Showing posts with label Parmalee. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Parmalee. Show all posts

Dec 9, 2014

Three Up Three Down: December '14



3 Up


Maddie & Tae - Girl in a Country Song
This is both a good song and a culturally significant song. Rarely do those two things equal a popular song, but here we are with it sitting at #1 on the Mediabase charts and others. Are listeners grinning a little and moving on to the next booty-on-a-tailgate song or nodding their heads in acknowledgement? It's hard to know right now, but I suppose we'll see in time. The fact that these thoughts about sexism and clichés in country music are now out there beyond FTM's constant complaining and the occasional newspaper website think-piece is a good start. The fact that Maddie and Tae have proven on their recent EP to be more than the vehicle for what some surely consider a novelty song is even more favorable. Fingers crossed.
B+


Eric Church - Talladega
Eric Church does nostalgia better than anyone on the charts right now because he starts with the personal and makes it sound universal, while everyone else seems to be taking the opposite approach. "Talledega" sounds like a big ol' yeehaw, NASCAR loving anthem if you just pay attention to the high points, but it's really a small story wrapped in a big idea. The chorus might call on everybody to sing along and it may beg for sponsorship opportunities, but the verses actually make you miss the fun and friends from that trip you may or may not have ever even made to watch cars turn left. It's wistful and epic and everything this kind of song should be.
A


Jake Owen - What We Ain't Got
Co-written by Travis Meadows and Travis Jerome Goff, "What We Ain't Got" is a powerful ballad about never being satisfied with with one's situation, possessions and relationships. It's a simple longing that falls into several categories of the Christian concept of sin, but one that no one is immune to. Jake Owen spoke of this song as a harbinger of change and he wasn't over-hyping it. The song opens Owen's field of view and enlivens the possibilities for his future work being more varied and deeper than flip-flops, summer flings and tan lines. It's also great for country radio, since its frequent play forces dunderhead bro's to listen to something with actual artistic merit and positive moral implications. Jake's vocal talent and commercial momentum combined with a truly great song make this a release of considerable importance.
A+


3 Down


Parmalee - Close Your Eyes
They rhyme "hotter" with "water." That's enough to disqualify this song from being anything I'd ever listen to on purpose, but worse than that, "Close Your Eyes" is a color-by-numbers. bro-country lite song created specifically to be airplay filler. And now, it's top 10 airplay filler. The emperor has no clothes and nobody gives a shit. Sing familiar words with a familiar melody that fits into the current sonic model and don't make anybody think negative thoughts and you've got a hit. Well done, Parmalee, former rock band who couldn't hack it without switching genres to take advantage of country radio's doldrums. Take a bow.
D


Scotty McCreery - Feelin' It
I've said it before: Scotty McCreery has a fantastic country voice. Much like his vocal doppelganger, Josh Turner, he's struggled to find material that both fits his rich delivery and the whims of commercial country music. He's done it with this track - if by "done it" I mean, focused entirely on the whims portion of that last sentence. Not that he sounds bad singing this craptacular song, it's just that any minuscule thread of artistic quality is foregone for a steady run up Bob Kingsley's countdown. How bad is this song? Well, Ray-Bans are rayin' and cut-offs are cuttin', whatever those two statements mean. The build to the chorus is basically saying "here, I will continue to sing you this song about how we are enjoying chilling in the sun and drinking beverages." The chorus is basically saying "We are greatly enjoying chilling in the sun and drinking beverages." Then he rhymes "hotter" with "water" and you already know my disdain for that sort of thing. This song can take its "glossin' lip gloss" and kiss my ass; it's completely embarrassing and pathetic. Scotty, if you're going to use your gift to unleash tripe like this upon the world, I'd rather you go back and give minor league baseball a shot. "Screwball's screwin', catcher's chewin'…."
D-


Florida-Georgia Line - Sun Daze
I'm sure I've already said enough about this one with memes and whatnot, but hey, it still sucks. While I did actually like "Dirt," I'm starting to think these guys are just lowering the bar with nearly every single to make their mediocre work sound like classics. "Sun Daze" is stupid, derivative, artless, and is only catchy in the way that kidnapping sometimes brings about Stockholm syndrome. FGL's previous low-water mark was "This is How We Roll." That song was at least interesting with its obvious critic trolling slang and attitude. This song is just spectacularly awful and further proof that you can never underestimate the taste of the American public.
F

Oct 11, 2013

3 Up, 3 Down: October '13




3 Up

Miranda Lambert - All Kinds of Kinds
Quirky… no, downright strange for country radio, this is a song only someone with an established track record like Miranda Lambert could get away with (and she's only managed to barely crack the top 20 with it). It's weird and warm and has hopefully prepared listeners for the next big ode to open-mindedness to hopefully grace the charts, Kacey Musgraves' "Follow Your Arrow."
B

Zac Brown Band - Sweet Annie
Reminiscent of their earlier earthy smash "Colder Weather," "Sweet Annie" is a slow rolling vocally driven gem. It's not pure country, but it's right there in the pocket of what pop-country should sound like in a natural evolution of genre. It's a low-key, high-quality song that hopefully won't be hurt by any higher ups trying to serve out "justice" for Zac's comments about genre cash-cow Puke Bryan.
A

Jason Aldean - Night Train

Yes, I'm serious. No, I'm not testing you. No, please don't shun me. Sure, this isn't traditional-sounding and it's not particularly deep… but it sounds good and isn't a generic party/listing song. There's only a passing mention of a truck. And no cut-off jeans. Aldean usually puts out one single per album that I genuinely enjoy and this is it for the album of the same name. I'll probably never care for Aldean as an artist or person due to his attitude and tendency to put out crap like "1994," but "Night Train" shows that he's got a little more appeal behind the bluster than some of his compadres.
B+

3 Down

Cole Swindell - Chillin' It
An unmemorable voice singing an unremarkable song that sounds like a Florida-Georgia Line album cut. There aren't any particularly embarrassing lyrics in the song, but certainly nothing to hang your new vintage trucker cap on. Oh, and did I mention he used to be Luke Bryan's merch guy? That's got nothing to do with the song sucking but... who am I kidding? Yes it does.
D-

Chris Young - Aw Naw
Thankfully this is one of the 2 or 3 worst songs on his new album. Unfortunately, he'll probably release all of those as singles. Chris wasn't making enough money to keep up with the Aldeans putting out critical favorites like "Neon," so he became a follower of the less talented but more successful members of his genre, and this was the result. A bone-headed partyin' drinkin' anthem that he yells instead of sings.


Parmalee - Carolina
These guys switched from mainstream rock to mainstream country without even changing their sound or even remixing this song (not even a token fiddle or steel) and nobody said a word about it. DJ's just bent over and said "put it right here." It's not that this is a terrible song; it's one of the better songs I've heard from Daughtry… I'm just saying it doesn't belong on country radio. Why does country have to be the collection bin of failed pop singers and fake alt-rock bands?
C-

Jan 17, 2013

Single Review: Parmalee - Carolina


Failed rock band turned "country" band, Parmalee's first single "Musta Had a Good Time" sucked. That saved me having to waste any time writing about it because I had my doubts it would become a hit (though I did pick on it in graphic form). I can't say the same about "Carolina," so something must be said.

Parmalee may have thrown their hat into the country ring, but they are most certainly, not country. These words will echo previous ones said about Brantley Gilbert's "Kick It In the Sticks" and others of that rock ilk, but this song bears no resemblance to country music whatsoever. In fact, it barely even fits in with today's degraded country scene. Parmalee is Daughtry (the major label band with a Bleeding Cowboys logo, go figure). Not the country version of Daughtry, just Daughtry. Remember them? Chris Daughtry won American Idol (or was a runner up or something, but I don't care enough to Google) with a great set of pipes and proceeded to waste them on Nickelback-lite tripe. That's Parmalee. They even sound a helluva lot alike. Nothing changed except for the genre they're marketed for.

Why do I care? I care because "Carolina" is a catchy, decently-written pop-rock song that will almost certainly become a hit. Why haven't I given up on the contemporary scene altogether? Miranda, Chris Young, Zac Brown Band, Kacey Musgraves and a few others.... that's why. There's still some glimmer of hope shining through the dreck. Maybe it's just the dying embers of real country music smoldering in the pop downpour, but it's something to rest some hopefulness on.

If songs like "Carolina" become the norm, anything with the slightest twang (that isn't singing about the usual laundry list material) will have no chance gaining a foothold on the charts. I've said it before, but I might actually listen to country radio (even with bands like Parmalee and pop singers like Taylor Swift populating the mix) if the big umbrella of country was actually spread wide enough to cover the various forms of the genre like alt-country, Americana and traditional country. That's not happening. If anything, it's closing tighter...around anything that trumpets country in name only. And that's why something must be said.

"Carolina" itself isn't particularly awful, nor is it any good. It's an anthem about the singer hating to leave his woman at home when he's on tour and relating different aspects of her to the various places he does shows. It's moderately poetic, well-performed - as far as delivering from the script proficiently goes, sentimental and yet, miles from original. Sounds like a top 5 hit to me, but I hope not.



I realize there's nothing new under the sun, but couldn't Parmalee have let the daisies grow over Daughtry's career before hijacking his schtick? Is the pop-cred window of opportunity so quick to close that nobody hears this blatant theft? Are country radio listeners too young to even know who Daughtry is? Has anybody noticed that this same version of the song has been around for YEARS... from back when Parmalee were rockers instead of carpetbaggers?

I'll just end this wandering rant here before it starts to make any sense...

Rating (song only): C-
For its potential further damage to the term "country": F

Jun 19, 2012

You're Not a Real Country Singer 2




if you have to tell me how country you are -Andrew Lacy

if your jeans are tighter than Eugene Krabs' wallet.

if you wear Axe Body Spray -Cameron Gott

if you are Jason Aldean -Ian Donnelly

if most of your songs are really hard to play on Guitar Hero.

if you wear $400 designer jeans with designs and flaps on the back pockets -Blake Olson

if you use Autotune -Michael Wren

if you've never toured in a van.

if you cover Hinder -Cameron Gott

if you used to look like this:










But now look like this:










...if you don't have a song about murder - @CashFan90

if you wear Affliction, but haven't had any afflictions

if you don't know the lyrics of "Heartaches by the Number" -@TheBenimal

if one of yours songs has been used as a UFC entrance theme.

if you feel a constant need to tell people you're an outlaw -@10lbhammerbp

if you only cover rap and pop songs in concert.


if the only barbed wire that's ever touched your skin is embedded on your bicep.

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