Country Twitter FAILS: July '22

*language warning*

I blurred this guy because he has good taste, even if he can't spell

Morgan Wallen in the Studio

Honest Billboard Country Top 20: July '22

The Current Poop of Mainstream Country Radio: July '22

A poop emoji is negative, a strike thru is positive. Total score below the chart.

The current Poop Rating of the Mediabase Top 20 is (-11) overall which is a 3 point drop from April (the previous time we did this chart). The best song is Ernest/Morgan Wallen’s “Flower Shops.” The worst is Dustin Lynch’s “Party Mode.” There are less women and more trucks… the typical summer regression.

Chart info from Mediabase/Country Aircheck.

More Monday Memes: Morgan Wallen, Dylan Scott, Ray Wylie Hubbard

 

The Crud Report: July '22

Pop-Country Singer Praying Interviewer Won’t Ask Any Political Questions

A sweat bead forms at the widow’s peak of a famous pop-country singer as he fidgets in his chair. It’s the first in-person interview with someone who isn’t Bobby Bones he’s done in a while. The crooner’s handler politely asked the host to avoid a few potential land mines in the discussion, but the singer sees some shiftiness in the questioner’s eyes. 

He says a quick prayer in his head that there won’t be any questions about abortion, guns, the infield shift, Donald Trump, Morbius, LGBT rights, or any other hot button topics. Amen. 

After a brief warm greeting and small talk, the interview begins. Deep breath. 

“What do you think about the trans…” (OH GOD) “…ition from the party hearty days of bro-country to the more muted sound of your music these days?” he asks. (WHEW!) 

He’s got this one. He can flash those pearly whites and rest his fingers on his scruffy chin and knock that answer out with vague aplomb and goofy charm. No worries so far.

“You once toured with Morgan Wallen as your opener. Care to discuss when he said…” (OH SHIT) “that he considers you a role model and kind of a mentor?” is the follow up question.

The sweat bead has now split the singer’s eyes and rolled to the tip of his nose. He wipes it off with the sleeve of his $95 plain white t-shirt. Softball question, thank God. Media training prepared him for this, how to be humble and full of praise. Oh, and mention how much Morgan Wallen has grown since the incide…. NOOOOOOOO. Don’t even think about opening that door! Just keep it short and graceful.

“Now let’s get a little personal” says the interviewer. “Do you think a woman should have the right to choose…” (OH SHIT OH DAMN OH F@4% HELP ME MARY AND JOSEPH!) “what restaurant you’re going to on a date?” he asks.

There’s an audible massive exhale, like an NFL lineman stood on one of those camping mattresses with the valve open or something. He looks at his watch. 14 minutes and 35 seconds of the allotted 15 have expired. He’s made it. No controversies, no cancellations, no major missteps. He feels his heart rate settle.

“One last question: boxers or briefs….”

Top Gun Country Reaction Gifs

 When it's time for some bluegrass

"You shouldn't talk bad about Walker Hayes' music because he's a nice man with a good family"

So you finally saw Willie Nelson, huh?

A Chase Rice video, probably

When she meets the mythical blogger who hates pop-country but loves hair metal

If you were on Big Rock Candy Mountain, what would you do?

When somebody asks you to turn down the 49 Winchester

Yeah Morgan Wallen is better than a lot of other current pop-country singers, but that doesn't mean he's very good

When you tell her your hobby is making Kane Brown fans feel bad about their taste in music

Country Twitter Wins: June '22

Country Twitter Fails: June '22