Showing posts with label Patty Loveless. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Patty Loveless. Show all posts
Nov 24, 2020
Aug 11, 2020
Aug 2, 2019
The Top 10 Biggest Jerks in 90s Country
A Collaboration/Guest Submission by Jackson Burnett & Trailer
Some would imagine that the country music industry during the mainstream’s last agreeable era, the 1990s, wasn’t as likely to contain divas and D-bags as it does today. However, that isn’t the case. Here are the 10 biggest offenders…
10. Joe Diffie
Plans to reissue his entire catalog on 4-track cartridges.
Personal Facebook page appears hacked, but it’s actually him posting all those links to bootleg Ray-Bans.
9. Suzy Bogguss
Covers “Courtesy of the Red, White and Blue” at the start of every show after 2006.
Drinks right from the 40 oz bottle of Olde English 800 and puts it back in the fridge.
8. Wade Hayes
Slashed Joe Diffie’s bus tires on a recent 90s country tour.
Sprinkles when he tinkles and isn’t neat enough to wipe the seat.
7. Patty Loveless
Final single was a dubstep remix of “Cleopatra, Queen of Denial.”
Hated touring Canada because “Canucks suck.”
6. Pam Tillis
Once said nice things about Locash… no, wait, that really happened.
Hides her master tapes under a dirty laundry pile that’s been sitting in her guest bathroom since 2005.
5. Ty Herndon
Leaves the sink running everywhere he goes.
Refuses to replace his official Angelfire website.
Sings exclusively in an “Ernie from Sesame Street” voice in concert.
4. Marty Raybon (Shenandoah, Raybon Brothers)
Spread a rumor that Diamond Rio were the country Milli Vanilli.
Just pours his tobacco spit cup out right by the door of the tour bus.
Stops in roundabouts.
3. Terri Clark
Once put Pam Tillis in a triangle choke submission for sneezing in her presence.
When on tour, has a tradition of taking selfies of her peeing on national landmarks.
Calls her dogs “puppers” and doggos.”
2. Trisha Yearwood
Once told an audience to “go f*** yourselves” for not singing along to her cover of “Bump & Grind."
Responds to fan mail by sending nude Garth pics.
Against legalization, but always on that kush.
1. Jim Lauderdale
Abuses Domino’s carryout insurance policy.
Ghost-wrote 88% of all bro-country songs.
Constantly on Tik Tok during meals with his bandmates.
Wants to tour with Old Dominion.
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*satire, obviously*
Sep 22, 2017
You're Not a Real Country Singer!
You're Not a Real Country Singer If...
Your jeans are tight but your name ain't Dwight
You've ever suggested a trap beat to your album's producer
You've ever suggested a trap beat to your album's producer
You've spent any amount of time trying to work
the phrase "poop emoji" into a song @samgazdiak
All your fans need a ride from their parents to the concert... -Eddie Combs
You're more likely to be seen with a Sun Beach tan than a Miller can
You think Bobby Bare is the name of an exotic dancer -Justin Chambers
You haven't left a girl in West Virginia, up there where the green grass grows.
Another girl in Cincinnati waiting where the Ohio River flows -Anthony Machado
They play your song on country radio @harrymorgan1937
You are certain Hank done it this way -Carl Wallace
Your jeans are tighter than your electronic drum beat @mkleiner2
You have tattoos but no scars -Seth Wilson
Your favorite Patty Loveless song is "Who is Patty Loveless?"
You are Kane Brown @amanda_darlene3
Your name rhymes with "mane crown" -Garrett Dressler
You can't get stoned with your band because it's all computers @Famous_Abell
You can't get stoned with your band because it's all computers @Famous_Abell
You have a hype man
You think the Carter scratch is something your DJ does @JuliThanki
You think the Carter scratch is something your DJ does @JuliThanki
You don't say anything at all about mama, or trains, or trucks,
or prison, or gettin' drunk. -Connor Smith
You sing about Dixie cups. (if you do, you're either a dentist or a toddler) @ryankentm
You can't name 3 George Jones songs but you remember every winner of The Bachelor
You use "how we roll" in a song and your protagonist in the song
isn't a truck driver. -Michael Crabtree
You think American Aquarium is a nickname for Seaworld @SeanRKent
You'd rather be spayed or neutered than express any negative opinion whatsoever
At least one Backstreet Boy was involved in the
creation of your latest album. @10lbhammerbp
You think Conway Twitty is just someone The Family Guy made up
Your truck tires are higher than your IQ @Senor_Fern
Your truck tires are higher than your IQ @Senor_Fern
You think Jason Aldean is "old school".... -Chuck Dye
You can't recite the "third" verse to "Friends in Low Places" @swoletexan
You sing about bars and churches, but haven't been to either one in years
You have backup dancers -BamaDan Ferguson
You think a Telecaster is the guy who reads the news on TV - Seth Wilson
You think Moe Bandy is a rapper featured on Ariana Grande's next single
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Thanks to our Twitter and Facebook friends for the replies!
All others written by Trailer.
Jul 17, 2015
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