Showing posts with label Morgan Wallen. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Morgan Wallen. Show all posts

May 23, 2023

Parenting Fails


Top 10 Ways to Be the “Next Big Thing” in Country/Americana

By Jeremy Harris and Trailer

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10. Stop showering


9. Sound like Morgan Wallen


8. Have a throaty growl that sounds like you’re getting over a sinus infection


7. Get nominated for a Best New Artist award 7 years into your career


6. Only drink beer brewed within 20 miles of your home county 


5. Mention Ohio in your song but live 1 state south of there


4. Sound like Tyler Childers


3. Get a shout-out from Jay Potta


2. Grow a mustache that suggests you lost a bet


1. Sound like Zach Bryan



Bonus from Country Universe:

Be rumored to be dating Morgan Wallen



May 19, 2023

Nashville Artist Development Meeting


Dierks Bentley Just as Surprised as You That He Has 22 #1 Hits

Country music star Dierks Bentley reported Thursday that he is just as surprised as you to find out that he has twenty-two number one country hits. The Arizona-born singer expressed outright shock that he’d reached such an impressive milestone.

“22??” he asked incredulously, “How is that even possible when it takes a year for a song to move up the chart if your name isn’t Morgan Wallen or Luke Combs?” He couched that statement with a “No offense guys; take me on tour.”


Bentley went on to attempt to name 10 of the songs that hit number one on either the Mediabase/Country Aircheck country chart. 


“Well obviously there’s “Gold” which I remember because it’s my last single, but after that it gets sketchy,” he laughed. “Okay, uh… “What Was I Thinkin’” was my first, then there were like 5 in a row that sounded alike that might’ve hit #1… does “Every Mile Down the Road I Go Alone” sound right?”


“”Sideways!” …that’s one for sure,” he went on. “Okay, being drunk somewhere popped into my head… a beach, a plane, church?, maybe at Kid Rock’s bar?” 


Bentley, 47, was unable to name another of his single releases that had topped the charts correctly, throwing out phrases like he was playing Win, Lose, or Draw. “It’s hard because, you know, either my songs are party hard uptempo songs or mid tempo songs about driving somewhere, it’s difficult to keep up, honestly,” admitted Bentley.


At press time, Dierks was lamenting not being a trend-chaser and was considering a few bass drops and curse words on his next record. 


May 18, 2023

Know Your Wallens


Judge Judy Country Reaction Gifs

When you listen to a song on the country chart and there's no twang, but there’s programmed beats, and no story.

When Wallen rules the charts for another week

Oh, Train and Parmalee are playing a show here?

Hey who remembers Pinmonkey?

When you find a bunch of autographed Sam Hunt 8x10s

Me opening Facebook to read the comments after my latest Hardy meme

“What are the chances you’ll go see Jason Aldean with me?”

Every time Kane Brown says he's going "back to his roots"

🎶I'm the fool in love with the fool that's still in love with you🎶

May 4, 2023

Survivor Country Reaction Gifs

Secret look at the meeting in the 90s where John Rich was kicked out of Lonestar for being an a-hole

When my family gets tired of me listening to Ruston Kelly on repeat

Who goes online and tells everybody they payed thousands of dollars to see a mediocre pop-country singer?

When you say there's no more real country music, this is what you're really saying

When she says "Last chance" as she walks out the door to go to the Kane Brown concert

"If there were snap beats in your favorite Tyler Childers song, you wouldn't complain"

When Sam Hunt started in the country music biz

When "Louisiana Saturday Night" pops up in your tropical playlist for some reason

When Facebook replies to my Cody Jinks
meme post recommend Upchurch

When you hear that Turnpike has a new album coming

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