Showing posts with label Thomas Rhett. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Thomas Rhett. Show all posts

Mar 24, 2022

Brutally Honest Country Top 20: March '22

By Bobby Peacock




 

Hey Dude Country Reaction Gifs

When the newbie asks "Hey, do you guys like country music, like Thomas Rhett?"

When Danny says he stopped to take a piss at the Florida-Georgia Line one time

Somebody defending Walker Hayes music

Name something in country radio's main demographic but not on their airplay lists

Review Lady A's last 3 singles

When some bro asks you to the Aldean concert on a date

Still better than listening to a Dan + Shay song

Luke Bryan's latest hit be like


Jan 14, 2022

Lawsuit Filed Against Dollar General Over Mainstream Country Played in Stores

A man in rural Georgia has filed a lawsuit against the retail giant Dollar General over the music played in their stores. Carl Schwartz, the attorney filing the suit, alleges that the mainstream country music regularly played over their loudspeakers has attributed to the man’s mental anguish and caused him irreparable emotional harm over the years.

“My client, a regular customer of Dollar General, has been subjected to a distressing amount of Luke Bryan, Walker Hayes, and Kane Brown during each visit to one of their establishments,” said Schwartz. “The constant barrage of trucks, appropriated slang, and shallow subject matter has caused him an unreasonable amount of anger, sadness, and physical discomfort.”

Schwartz went on to say that no matter which Dollar General his plaintiff entered, whether the one on the bypass, the one next to the one on the bypass, the one over on 16, or the one close to his house, the same brainless bile was pumping through the speaker system as he attempted to dash in for paper towels or a six pack of Pabst. “We will attempt to establish that the endless loop of Florida-Georgia Line, Thomas Rhett, and Sam Hunt brought real and provable trauma upon his quality of life. Hell, that “shake it for the catfish” song alone should be barred from use as a war prisoner coercion method.”

Dollar General, in a statement, said that the lawsuit was ‘frivolous’ and that any judge would throw out the case on its lack of merit alone. “The plaintiff, while not named to the public at this time, is a well known troublemaker once banned from one of our competitors over similar matters,” said DG’s lead attorney Mark Torrance. “He’s a nut; who doesn’t sing along to that Applebees song??”

At press time, the plaintiff was apparently willing to settle out of court for Turnpike Troubadours tickets, room and board.

Dec 2, 2021

Ren & Stimpy Country Reaction Gifs

When somebody slid in my DMs last week and told me Turnpike was getting back together

When "Misery and Gin" shows up in a playlist

Getting inspired to write an Americana song...


Still better written than whatever Walker Hayes' latest is

A Florida-Georgia Line songwriting session

Mr. Horse, please review Thomas Rhett's "Slow Down Summer"

Mainstream country radio fans be like...

If you don't like Turnpike Troubadours, you can kiss

Nov 19, 2021

Pop-Country Singer Describes Every Album as “Getting Back to His Roots”

As a popular pop-country singer with several number one hits to his name prepares to release his newest album, he’s revealing more of himself than ever before since the previous album. “I’m getting back to my roots,” smiles the affable, handsome young man. “That is purposely vague because I listened to lots of different trendy artists at different times in my life, so you never know what you’ll get.”

He went on to say that this particular “return to his roots” will focus on his late-teens when he was really into Blink 182 and Shania Twain. The return to his roots on his last release was a return to the 90s country of his childhood. “I’m not being inauthentic when I refer to ‘my roots’ because I have a lot of options to pick from - 2Pac in my mid-teens; Garth in 5th grade; Lil Nas X in 2018 - it can go wherever it needs to based on the prevailing winds of what makes me more money.” said the refreshingly transparent superstar. 

Also of note, handsomefamilymancountrysinger says that this album is his most personal yet. “It gives you a look into the psyche of a man whose last single underperformed, so his record company got antsy and asked him to dig deeper in search of something that would make more money for my person.” he laughed. “Also, I co-wrote one more song this go round, so it is literally more personal.”


While this all seems a bit jaded and flakey, blandfacialhairbro’s management assured us that the new record is an organic attempt at showing the world an unflinchingly honest view of a performer desperately hoping to add a heated salt-water pool to his family’s ski chalet.


At press time, the singer provided us with one more quote about the upcoming project: “People will see more of me in this work than ever before …because I’m wearing shorts on the inside of the album art!”


Sep 23, 2021

Wrasslin' Country Reaction Gifs #53

When somebody tries to tell me how good Arlo McKinley is

There's probably a Dan + Shay joke in here, but I won't go there

When your southern rock band is trying to look fake tough

"How does going to see Luke Bryan with me sound?"

When your friend moved, but he still has your Waylon vinyl he borrowed

Do you ever feel bad for talking so much shit about Florida-Georgia Line?

When somebody says Thomas Rhett redeemed himself with "Country Again"

Trying to stay humble while somebody talks about my good taste in music

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