Farce the Music: Run the Jewels

If Cole Swindell wrote a Christmas song…

You're my only Christmas wish
With lips like cherry shine
In my truck bed with bows and twine
That's how I made you mine

If Run the Jewels wrote a Christmas song…

Shut the f**k up and lend me your ear
F**kboys know it's that time of year
Fat motherf**ker coming down the chimney
Run them jewels Santa, take that sack home empty

If Lorde wrote a Christmas song…

I'm kind of over getting told to rock around the Christmas tree, so there
So all the eggnog got spilled there on the gifts but it wasn't my fault

If Chris Tompkins wrote a Christmas song…

I just got through delivering toys all over the world
X-box Ones and Frozen dolls for all the bros and girls
Fireball and cookies for me, the reindeer know the way
I'm getting drunk in a sleigh

If Sturgill Simpson wrote a Christmas song…

Poinsettias swirling round and round
Green and red on thread on thread
Walk that line to Santa's lap
And he whispers "Sonny, it's all crap."

1. John Moreland - In the Throes
John Moreland writes razor edged lines that grab your attention and tear your heart out. Next time you listen to the same song, you'll notice that the following line was just as good - you just happened to miss it marveling at the previous one. In fact, there's hardly a throwaway line on the whole of In the Throes, and nary a song worth skipping. The mood of the record certainly wasn't right to be my album of the year (it's been a rough one), but the best is the best, regardless of tempo or context. In the Throes is pretty low-key and gray in emotional content, but it's just too good to be denied. Moreland has distilled all his strengths (with the exception of his rocking side, which is also very strong) into this stunning work of great craft and heart which stands deservingly as FTM's #1 album of 2013. Standouts: All of them, but if I must pick, 3:59 and Blacklist.

2. Jason Isbell - Southeastern
Southeastern is a modern classic. This is an inescapable truth arrived at by a tidal wave of critical approval and fan appreciation. Jason Isbell is Americana's Entertainer of the Year and Southeastern is the Album of the Year; I don't care what any official organizations say. Isbell has done more positive for the genre than anyone else, including the folk-renaissance dudes who actually got radio play. "Elephant" is incredible and if it didn't mist your eyes at some point this year, I don't know …maybe your heart is way too tiny, Mr. Grinch. "Traveling Alone" is remarkable and romantic. "Relatively Easy" is insightful on a personal and wide scope. Southeastern is a masterpiece and what's scary is that Isbell is probably just getting started.

3. Sturgill Simpson - High Top Mountain
Sturgill Simpson may not be the savior of country music, but he sure looks and sounds the part. This laid-back Kentuckian has the voice of an outlaw country god to go alongside his witty and insightful writing style. His songs are sorrowful, heartfelt, clever and self-deprecating, sometimes within the same tune. He probably gets a bit tired of the Waylon comparisons, but if there's a modern incarnation of that legend, Simpson has the talent and grit to at least make a valiant go at filling those shoes. High Top Mountain is an essential edition to any fan of real country music's collection. Standouts: You Can Have the Crown, Old King Coal.

4. Arliss Nancy - Wild American Runners
There is female frontal nudity on the cover of Arliss Nancy's stellar Wild American Runners. That it took someone pointing that out for me to even notice it speaks to the substance over style aesthetic of this hard-rocking, hard-living band. Sliding into the punk meets country standard-bearer position of early Lucero, the already musically strong Arliss Nancy has taken their songwriting to a new level with their 3rd release. "Vonnegut" and "Nathaniel" are among the best songs released in any genre this year. The former's "Everything was beautiful and nothing hurt" is one of the most affecting codas I've ever heard.

5. Drew Kennedy - Wide Listener
Full disclosure: I consider Drew Kennedy a friend. He's a good dude who I've had the opportunity to hang out with before, during and after a few shows here in Mississippi. That said, I've never let that affect my reviews or feelings about his music. As much as I've listened to him (Last.fm says I've played his songs 1,654 times), I still always find his songs to take some time to "get." Maybe it's Drew's poetic style or his unique vocals, but every time I hear his music, it's a new experience. To me, that's the mark of a great artist, and Wide Listener is his strongest and most layered work to date. The fact that he brought in a few co-writers this time around doesn't change the artistic vision or stylistic voice of Kennedy's work. Standouts: Hello Goodbye, Jackson Square.

6. Run the Jewels - s/t (still free!)
Killer Mike and EL-P's last albums were among my favorites of 2012. Putting two of my favorite rappers together on a full album sounds like a no-brainer, but chemistry isn't guaranteed, even between two creative artists with similar takes on hip-hop. Thankfully, Run the Jewels may even be better than the sum of its parts… and its respective parts are already cream of the crop. This is a party album with a ton of boasts and brags, but it never plays to the "bling and booty" crowd. It's a smart take on culture and good times that's full of memorable lines, but also cohesive songwriting. The production is dirty, raucous and bass-driven, but never aggressively off-putting (like that of a certain rapper on top of everybody's else's lists). I've listened to this album more than any other in 2013 and it looks like 2014 will be another year of RTJ as they've already announced a follow-up.

Standouts: Sea Legs, Banana Clipper

7. Brandy Clark - 12 Stories
Brandy Clark may not be the savior of country music but… wait, this sounds familiar. In country's "year of the woman" (critically not commercially, unfortunately), Clark stood at the forefront, at least for me. Kacey Musgraves might be the most recognizable face of the movement, but Clark is the most vital part of it. Her songwriting is superb, from the knowing ache of "What'll Keep Me Out of Heaven" to the smart-assed wit of "Stripes," she knows her way around a hook and through the ins and outs of the human condition. She's not the stone country throw-back that a Sturgill Simpson is; Clark is what country music should sound like in 2013 if it had evolved without so many greedy influences mutating the DNA. 12 Stories is a progressive work of heart and humor that honors its predecessors while gracefully arching towards the horizon.

8. Austin Lucas - Stay Reckless
Austin Lucas was a drain on my emotions this year. His post-divorce album, Stay Reckless, is mostly a shaded journey through loneliness and acceptance. There are great rockers like "Alone in Memphis" but again… alone. Lucas never sounded better, his voice aching with expression most singers could only dream of. "Splinters," an exploration of the uncertain reasons for the end of a relationship, is a deflating but gorgeous way to end the album on the saddest note possible.
Thanks a lot, Austin.

9. Fifth on the Floor - Ashes and Angels
Fifth on the Floor is the quintessential southern rock band working today. Theirs is a powerful, distinct and gritty take on a sub-genre that has become increasingly tiresome in the hands of less skilled bands. Ashes & Angels mostly steers clear of cliche with strong lyrics, modern attitude, and a mission to bring the rock. Lead singer Justin Wells is a mountain of a man with a voice to match and his cohorts are all excellent players. From the raucous "Whiskey" to the soulful "Angels in the Snow" to the excellent My Morning Jacket cover, "One Big Holiday," Ashes & Angels is an excellent entry from the premier band still carrying the southern rock flag.

10. Ashley Monroe - Like a Rose
Nine songs wasn't enough unless Ashley Monroe's plan was to leave us wanting more. On that count, Like a Rose is a job well done. Monroe's earthen angel vocals and gracefully edgy writing made this an album to return to over and again. Confessional and universal at once, Like a Rose gave us modern sentiment wrapped in a timeless package. Monroe covers regret, crime, drinking, lost love and a marriage in need of a little spice. What more could you need in a country album? More songs maybe… Standouts: Morning After, Two Weeks Late