Every #1 Country Song of the 2000s: 2002

 2002

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February 2: "Good Morning Beautiful" by Steve Holy

Steve Holy should've had more hits. The Chris Issak-esque "Don't Make Me Beg" alone justifies his existence as an artist. This one is dragged down by dated production, but has enough charisma and wordplay to balance things back out. Wilbur C. Rimes layers on a very dated guitar tone and keyboard sound that make me think Michael Bolton, but Steve's voice adds a layer of gravitas that elevates the opening lyrics "Good morning, beautiful, how was your night? / Mine was wonderful with you by my side" into a pleasant conversational tone. I also like how the title refers to a "good morning beautiful day." Maybe a little less glossy reverb would have really kicked things up a notch, but as it stands, I still like this one way more than I did in 2002. B+

March 9: "Bring On the Rain" by Jo Dee Messina feat. Tim McGraw

"Tomorrow's another day / And I'm thirsty anyway / So bring on the rain." Even without the haunting in hindsight fact that this song was released on September 10, 2001, that's still a hell of a lyric. I've had a terrible day, but it's prepared me for anything that can come afterward. It's a very inspired spin on "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger," and it's far more vulnerable and raw than anything else in Jo Dee Messina's catalog of motivational anthems. Her more subdued yet more grainy delivery really helps here. Somehow, Tim's backing vocal strikes up far more chemistry than anything he's ever cut with his wife. The entire package is emphatic without being loud, emotional without being melodramatic, and overall, I'd say it adds up to easily her best song. A+

March 16: "The Cowboy in Me" by Tim McGraw

From one motivational song to another, both with Tim McGraw involved. Thankfully, the quality is equal on both; how this one didn't stick around is beyond me. I love the spare guitar production, and how the quiet verses build up to a soaring chorus (a bit rawer than the norm for Tim) before cooling back down. I find far too often thoughts like "sometimes I'm my own worst enemy" drive me down into a self-defeating spiral of pessimism, along with my own restlessness and hardness of heart. But just like the amazing perspective-flip here, I have loved ones whose own unending support has seen me through. And as the final line points out, there are a lot more of us out there just like this guy and his relationship. It's comforting to know my faults aren't so terrible as to lock me out of this world entirely. A+

March 23: "The Long Goodbye" by Brooks & Dunn

That piano and string intro may be setting off pop-country alarms, but steel guitar leads into Ronnie's unquestionably country voice. And damn it, that's a strong intro line: "I know they say if you love somebody, you should set them free / But it sure is hard to do, it sure is hard to do." Ronan Keating is not usually a name that comes to mind when one thinks of country lyrics -- even though his first hit was a cover of "When You Say Nothing At All" -- but this is some top-shelf stuff. I love how it's "big" without ever feeling over-the-top, how you can actually hear Kix in the mix for once, and how it fades out mid-solo without the tension of the lyrics letting up. This may be a lush, pretty pop ballad, but it's brought back into country territory with its simple, relatable lyrics about a breakup. There's so much to enjoy here that I'm at a loss as to why this isn't in the same league as "Boot Scootin' Boogie" or "Neon Moon." A

March 30: "Blessed" by Martina McBride

I spent most of the 2000s ragging on Martina, but honestly, I have to say this was one of her better efforts in this timespan. It's not as quirky or energetic as my personal favorite "When God-Fearin' Women Get the Blues," but there's a sense of grounding that I feel was otherwise lacking in her catalog by this point. There's a bright, simple guitar riff and some Hammond organ keeping things in line; no blaring string sections or bombastic melisma here! Each lyric is simple -- just about the beauty of the every day, the joy of having children, and the love of one's spouse. The melody is above average too, with some clever modulation at the bridge. Given how far into bombast and hyperbole at this point, I'm actually taken aback at how grounded this song is -- and all the more surprised that this one had a higher chart showing but far less staying power than "Concrete Angel," "This One's for the Girls," or "In My Daughter's Eyes." Because in my opinion, this one is far superior on all counts. B+

April 13: "I Breathe In, I Breathe Out" by Chris Cagle

Trying to deal with moving on from an ex is one of my favorite country music tropes. Chris Cagle does more than a commendable job at it on his only #1 hit, and the only reason this isn't his best take on it is because he would set the bar even higher on later songs ("Miss Me Baby" and the stunning album cut "Look at What I've Done"). This one has a very plain-spoken intro about how small talk always brings up the ex, then leads into that simple but effective chorus. It's all about taking one day at a time until everything's right again (i.e., "she comes back"). While the lyrics look so simple on paper, the vocal delivery keeps the emotions at the forefront without ever feeling over-the-top. Yet another underrated gem from this year. A-

April 20: "My List" by Toby Keith

Here, the traditional "honey do" list leads into a list of things more important on an emotional level: enjoying the beauty of nature, the company of friends and family, and just living life. Who hasn't felt crushed by the drudgery of household chores and other everyday menial tasks? This song also has a very chill melody with what sounds like a sitar, not to mention a key change that doesn't feel cliché. It never feels like it's preaching, either. Toby Keith was capable of being thoughtful and introspective when you least expected it, and while this may not hit the same high marks as "Don't Let the Old Man In," it's still highly commendable for what it sets out to accomplish. Cross "record a good motivational song" off the list, because you did it. A-

May 25: "Drive (For Daddy Gene)" by Alan Jackson

I have memories of driving my aunt's riding lawnmower, a golf cart for the church golf outing... and then being told my autism and strabismus might render me unable to drive for real. I also remember the dirt road behind my school that was later blocked off because people wouldn't stop dumping trash down it. So Alan Jackson's vivid memories of piloting dad's boat and old truck are instantly relatable to me, or to just about anyone who's been behind the wheel of anything or just had positive memories with their parents. I particularly like how the song shifts into the present day, with Alan hoping his own daughters have the same memories while they drive around in his Jeep. Alan's everyman charm and Keith Stegall's understated production are as well-matched as ever, enhancing the fantastic story-telling that I feel has always made for some of the best moments in country music. A+

June 22: "Living and Living Well" by George Strait

"Something's always missing 'til you share it with someone else" is the money line here. In true Mark Nesler fashion, this one says a lot with relatively few words. It's a treatise on enjoying things in life even more when you have someone to share it with. While that's easily comparable to the goofier take on it with Aaron Tippin's "I'll Take Love over Money" from around the same time (which admittedly I like more), this one's more serious approach works just as well. It goes down as smoothly as any other George Strait song from this era, but not so lightly as to leave zero impact. I also like how the first verse mentions a boat and the second mentions fishing, giving a greater thematic coherence that lends a little extra weight. B+

July 6: "I'm Gonna Miss Her (The Fishin' Song)" by Brad Paisley

This was the first Brad Paisley song I can remember not hitting the mark for me. It just had that "oh, the old ball and chain, am I right, guys?" energy that some hack comedian from the 70s would've churned out. To be fair, I've seen way worse takes on that type of humor even within the country genre, such as the usually reliable Bobby Braddock's shockingly offensive "Nag, Nag, Nag." Even using fishing as an excuse to ditch the Mrs. feels a bit dated -- at least he didn't say golf, which seems to be an even bigger cliché for "husband's pastime that wife hates." To be fair, Brad's delivery was more twangy and laid-back at the time, and the production is surprisingly chill for a song of this nature (especially with the casual crowd sing-along). But when your whole song sounds like it was written by the husband from The Lockhorns, you might want to step up your comedy game a bit. C

July 20: "Courtesy of the Red, White, and Blue (The Angry American)" by Toby Keith

Even though I was only 14 when 9/11 happened, I remember seeing how angry people got. It was scary to think that an act of terrorism occurred on our soil. It stirred up a lot of negative emotions that unfortunately for a lot of people spilled out into violence and bigotry. But I knew even then that the acts committed by Al-Qaeda are not representative of Muslims as a whole. Threats against America should be dealt with, but Keith's take -- in addition to the downright silly image of the Statue of Liberty shaking her fist (what did she set down to do it, the torch or the tablet?) -- fed way too hard into the ferociously jingoistic war-mongerers who'd rather hurl slurs and violence at anything they perceive as a threat than try to negotiate, reconcile, or stand up for others who need  it (like, say, all the Muslims, especially American ones, who have done absolutely nothing wrong). It is possible to be a patriot without throwing flags over everything or making violent threats, and I think Toby Keith -- like far too many of us, admittedly -- got too wrapped up in the moment (not to mention his unnecessary as hell feud with Natalie Maines) to step back and realize the unfortunate implications of his "America, Fuck Yeah" style machismo. In so many ways, this is the total antithesis to "Only in America" and "Where Were You." F

July 27: "The Good Stuff" by Kenny Chesney

The "bartender gives advice" song is hardly a unique trope, but this is probably the best take on it. It just sounds so real. This guy's had a fight, so he sits and drinks milk with a lonely bartender who reflects on his own relationship. We hear of how they got together, and how she died of cancer. It never feels manipulative or overdone, and Kenny gives a chill read that never undersells. The wordplay around the title -- you're expecting a top-shelf alcohol, not the solid advice, to be the "good stuff" -- is unexpected but well-executed. Even better, the points of enjoying the small things in life and not letting pride and ego get in the way are applicable in a great deal of situations. This is the kind of song that could've easily gone either cartoonishly hyperbolic or frustratingly vague in the wrong hands, but it threaded that needle flawlessly. The "good stuff" indeed. A+

September 14: "Unbroken" by Tim McGraw

This is another Tim McGraw winner that seemed to have zero staying power. Right out of the gate, there are some fantastic guitar textures and blues scale usage to give a unique sonic grounding, and Tim sings the hell out of it as well. Conceptually, there's nothing terribly original about the lyrics -- it's another "love gone right" narrative, to quote Kevin John Coyne of Country Universe. But I love the subtle inversion of "It feels like / No one ever left me out in the rain / Cold words still remain unspoken," and every other line just seems to fit together without feeling stale or uninspired to me. I also think it's cool that it's a rare #1 hit by a male that was written by two women. Overall, this is a good lyric made great by some great sound design. A

September 21: "I Miss My Friend" by Darryl Worley

I forgot how good Darryl Worley was before he went full-tilt jingoism. Songs like this live or die on how detailed they are, and thankfully, this one thrives. You get so much about the woman who's no longer in the narrator's life -- "the one my heart and soul confided in," the one who used to take walks in the late afternoon, the one with whom he had "silly fights." Mark Nesler was always a pro at saying a lot with few words. Worley has a calm, relaxing delivery full of charisma, and while I think it could've done without the string section, the production otherwise stays out of the song's way. Every single off his first album was gold, and it's a shame I only have one to truly gush about here. A

September 28: "Beautiful Mess" by Diamond Rio

Diamond Rio really stretched themselves around this point, and for the most part, it paid off. Like "One More Day," this one's a bit poppier, but it's still the same six guys playing and singing -- the mandolin and three-part twangy harmonies let you know right away who it is. I like how the production and arrangement manage to be upbeat and moody at the same time, setting the right tone for a guy who's so in love he can't think straight. Little details like him accidentally putting salt in his coffee and forgetting to shave add so much to the story, not to mention a little dark comedy in lines like "it might be the death of me, but I don't care." If you're wondering why Diamond Rio still had hits in the noughties, this song is the best explanation as to why; it's because they adapted without losing their core. A+

October 5: "Ten Rounds with Jose Cuervo" by Tracy Byrd

Tracy Byrd always felt like a lightweight among the hat-act crowd. Most of his songs made for good radio fodder, but he wasn't really known for substance (outside a few standouts like "Heaven in My Woman's Eyes" and "Put Your Hand in Mine"). This one isn't a particularly substantial song either, but it's not trying to be. He sounds more spirited and engaged than usual, and I dig the vibraphone and mariachi horns. The gimmick of counting off the rounds of booze doesn't overstay its welcome thanks to the song's relatively short play length, and it has a great payoff in him becoming intoxicated enough to lose count. (Although I must say, he can hold his liquor pretty well if it takes ten before he gets there.) This song strikes the right balance of being fun without being disposable. B+

October 19: "Somebody Like You" by Keith Urban

This was the moment where Keith Urban finally found his sound, thanks to that ganjo. It's an instant melodic hook and it anchors the song before you even hear a single word. And the words you do hear are almost overwhelmingly positive: "There's a new wind blowin' like I've never known / I'm breathin' deeper than I've ever done / And it sure feels good to finally feel the way I do." Even without the real-world subtext of this being his first single after a stint in rehab, the positivity is infectious. Urban sounds grittier and more confident than on his first album, absolutely selling the pure joys of being in love. Sometimes all you want is happiness, and this hits the mark. It's a well he went back to many times in this era -- my personal favorite take on it being "Once in a Lifetime" -- but it was one worth revisiting. A

November 30: "These Days" by Rascal Flatts

I love songs framed as a conversation, and this one nails it. This guy's met his ex and starts catching up on how things have been since. I love that it name-drops "Norma Jean Riley" by Diamond Rio and Doheny Street, an actual road in Costa Mesa, California -- it's those unique details that make a song like this pop. It sounds like this guy still has some thoughts about what could have been, given that he "wake[s] up in teardrops that fall down like rain," but he brushes it off by just getting back to the daily grind. And she ran off to Vegas, too. That's neat. Gary's tone is surprisingly relaxed and the production stays out of the way, helping the details of this highly likable character sketch rise to the top. A

December 21: "Who's Your Daddy?" by Toby Keith

I get it, "who's your daddy?" was an overused catch phrase in pop culture at this time. A more cynical person might joke why this song wasn't called something like "Whassup?" or "Can You Hear Me Now" or "www.memory" -- wait, what do you mean those last two are real? But in a world where "Not" by the Bellamy Brothers and the Y2K version of "A Country Boy Can Survive" exist, I think this is inoffensive enough. The concept of him being a sugar daddy could've come off gross in the wrong hands, but the guitar work and playful lyrical tone keep it lighthearted. I also like that the song is only one verse long, which does wonders to keep the joke from overstaying its welcome. But if you came up to me and said you think this is un-listenable cringe, I'd totally get it. B

December 28: "She'll Leave You with a Smile" by George Strait

A title so good, he used it twice. But thankfully, the one that became a single was the better take. "At first she's gonna come on strong / Like she'll love you all night long / Like it's going out of style / Then she'll leave you with a smile" is one of those opening lyrics that always hooked me immediately. Two of the criticisms I've seen directed at King George are that he has so many good songs but so few great ones, and can be a little lacking in substance at times. I won't say this one is quite as hard as, say, "I've Come to Expect It from You," but "being in a self-destructive relationship" is certainly a shade darker than he usually goes for. Sonically it's a bit more spaced-out too, even if not to the ethereal heights of "Run." This one's a keeper, and it leaves me with a smile every time I hear it. A

Every #1 Country Song of the 2000s: 2000

By Bobby Peacock

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January 1: "Breathe" by Faith Hill

I'm not as hard on this song as I used to be. That doesn't mean I love it; I just don't think it does anything wrong. I think at the time I was already burnt out on lush pop ballads thanks to my mom spinning Céline Dion so much. I still have an allergic reaction to the Diane Warren formula. But thankfully, where this one succeeds is by being considerably less cliché than its cohorts. "I can feel you breathe" is actually a pretty solid image that's easy to understand in the context of a grandiose love ballad. The vocals aren't nearly as histrionic as Faith would get on "There You'll Be" or "Where Are You, Christmas?" That said, every time I hear this song, my brain still automatically switches over to Cledus T. Judd's absolutely hilarious parody, "Breath." So yeah, nothing awful, just a merely okay pop ballad. B-

February 5: "Cowboy Take Me Away" by the Chicks

I'm a sucker for a good wanderlust song. It starts off strong with the lyric "I wanna touch the earth, I wanna break it in my hands / I wanna grow something wild and unruly" which is just such a sharp, distinct image. And it doesn't let up throughout the song, with pillows of blue bonnets, being out in the wild with no city buildings in sight, and all kinds of cowboy/western imagery. Each one makes sense and builds on the narrative, which is always a hallmark of this kind of song. It's hard to overstate just how damn good almost every Chicks song is, thanks to Natalie's bold voice and the crisp production and arrangements. The only reason this review seems so lackluster is because the high standards of their discography mean this song is only "great" in a sea full of amazing. A

February 26: "My Best Friend" by Tim McGraw

Sometimes it's hard to write much about a song that's just... there. There is absolutely nothing wrong with this song. It's pleasant, it has a solid sentiment behind the lyrics, Tim sings it well, but this song leaves little impact after I'm done listening to it. I had to look it up just to remember a single lyric from it. This feels like one that got to #1 entirely off the momentum of the huge hit before it, yet left no impact of its own. And sometimes that just... happens. Such is life on Music Row. B-

March 11: "Smile" by Lonestar

Sometimes it's hard to write much about a song that's just... there. There is absolutely nothing wrong with this song. It's pleasant, it has a solid sentiment behind the lyrics, Richie sings it well, but this song leaves little impact after I'm done listening to it. I had to look it up just to remember a single lyric from it. This feels like one that got to #1 entirely off the momentum of the huge hit before it, yet left no impact of its own. And sometimes that just... happens. Such is life on Music Row. B-

March 18: "How Do You Like Me Now?!" by Toby Keith

A lot of people even at the time painted this song as misogynistic and immature, but I never saw it. The guy is bragging about how much his life has improved for the better now that he's famous and his high school crush isn't. It's a narrative I can see a lot of people relating with, and on a meta level, it's a narrative Toby probably related with. This was a song his previous label had rejected, and his then-current label DreamWorks was hesitant to put it out after the predecessor ("When Love Fades") bombed. But it seems his instincts were for the best, as this was his first big crossover and the start of a new leg in his career. It's bold and cocky, but it's tempered with a playfulness that keeps it from feeling mean-spirited (such as the way the organ actually plays the "nyah nyah nyah" riff at the end). I think this song is just fun and those who dislike it either need to lighten up, or are letting his later more problematic material cast a shadow over this song. A

April 22: "The Best Day" by George Strait

One of the first times I heard this song, I was in the passenger seat of my dad's 18-wheeler somewhere in western Michigan. My parents divorced when I was 4, and over the years, his moving across the state meant I spent less and less time with him before his death. So the lyrics of memories shared with a father certainly resonate with me. Even if the final verse taking place at a wedding is predictable, the song's sentiment never feels mushy. It's helped by George Strait's calm read and the understated production; in particular, I like the tension created by the augmented chord in the opening riff. If I ranked all of George Strait's #1 hits, even counting only the Billboard ones, this would still be pretty high up there. And considering how stacked a deck that is, that's really saying something. A

May 13: "Buy Me a Rose" by Kenny Rogers feat. Alison Krauss and Billy Dean

After spending most of the '90s as nearly a non-entity, Kenny Rogers came back for a brief period with one of his best. This song's central theme of misguided attention toward a lover is already a cut above, but then you get to the twist, where he says "this is a story of you and me" and the song becomes ten times better. It's not just a story; by this point, it's an introspection -- an example of male vulnerability that I find so rare yet so compelling every time I come across it. Of course, Kenny's gravelly gravitas is in full force here, sounding tender and vulnerable against a calm, minimalistic production style with some very fine choices for vocal harmony. I always love it when veteran artists get one last rally with a great single, and this is truly one of his best on all fronts. A well-deserved comeback. A+

May 20: "The Way You Love Me" by Faith Hill

This one stumbles right out of the gate with the dodgy as hell grammar that even 13-year-old me could spot right away: "If I could grant you one wish / I wish you could see the way you kiss." It's not helped by the bland yet padded "Ooh, I love watching you, ooh, baby / When you're driving me, ooh, crazy," which just drives home the utter lack of effort on the lyrical front. It's like she wanted to capture the effervescent nature of "This Kiss" (as evidenced by that song also having the lyric "the way you love me") but just couldn't capture that lightning in a bottle. This is just forced and empty. Literally the only thing saving it from being an abject failure is the genuinely interesting double key change on the chorus. And hey, at least the country mix doesn't have those creepy Auto-Tuned backing vocals. But otherwise, this is like if someone tried to make a cake but left out most of the ingredients -- it's just a floppy, doughy mess with no flavor. D-

June 17: "Yes!" by Chad Brock

How Chad Brock ever got a record deal, I'll never know. I once compared his robotic singing voice to the title character of Free Guy. I had a "virtual singer" program on my Mac as a teen, and even it provided more nuanced vocal tracks. Which is a shame, because the underlying lyric could have worked. Even if the setup is contrived (he meets her because she moves into his old apartment and has mail in his name; they fall in love and marry), a more likable vocalist could've made it work by nailing the hook. I would've loved to hear someone more capable of a loose funny delivery, such as Toby Keith, take on this one. It's not at all hard to see why Chad Brock faded away so hard that I legit cannot find recordings of some of his later singles anywhere online. (To say nothing of his militant conservatism on social media.) Between Chad's personality-free vocal and the canned production (seriously, what's with that gurgly synth bass in the beginning that never shows up again?), all I can say is "No!" (And be thankful that at least this isn't the Y2K version of "A Country Boy Can Survive.") C-

July 8: "I Hope You Dance" by Lee Ann Womack feat. Sons of the Desert

Even at the time, I knew this was as out-of-character for Lee Ann as Alan Jackson covering Lil Wayne. A singer known for twangy, traditional, timeless fare like "A Little Past Little Rock" turns in a cold, sterile, pop ballad with no semblance of country whatsoever -- maybe it could have worked if she sounded like she wanted to be there, or if the lyrics had anything to say. This is a style of songwriting I just never liked, the way it just strings a bunch of random positive phrases together with no through line or narrative (which really set off "sellout" alarms in my head even at the time). It's like someone just cracked open a bunch of fortune cookies and just picked out the ones that rhymed. I've never understood why this is pitched as a mother-to-daughter song, when lines like "I hope you never lose your sense of wonder / Get your fill to eat, but always feel that hunger" are so broad-stroke as to instantly cover the entire canvas in beige. This played well to the Chicken Soup for the Soul crowd, but to me, it's so flavorless it makes Campbell's condensed seem like a gourmet meal in comparison. Literally the only interesting facet is Sons of the Desert's counterpoint on the chorus, but even that was scrubbed from the pop edit. D-

August 12: "What About Now" by Lonestar

This song starts off with a damn good line: "The sign in the window said for sale or trade / On the last remaining dinosaur that Detroit made / $700 was a heck of a deal / For a 400 horsepower jukebox on wheels." It's so full of vivid imagery of hitting the road and blasting some tunes with the one you love. Richie McDonald sounds like he's having fun, and the production is on point. However, there's one thing holding this back: it has a very weak melody. Nearly all of the verse is just this repeated so-mi-so-mi-so-mi-so pattern with no variation, and it doesn't get much more varied at the chorus. It's a shame the melody drags this down, because otherwise this would be one of the best post-"Amazed" cuts from a band that would spend much of this decade embarrassing themselves. B

September 9: "It Must Be Love" by Alan Jackson

I'm sorry, what was that about murder on Music Row again? Wedged between what is widely considered a high point for country music and this, a freaking Don Williams cover? AJ covering the Gentle Giant is such a no-brainer, as they both thrive on laid-back meat and potatoes fare like this. The production is the same twang you'd expect from him, not far removed from the Everything I Love album yet somehow just a tiny bit more energetic than Don's original. And it's such a simple lyric about the power of love, another theme both artists in question are quite familiar with. This one goes down so smoothly without ever feeling inconsequential, and I think it's easily a draw as to which version of this song is better -- AJ didn't change much because he didn't have to. It's just good. A

September 16: "That's the Way" by Jo Dee Messina

I've never been a fan of Jo Dee Messina's style. She never seemed to have the sass of Shania, the pipes of Faith or Martina, or the brains of Trisha -- most of her songs just felt "there" to me. However, this one works for me. It has a pretty neat opening riff full of acoustic guitar and chimes, even finding a few places to fit in a güiro. The melody is full of clever modulations, and Jo Dee sounds a lot less plastic than she usually does by finding a way to sing the chorus slightly differently each time. And honestly, it's one of the better lyrics she's picked, too. "I know from experience nothing's ever gonna make perfect sense" is a really head-turning lyric in all the right ways. I'm still not much of a fan of hers, but revisiting this after a long hiatus, I'm amazed that this one -- despite being her longest-tenured #1 and highest Hot 100 entry -- never had the staying power of "Bye Bye" or "I'm Alright," because I actually think it's slightly better than those. A- 

October 14: "Kiss This" by Aaron Tippin

2000 was apparently the year of the comeback. I always found it strange that despite his blue-collar image, two of Aaron Tippin's three #1 hits were novelty songs. And as someone who derives their usual Internet handle from one of Aaron Tippin's novelty songs, I don't object to that -- he has the goofy energy to pull a lot of this off. Case in point: a clever way of phrasing the insult "kiss my ass." It's a standard revenge narrative with a few cheeky lines (no pun intended), but the delivery is where it shines. He drops into a lower register than usual, then twangs it back up on the chorus accompanied by a crowd of female vocals (one of whom is his own wife). Simple as the lyrics are, this is a song that, like most humor, hinges on the delivery. And on that front, it succeeds. B+

October 28: "The Little Girl" by John Michael Montgomery

You know you messed up when your "motivational" Jesus song has holes in it that even a 13-year-old can see. Even at the time, I knew how massively contrived this was: a kid watches her parents die in a murder-suicide, and then is taken in by religious foster parents. She sees a picture of Jesus and says "that's the man who was by my side when my parents died." (No doubt it was one of the stock images of Jesus as a white man -- again, something I knew even at 13 was not the case.) There's no implication of trauma, and no other emotion from the girl. It's the same sort of manipulative schlock that Snopes termed "glurge" -- attempts to be motivational that are so over-the-top that you can't help but wonder how anyone believes them. Even before social media, this sort of glop was circulated via chain e-mails (in fact, that's literally how this song came to be; writer Harley Allen saw it in an e-mail). While JMM's read is remarkably free of bombast, that means nothing when something this crass and manipulative is even committed to a recording studio, never mind sent out as a single. Do yourself a favor and listen to "Friends," "No Man's Land," or any of the other great JMM songs that fell into that void of forgotten post-"Sold (The Grundy County Auction Incident)" gems in his catalog and skip this entirely. (And skip whatever the hell "Nothing Catches Jesus by Surprise" was, too.) F

November 18: "Best of Intentions" by Travis Tritt

I don't know what happened, but after 1996's The Restless Kind, Travis Tritt seemed to entirely lose his spark. Nothing else he put out afterward had anywhere near the emotional investment of his earlier ballads like "Anymore" or "Drift Off to Dream," nor the swagger of "Here's a Quarter (Call Someone Who Cares)" or "T-R-O-U-B-L-E." He just became... boring. Admittedly, this is one of his better cuts in that timespan. This is a man asking for forgiveness for not pulling his weight in the relationship, telling his apparently soon-to-be-ex that he tried his best and is disappointed that he couldn't satisfy her. I think the song structure is interesting too, with two verses, the chorus twice, then a third verse. I think the only thing holding it back is that it lacks the power of his earlier ballads. If he'd cut this in 1993, the song would just soar by that second chorus. I don't know who's to blame here -- either Billy Joe Walker Jr.'s production style was too muted, or Travis just couldn't recapture the energy of his early days. Either way, it's a damn good lyric, and I'm sure he had the best of intentions delivering it, but it really is missing that special something. B

November 25: "Just Another Day in Paradise" by Phil Vassar

Phil Vassar started his career writing slightly left-of-center slice-of-life songs. His early material includes such gems as chasing after one's ex in her Isuzu; being ghosted by someone staying at a Ramada in Birmingham; and picking up a chatty hitchhiker with her own story to tell. That same energy carried into his first album, where after reuniting with a high school flame in "Carlene," we now see the ups and downs of domestic life. Children are fighting, the milk's gone bad, and the romantic candlelight dinner is Domino's, but that's okay, because you're still with the one you love. It's so utterly charming, eccentric, and sunny that it's impossible not to love. Phil gives a bright delivery against a nicely jaunty melody. It's actually kind of a shame he used up so much of his good material so quickly. A

December 2: "We Danced" by Brad Paisley

Another artist whose early career was also full of interesting slice-of-life songs got his second #1 just afterward. "We Danced" has an interesting narrative about meeting someone who left her purse behind at a bar after hours, then dancing with her and starting up a conversation. It sounds like something that could have actually happened, and never feels contrived. I think Brad generally came off more charismatic earlier in his career, and this song is proof. It's gentle and mellow, yet never soporific. Low-stakes songs like this can be boring if they aim too low (see the "My Best Friend"/"Smile" reviews above), but this one hits the sweet spot. A-

December 16: "My Next Thirty Years" by Tim McGraw

I haven't confirmed this, but I've been told that Tim has never sung this song in concert because he doesn't like it. And I don't know why. He should have more shame toward "Indian Outlaw" or "Truck Yeah" than this. Songs about taking stock of advancing age can come off as navel-gazing or preachy, but this one doesn't overshoot. I think it helps that it's another early Phil Vassar lyric. And as someone whose family has a long history of alcoholism, the line "Drink a little lemonade and not so many beers" gets a thumbs-up from me. Maybe it's because I'm in my 30s now too, but this song has aged amazingly well, and I feel just about anyone could get something out of its inspiring message. (And then once you're done, listen to Rodney Crowell's "Earthbound" and Trout Fishing in America's "Who Knows What We Might Do.") A-