Showing posts with label Morgan Wallen. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Morgan Wallen. Show all posts

Apr 8, 2022

Deadline for Dumbass Summer Pop-Country Singles Rapidly Approaching

Though we’ve barely stepped foot into Spring, the deadline for stupid-ass, shallow, moronic, brand name filled, pandering pop-country summer songs is quickly nearing. With the slow movement of the charts these days, a song released now might have a chance of peaking by late August or early September, unless your name is Luke Combs or Morgan Wallen. 


Word out of Nashville says around 43 B, C, and D-list artists were preparing to drop tunes about skinny dipping, trucks, feet on dashes, cut off jeans, girls in trucks, trucks in mud, bonfires in fields, sex in a field, beer in a truck, and the July moon in the next couple of weeks. Though most of these will never climb into the top 40, the braindead, embarrassing, numbskull summer song is a tried and true tradition for artists every year, even if they’re simply going through the motions. 


Even country legends have fallen into this trite formula in the past, with Clint Black (“Summer’s Coming”) and Travis Tritt (“Girls Gone Wild”) putting out their doofiest, most cringe-worthy songs simply with the hopes that country fans would like to listen to songs about what they’re doing in summer while they’re doing it. 


Up and comer Chance Russell is excited about his forthcoming debut single “Livin’ for the Summer.” “It’s about you know, living, and summer, and making sure to be living for the summer.” said a smiling Russell as he signed off on the final mix, replete with computerized drums and meticulously corrected vocals. 


In writer’s rooms across Nashville, some were still trying to bang out empty-headed bangers at the last minute. 9 dudes were attempting to find a rhyme for ‘hard seltzer’ in one plush office, while 13 guys and one girl were adding some last minute slang to their shit-for-brains summer slapper in the suite next door. 


Other titles to be on the lookout for include:

“Married in Myrtle”

“White Claw Can, Fresh Spray Tan”

“Redneck Vibe Check”

“Dirt Road Drip”

“Left My Heart on Miramar”



Mar 10, 2022

George Carlin Country Reaction Gifs

 There will be foul language. Duh.

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If somebody who hasn't listened to country radio since 1998 turns on country radio now

Just a big red goodbye in lipstick on the wall

Someone who says country music is dead is

When your wife has to stay with her sick mom and can't take the kids to the Luke Bryan concert

"Why won't you go with me to the Aldean show? You can just get drunk and talk trash."

Parker McCollum is talented and tall and handsome?

When you clicked play on Sturgill's Sound & Fury

If you're starting to think Walker Hayes isn't as bad as everybody says

You started listening to Morgan Wallen only because the left hates him, even though you don't like pop country?

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