Showing posts with label The Chicks. Show all posts
Showing posts with label The Chicks. Show all posts

Dec 17, 2020

What Your Favorite 2020 Album Says About You Part 2

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Waylon Jennings - What Goes Around Comes Around

You have good taste, but are either convinced no good country music came out after 1979, or have suffered a lot of memory loss from the cocaine and pills.


Florida-Georgia Line - 6-Pack

You had never heard of Charley Pride until last week. You pronounce “EP” (which this is, not an album) as if it rhymes with “step.” You’re a contractor who only has negative reviews for driving like an a**hole.


Ashley McBride - Never Will

You are a strong, independent woman who don’t need no man. Or you’re anybody else with an ear for worthy music, actually. It’s damn good.


Hardy - A Rock

You’re a 25-32 year old male who lost his identity once bro-country went out of fashion and you are so damn thankful you now have something new to crank out of your 2013 ragged-out Raptor with the fading “Lifted Cause Fat Chicks Can’t Jump” sticker.


The Chicks - Gaslighter

You forced yourself to believe this is a great album to fit in with the other trendy left-leaning country fans on Twitter. You’re not enthused with Joe Biden, and are even less enthused with me making you do a self-assessment of what you really think of this, The Chicks’ worst album by a long shot.


Luke Bryan - Born Here, Live Here, Die Here

The last book you read was The Hunger Games. You only have a “Blue Lives Matter” sticker on your car so you won’t get a ticket for going 60 in a 35 every day taking your kids to soccer practice. 


Jason Isbell & The 400 Unit - Reunions

You are a sports writer. You frequently work “30-50 feral hogs” into everyday conversations.


Trapt - Shadow Work

You think the Covid vaccine is a Chinese ploy to seed the American population with mind control nanobots. You were one of the 12 people in attendance at Trapt’s most recent concert. You are the lead singer of Trapt. 


American Aquarium - Lamentations

You are not a pecan farmer. 


AC/DC - Power Up

This is the first album you purchased since AC/DC’s Black Ice. Your wife is tired of your vaping. You blame the pandemic for your weight gain, but you couldn’t fit in those size 36 Levi’s even last November.


Oct 30, 2020

Graphic Designers Decry Trend of Singers Designing Own Album Covers

by Trailer - Originally posted on Country California, April 01, 2011 

Freddie Robison of Ink Media Designs in Nashville is pissed. "Who do they think they are?!" he rants. "I went to school for this sh*t. And you wonder why every other new cover uses Bleeding Cowboys font…" 


The music industry's downturn in recent years has been a challenge to design firms specializing in art and marketing for the music industry, but the latest wrinkle is proving to be the most disconcerting. 


"I got an email directly from a major country star a couple of weeks ago," explained Robison. "I won't say who, but it rhymes with 'rustin' chore.' Anyway, it said 'This is the artwork for my new album cover, please check to make sure it's ready for printing.'" Robison continued: "There was nothing attached so I replied and let him know. The next email had a .html file attached that wouldn't open in any software I own. I replied again and said that I'd need a high-res tiff or jpeg file. Well, I got a jpeg, but it was 100x100 pixels and 72 dpi. It went on like this for some time before I just redesigned the damn thing myself and didn't charge him." 


Robison went on to say that he wasn't picking on "rustin' chore" in particular, but that this was now the rule, not the exception. More and more – their cash stretched thin from declining album sales – artists have turned to writing their own songs… and now, designing their own album and website art. 


This has resulted in reduced productivity among prepress professionals and graphic artists across the Nashville area. Missing fonts, lack of bleed, RGB color, bad file types, corrupt files, low resolution photographs and other issues have been reported in multitude. 


"Seriously though, how hard can you pinch a dime? My firm gets $85-100 bucks an hour for this… I don't even take home a quarter of that. It's hard to keep gas in a Maybach, I guess," pondered Robison. 

Robison also told us of one flat-chested female singer who'd simply used Photoshop Elements to copy and paste Kim Kardashian's chest over her own for her inner sleeve photo. "And she used Comic Sans for her lyrics… I mean, WTF?" 

Sep 10, 2020

Famous Protest Songs Updated for 2020


Fear not, this picks on everybody.


Watch the NFL My Ass (I Won't Watch the NFL)

A Can of Soup’s Gonna Fall

American Twittiot

All She Wants to Do is Tik Tok

The Cancellation Will Not Be Televised

Agent Orange Man Bad

Influencer Blues (Make Me Wanna Holler)

The Lonesome Death of Mr. Peanut

If You Tolerate Masks, Your Children Will Be Next

Walking on the Offended Side of Me

Defund Tha Police

Not Ready to Make Rice (Uncle Ben’s)

Meme is Murder

Working Class MAGA

Free Joe Exotic

Get Up Stand Up (is Ableist)

Mercy Mercy Me (The Quarantine)

Another Pylon in the Wall

We Shall Be Socialist

Trump Boat Parade (Bulls on Parade)

Biden in the Wind

Murder Hornet Most Foul

The Night They Drove Hobby Lobby Down

Jul 17, 2020

Really Dumb Country Reviews: July 2020

Really reviews from a popular music service.
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Florida-Georgia Line - 6 Pack

Diplo - Snake Oil



Margo Price - That's How Rumors Get Started


Luke Bryan - Born Here Live Here Die Here
(It's not out yet, dummy)

The Chicks - Gaslighter
 
 

Morgan Wallen - If I Know Me

Eric Church - "Stick That In Your Country Song"




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