Showing posts with label Parmalee. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Parmalee. Show all posts

Apr 19, 2018

Friends Country Reaction Gifs

  Last time Joey used your computer, he downloaded a bunch of Kane Brown songs

You spend a portion of each day telling people half your age what they should think country music means?

When Walker Hayes is playing in a public place where you can't turn it off.

One of your pastimes is calling Miranda Lambert a whore online?

There's Florida-Georgia Line fan fiction?

When "Body Like a Back Road" won ACM Single of the Year

Radio won't play Cam's "Diane?"

When you notice she has a Waylon tattoo
 

Hotdamalama? Parmalee?


Oct 1, 2015

In the Year 2030: Predictions for Luke Bryan, FGL, etc.


Tyler Hubbard, having blown through $156 million earned during his FGL days, 
takes a job more suited for his skills - guessing fair-goers weights and ages

Singers, songwriters, and musicians now pay music fans to listen to their singles and albums

Parmalee still releasing singles from 2013 album

Jason Aldean's fifth wife takes half his remaining estate in their divorce 
(3 Miller Lites, a subscription to hugejugs.xxx, and a faux vintage Skynyrd t-shirt)

Tyler Farr parks his minivan on his ex-wife's lawn and throws empty craft beer bottles at her window

R Kelly still peeing on people, but now because he is unable to control his bladder

Queen Swift of the UN Worldstate Council has all the music bloggers
who used to make fun of her voice beheaded on live television

Brad Paisley now writing goofy-ass songs about Metamucil, 
retirement funds, and erectile dysfunction

Kenny Chesney has trouble visiting the beach with his old blue walker

Keith Richards cuts back to a pack of cigarettes a day

Casey Donahew Band plots reunion tour. 35-50 year old bros
throughout Texas and Oklahoma brush up on fist-pumping skills

Sam Hunt custom orders Hitler-youth-hairstyle toupé

Every single attendee at summer country music festival arrested for something or other

Colt Ford still doesn't have any hits

Luke Bryan found destitute and crack-addicted in an Atlanta alley, 
clutching a frayed pair of skinny jeans

Jan 9, 2015

It's Mind-Blowing!

Just to verify with everyone that I have, in fact, seen this video... here it is. I was sent the video by someone on Wednesday, then Triggerman did a SCM post about it with some fancy words, so I didn't see the point of posting it, but again, here it is...

It certainly is mind-blowing, funny and not entirely surprising.



Jan 7, 2015

TwitterFAIL: January 2015


Not particularly safe for work, as usual.
_________________________________________________________________________
 
 















I have no idea what that's all about...

Dec 9, 2014

Three Up Three Down: December '14



3 Up


Maddie & Tae - Girl in a Country Song
This is both a good song and a culturally significant song. Rarely do those two things equal a popular song, but here we are with it sitting at #1 on the Mediabase charts and others. Are listeners grinning a little and moving on to the next booty-on-a-tailgate song or nodding their heads in acknowledgement? It's hard to know right now, but I suppose we'll see in time. The fact that these thoughts about sexism and clichés in country music are now out there beyond FTM's constant complaining and the occasional newspaper website think-piece is a good start. The fact that Maddie and Tae have proven on their recent EP to be more than the vehicle for what some surely consider a novelty song is even more favorable. Fingers crossed.
B+


Eric Church - Talladega
Eric Church does nostalgia better than anyone on the charts right now because he starts with the personal and makes it sound universal, while everyone else seems to be taking the opposite approach. "Talledega" sounds like a big ol' yeehaw, NASCAR loving anthem if you just pay attention to the high points, but it's really a small story wrapped in a big idea. The chorus might call on everybody to sing along and it may beg for sponsorship opportunities, but the verses actually make you miss the fun and friends from that trip you may or may not have ever even made to watch cars turn left. It's wistful and epic and everything this kind of song should be.
A


Jake Owen - What We Ain't Got
Co-written by Travis Meadows and Travis Jerome Goff, "What We Ain't Got" is a powerful ballad about never being satisfied with with one's situation, possessions and relationships. It's a simple longing that falls into several categories of the Christian concept of sin, but one that no one is immune to. Jake Owen spoke of this song as a harbinger of change and he wasn't over-hyping it. The song opens Owen's field of view and enlivens the possibilities for his future work being more varied and deeper than flip-flops, summer flings and tan lines. It's also great for country radio, since its frequent play forces dunderhead bro's to listen to something with actual artistic merit and positive moral implications. Jake's vocal talent and commercial momentum combined with a truly great song make this a release of considerable importance.
A+


3 Down


Parmalee - Close Your Eyes
They rhyme "hotter" with "water." That's enough to disqualify this song from being anything I'd ever listen to on purpose, but worse than that, "Close Your Eyes" is a color-by-numbers. bro-country lite song created specifically to be airplay filler. And now, it's top 10 airplay filler. The emperor has no clothes and nobody gives a shit. Sing familiar words with a familiar melody that fits into the current sonic model and don't make anybody think negative thoughts and you've got a hit. Well done, Parmalee, former rock band who couldn't hack it without switching genres to take advantage of country radio's doldrums. Take a bow.
D


Scotty McCreery - Feelin' It
I've said it before: Scotty McCreery has a fantastic country voice. Much like his vocal doppelganger, Josh Turner, he's struggled to find material that both fits his rich delivery and the whims of commercial country music. He's done it with this track - if by "done it" I mean, focused entirely on the whims portion of that last sentence. Not that he sounds bad singing this craptacular song, it's just that any minuscule thread of artistic quality is foregone for a steady run up Bob Kingsley's countdown. How bad is this song? Well, Ray-Bans are rayin' and cut-offs are cuttin', whatever those two statements mean. The build to the chorus is basically saying "here, I will continue to sing you this song about how we are enjoying chilling in the sun and drinking beverages." The chorus is basically saying "We are greatly enjoying chilling in the sun and drinking beverages." Then he rhymes "hotter" with "water" and you already know my disdain for that sort of thing. This song can take its "glossin' lip gloss" and kiss my ass; it's completely embarrassing and pathetic. Scotty, if you're going to use your gift to unleash tripe like this upon the world, I'd rather you go back and give minor league baseball a shot. "Screwball's screwin', catcher's chewin'…."
D-


Florida-Georgia Line - Sun Daze
I'm sure I've already said enough about this one with memes and whatnot, but hey, it still sucks. While I did actually like "Dirt," I'm starting to think these guys are just lowering the bar with nearly every single to make their mediocre work sound like classics. "Sun Daze" is stupid, derivative, artless, and is only catchy in the way that kidnapping sometimes brings about Stockholm syndrome. FGL's previous low-water mark was "This is How We Roll." That song was at least interesting with its obvious critic trolling slang and attitude. This song is just spectacularly awful and further proof that you can never underestimate the taste of the American public.
F

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