Showing posts with label Miranda Lambert. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Miranda Lambert. Show all posts

Jul 13, 2018

Mainstream Country Station Accidentally Plays Good Song

Note: This story was blatantly ripped off from Babylon Bee and adapted for country radio.

SOUTHAVEN, MS—Representatives for local mainstream country radio station WFNN 99.1 "Mighty Fine Ninety-Nine" issued an official apology Thursday morning after accidentally playing a good song on their station. An employee error reportedly caused the not awful song to be played in full.

“There’s no excuse, and we apologize,” a station representative said. “We meant to play another vapid pop song with a fiddle hidden in there so deep you'd need a stethoscope to hear it, and somehow a song with deep themes, country instrumentation, and solid musical execution just was slipped into the queue by a now former employee.”

Horrified listeners reportedly phoned in poorly though-out and nearly incomprehensible complaints throughout the morning.

“I relies on Mighty Fine 99 to play Luke Bryan at least twice hourly so I can make it through my hard morning of posting Alex Jones videos and racist memes on Facebook,” one local woman told reporters. “And they p**sed me off... because of that twangy noise song, they only played Luke eleventeen times today. I'm switching over to Bro-Country 102 if this s**t continues.”

"I accidentally heard a steel guitar and felt an emotion, despite being on high doses of feeling reducer pills," said Jonny Latham of Olive Branch. "That Stapleton dude sang a few three syllable words and made me feels intelligently inadequate." 

The network’s leadership assured its disgruntled listener base it wouldn’t happen again.

“I’ve personally gone in and purged every Miranda Lambert, Jon Pardi, and Chris Stapleton song from our system and instructed our content managers to only play mind-numbing, formulaic hits based on our data metrics going forward,” 99.1's program director said. “And as a special thank you to listeners for sticking with us, I’m happy to announce we’ll be playing only "Downtown's Dead" and "Heaven" for six straight hours Sunday afternoon." 


Jul 11, 2018

Country Singer Bars & Restaurants

It seems like every country A-lister has a new restaurant & bar open or on its way to Lower Broadway in Nashville. Inspired by a recent tweet from someone I follow, here are some (thus far) non-existent musician-owned bars and restaurants. 

After the Fries Are Gone
(Loretta Lynn)

Sam Hunt's Cake Pops in a Small Town

Chad Brock's Armbar & Grille

Justin Moore's Short Order Cafe

Let's Go Fajitas
(Faith HIll)

Angus Among Us Steakhouse
(Alabama)

The Heart Wants Pie
(Reba)

Chris Janson's Food Truck Yeah!

It Ain't All Flour
(Sturgill Simpson)

Skeevy's Place Sexy Ladies' Bar
(Old Dominion)

Bok Choy Take Me Away
(Dixie Chicks)

Cole Swindell's White Bread, Crackers, and Bud Light

The Plate of These Wings
(Miranda Lambert)

Brantley Gilbert's Suburban Biker Bar

Now That I Fondue
(Terri Clark)

Bucky Covington's Roadkill Truck

A Good Year for the Rosé
(George Jones)

Colt Ford's Gullet Shove Buffet



Jul 6, 2018

Dogs & Babies: Country Reaction Gifs

When the radio plays Stapleton ...then Sam Hunt

When you took your dog along to the Willie Nelson show

When you've had a rough day dodging paparazzi

When you're walking along minding your own business
and hear FGL playing from a car nearby

Needs no explanation...

When you're excited about the party but they're playing Colt Ford

Listening to new Cody Jinks like...

This YouTube comment will have better grammar and spelling than the average Kane Brown fan's comment




Jun 26, 2018

Eatin' With the Country Stars







And of course...


This is the kind of hard-hitting content you get in summer when music news is scarce. 

Apr 26, 2018

Borat Country Reaction Gifs

You think Florida-Georgia Line sucks too?!?

Country radio exec:

*sees Paul Thorn in public*
Me: Try not to say something stupid...

Me: I don't like to dance
*Jo-El Sonnier song comes on*
Me:

When Jason Aldean puts out a good song with Miranda Lambert

Chris Stapleton had the second most added song at country radio this week!

When the car beside you is playing Kane Brown

The new John Prine album is nice, huh?

When your passenger says they're tired of listening to Merle

Still more country than Sam Hunt

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