 25, 2021
WandaVision Country Reaction Gifs
What? Why aren’t you gonna watch the ACM Awards?
Do you think Kane Brown is a good country singer?
Describe Niko Moon
Maren Morris starts out with a country song and then never releases another one.
When your first concert in a year is Billy Strings and that contact high hits.
When “Marie Laveau” comes on
Yeah, it’s been so long since I’ve seen a live show, I’ll go see Cole Swindell with you.
When somebody asks what I think of Luke Bryan in polite company
Mar 5, 2021
Jan 6, 2021
Nov 18, 2020
Aug 14, 2020
Country Fan Sure His “Boobies!” Reply on Instagram Will Make Maren Morris Fall for Him
Carl Outlaw of Pensacola, FL and self-described fan of “real country music,” believes a recent Instagram comment will deliver him country star Maren Morris away from her husband, singer Ryan Hurd.
Last week, Morris posted a shot of herself in a beautiful tropical dress enjoying a cold beverage beside a golf course. The dress is burgundy and gold and tastefully revealing. Morris’ comment with the photo was “at least margaritas still exist this year.” Shortly after the IG post, Outlaw set into action.
Simply replying “Boobies!” with 2 basketball emojis, Outlaw confirmed his visual recognition that Maren in fact possesses breasts, and that he approves of their appearance. “I love the internet! I don’t have to holler at girls on the corner anymore - I can just do it on Instagram.” laughed Outlaw. “I know she’s gonna be flattered and leave that pop country singing loser, Ryan Turd.”
When asked if he was a fan of Maren Morris’ music, Mr. Outlaw replied that he had never heard it. “I just follow her for the bikini pics,” he said. “It’s a free country.”
Outlaw felt sure that once Morris saw his reply, she’d take one look at his account and fall in love immediately. “When she finds out that I like shooting stuff, drinking Miller Lite, and cursing at politicians online, I know it’s gonna be on sight.” he laughed. “I’ve got a snooker table too.”
While it is a common occurrence for male fans to point out the body part that is to their liking on female celebrities and influencers’ posts, it’s uncertain how many of these communications lead to romance.
At press time, Maren was deleting the comment.
Jul 8, 2020
Dec 13, 2019
The Current Poop of Mainstream Country Radio: December '19
The current Poop Rating of the Mediabase Top 20 is (-19) overall which is a 8(!!) point decrease from October (the previous time we did this chart). The best song on the chart is Jon Pardi’s “Heartache Medication.” The worst is Dan + Shay and Justin Bieber’s “10,000 Hours.”
Chart info from Mediabase/Country Aircheck.
Dec 11, 2019
What Your Favorite Album of 2019 Says About You 2
Zac Brown Band - The Owl
You tell everybody you like everything Zac Brown puts out no matter how he experiments, but in secret, you think this sucks.
Beyonce - Homecoming: The Live Album
You will taunt, threaten, curse, dox, and possibly inflict bodily harm upon anyone who says anything negative about this album, but otherwise you’re pretty nice.
Highwomen - s/t
You’re a strong, beautiful, independent woman and so is your significant other.
FGL - Can’t Say I Ain’t Country
You have a jacked up truck with exhaust stacks, fight with your girlfriend in public, and are drunk right now. Dad says your seventh year of community college is your last, graduation or not.
Maren Morris - Girl
You can’t get into the Highwomen album because it’s too country. You use way too many hashtags on Instagram.
Tyler Childers - Country Squire
You have a homemade bootleg live version of the album that’s “way better.” You sold a car out of your front yard for parts to get tickets to Sturgill and Tyler next year.
Puddle of Mudd - Welcome to Galvania
Wait, Puddle of Mudd still exists? You are a member of some guy in the band’s family.
Luke Combs - What You See is What You Get
Just gonna go out on a limb with this one and guess that you enjoy beer.
Vandoliers - Forever
You skate, fish, have purple hair, and are polite to your mama.
Zac Brown - The Controversy
You usually tell everybody you like everything Zac Brown puts out no matter how he experiments, but you gave up your fan club membership and started an anti-Zac Brown Facebook page after hearing this shit.
Post Malone - Hollywood’s Bleeding
You toss around words like ‘molly’ and ‘yeet’ but your 6th grade teacher doesn’t like you to say them in class.
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This is satire. Don't take it seriously.
Idea stolen from Medium.
Nov 14, 2019
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