Monday Morning Memes: Country Families, Junior Brown, Thomas Rhett

Country Horror Movie Posters: Thomas Rhett

Honest Country Tweets: Sam Hunt, Satan, Dalton Domino, etc.

A Bro-Country Song Swap

Tuesday Morning Memes: Jason Derulo, Thomas Rhett, Donkey, etc.

Thanks to Kristen for this one (I just added the pics and the watermark)!

Thanks to Dewayne for this one!

Somewhere In Nashville Right Now...

Somewhere In Nashville Right Now...

A songwriter is rewriting a verse so he can fit "my bae" into the song.

Looks are winning out over talent - @Mando_lines

A former folk band hopeful is shaving his beard into a douchebag goatee.

A Luke Bryan fan just hit puberty - ‏‪@redonkulousD‬

Keith Anderson is loading the UPS truck for his morning run.

Marilyn Manson is cutting his first country single, Tailgating in Hell.

Tim Mcgraw and Kenny Chesney are being classified as "Classic Country" - @pug6994

Scott Borchetta is signing the first "bro-grass" band.

Some dearly departed country legend actually digs the new Jerrod Niemann song

and is NOT rolling in his grave.

I'm eating a peanut butter sandwich - @ToddFarrellJr

Someone is writing one of the most beautiful and inspired country songs of all time (that will be never be heard on country radio).

Rhett Akins is writing a country-rap song about John Anderson.

A man is putting zebra striped spandex under ripped jeans looking himself

in the mirror and saying THAT'S COUNTRY right thar. - @xray_don66

A producer is trying to figure out where to put the bass drop in a hot new country band's debut song.

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Thanks to Twitter pals for helping out!

Single Review: Chase Rice - Ready Set Roll

Chase Rice - Ready Set Roll
If you choose to hear this "song," you can do so here.

The first thing you hear is a pop-country-ish intro created with "instruments" (if "instruments" = 0s and 1s) used in hip-hop and pop songs then the voice of a Speak and Spell. Hmm, is this how Hank done it? No, and I don't even think Bocephus on his worst bender would be okay with this shit. 

After listening to this song once, I had to cleanse my ears for an hour with George Strait. Back to the review...

Mr. Rice helped write "Cruise" with a dozen or so other Music Row murderers, and being the young fellow that he is (he must be young, right? Just look at that backwards cap.), he thinks if one time elicits a positive response, you should repeat yourself over and over and over because that will be even better! It's like a young child telling a knock-knock joke. The parent laughs to be polite and nurturing, so the kid figures "Hey, let's do 341 more!" Speaking for everyone on planet Earth, we don't want 1 more "Cruise," much less 341!!

I imagine some semblance of this conversation went on in the writing room:

Rhett Akins: "I'm bored guys, let's challenge ourselves on this one."

Chris De Stefano: "Cool, bro."

Chase Rice: (takes shot of Fireball, grimaces) "I'm in! What's the game?"

Rhett: "Let's see how many cliches we can stuff into one song and still have it released as a potential hit single."

Chris: "But I do that every time."

Chase: "Who's Cleeshay? Is that one of your old groupies, Rhett? You dog, you!"

I count at least 7 oft-used phrases in the first verse alone, but who's counting? Not the 12-19 year olds who are buying this crap. It's all new to them. But is it? It's getting to the point that the writers are repeating themselves as fast as they can wipe their butt-sweat off the tailgate and pour another jar of store-bought moonshine, not just waiting a few years to give people time to forget that last "rock your world." How can you not get sick of the same imagery and thematic concepts (LOL, concepts…that would require conceptualizing) when they show up in 3 out of 4 songs?

We got trucks, we got tires, we got lips, we got sexy, we got hip hop phrasing, we got trucks, we got drinking. We got us a hit song, Rhett! 

If it ain't getting worse, it's dragging the bottom at "ninety to nothin'." This is not even a well written party song, it's just a grocery list of triteness wrapped in false edginess. Move on, Nashville.

F

Single Review: Lee Brice - Parking Lot Party

Lee Brice has gone from releasing a song that sounded like it should be a Nashville circa-2013 standard piece o' crap to putting out one that actually is. "I Drive Your Truck" was a bracing, emotional tribute to a fallen soldier that out-kicked its coverage, so to speak, and went to number one on a wave of both critical and popular acclaim.

"Parking Lot Party" is exactly what you think it is - an anthem for getting pre-sauced in the parking lot before a concert. It's a country keyword fest. Redneckism porn.
Trucks are represented:
"Tailgate buzz just a sippin' on suds"
Name-dropping occurs:
"A little Marshall Tucker on the radio"
Beer:
"25 tall boys on the chill"
A nod to hip-hop hype men:
"Cause there ain't no party like the pre-party
and after the party is the after-party"
Also, "it's about time to pass that shine around," because what suburban country boy party is complete without a little "moonshine" bought at the grocery store?

It's summer single release season, so none of this is unexpected. It's a disappointment however, coming from Brice, who's proven himself a strong writer who usually steers clear of cliche. I suppose the setting (as opposed to that presumably highly-rutted farmer's pasture all the other parties happen in) makes this a little more unique, but it's really just "same song-different verse."

The fact that the tailgate party never actually proceeds into the concert venue, due to too much fun and possibly financial issues, adds one minor original turn to the story, but really, this is stock Nashville fun. There's even fake crowd noise and a radio station intro (on the album version: I haven't heard the radio mix) to take "PLP" into pure cheese territory.

Thomas Rhett, his dad, and Luke Laird also had a hand in the writing of this tune ...because of course they did.

Let's hope Brice dips back into his well of creativity on the next outing. Nothing to see here.

C-

The Peach Pickers say...