Why 1987 Was Better Than 2016

ROCK MUSIC IN THE TOP 40, 1987

(REO Speedwagon was there too, but I hesitate to call them rock)

ROCK MUSIC IN THE TOP 40, 2016

REBA'S HAIR 1987

JUST LOOK AT THAT LUXURIOUS REDFRO!

 

REBA'S HAIR 2016

YAWN.

MTV VMAS 1987

This is talent, bro

MTV VMAS 2016

SPORTS SCANDAL 1987

SPORTS SCANDAL 2016 

DISASTER 1987

DISASTER 2016

RAPPER FLIPPING THE BIRD 1987

RAPPER FLIPPING THE BIRD 2016

TOP COUNTRY SONG 1987

TOP COUNTRY SONG 2016

TOOL CALENDAR 1987

TOOL CALENDAR 2016

 

MUSIC NEWS 1987

MUSIC NEWS 2016

If Dallas Davidson Had Written These Country Classics

Guitars, Cadillacs

And it's DJs, Chevys jacked, EDM music
Muddy, muddy fields that my tires roam
Yeah, my DJs, Chevys jacked, EDM music
And sexting hotties pictures of my dong

 

Old Dogs, Children and Watermelon Wine

Old trucks drive you round the square even when you're drunk as hell
God bless little cutoffs them girls are shakin' so well
That's pretty much the deepest stuff that's ever on my mind
Yeah old trucks and cutoffs and Kroger cherry shine

 

King of the Road

Raptor with chromed out vents
Custom seat - leather bench
Bluetooth and intake kit
Brand new Powerplant winch
Yo, it's..four hundred horses strong
Drive your girl right out of her thong
I'm the man drivin' with a lean
King of the bros

 

Forever and Ever Amen

If you wonder how long we'll be grindin'
Well, just crank up R Kelly's 12 Play
I'm gonna tap it for minutes, and minutes and minutes, lil bae

 

Hello Darlin'

What's up baby
How you doin'?
Those jeans sure are tight
So shake that money
Like I love to see

Have a cold one
Are you horny
Like I am tonight
Drop the tailgate
And play some Aldean

New Video: Randy Travis

From Influence Volume 2, here's Randy Travis' video for "Don't Worry 'Bout Me."

Sunday Mornin' Music: Randy Travis - Shallow Water

Sunday Mornin' Music: Randy Travis

This song ought to send chills up the spine of even the most undecided agnostic or devout atheist. I always forget what a great tune this is.

Luke Bryan's Top 10 Resolutions for 2013

Thanks to some Twitter and Facebook pals for their contributions!

10. Create a Luke Bryan Signature Line of skinny jorts

9. Try and one-up Randy Travis by having a dead hooker

in the bed of his truck when cops find him passed out - @thegools

8. Perform one song without doing pelvic thrusts - @harriett0312

7. The Holy Grail of pop-country doucheocity: write or cut

a song even dumber than "Country Girl (Shake it For Me)."

6. Re-round his nuts - @ohbuffalo

5. Fit into his (sister's) jeans from 5th grade again - @shelbyjo

4. Rhyme a word with 4x4 Chevrolet Suburban - @BUBBAERVIN

3. Buy stock in Crest White Strips - @Mbarber17

2. Create a Luke Bryan "bobble-legs" (as opposed to a Bobble-head)

1. Get a baseball cap with no bill so he won't waste so much time 

figuring out which way is backwards - Shari Geller from Facebook

Parody Christmas Album Covers

Another Popular Christmas Gift This Season

Yeah, I know it doesn't look that much like him.... so sue me.

Suggested New Country Artist Logos #5: Randy Travis, Hunter Hayes, etc.

Country Bumper Stickers: Aug '12

Stop It, Trailer

C'mon Randy, Get Some Help Buddy!

Randy Travis 'extremely intoxicated' in church parking lot fight, cited with simple assault: cops

Country Day Parody Album Covers August '12: Part 3