Showing posts with label Tim McGraw. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Tim McGraw. Show all posts
Oct 22, 2019
Untrue Facts About Cody Jinks, Miranda Lambert, etc.
Labels:
Brantley Gilbert,
Cody Jinks,
memes,
Miranda Lambert,
Satire,
Tim McGraw,
Untrue Facts
Aug 26, 2019
Monday Morning Memes: John Wick, Kane Brown, Morgan Wallen
Labels:
Diplo,
John Wick,
Kane Brown,
MCU,
memes,
Morgan Wallen,
Old Town Road,
Satire,
Tim McGraw
Aug 20, 2019
Local Man Arrested for Destruction of Pop-Country Playing Jukebox
Local bowler and country music fan Reginald Spears, 46, has been arrested for destruction of property at an area bowling alley. Last Saturday at 9:15 PM, Spears was taken into custody for destroying the facility's jukebox with his 17 pound black-speckled Brunswick ball.
Released on bail, Mr. Spears sat down and spoke with FNN correspondent Trailer about the events that had transpired on the previous Saturday.
"Well, it goes like this," started Spears. "I was about to bowl my first 300 game; I was down to my final muthaf***ing frame and you know what come on the jukebox? F***ing Glory-anner. I'd dealt with Jason Aldean, Tim McGraw and Taylor Swift through 10 freaking perfect rolls, but that 'Wild at Heart' song just jerked me out of my zone… I went right in the gutter, g**dammit!"
"My name is not on a little wooden plaque at the Southpaw Lanes because of a damn show choir!!" raged Reginald. "My blood started boilin' in the sixth set when somebody played that dirty sumb*tch Kid Rock, but I let it slide with the help of some cold, sweet High Life…"
Missing out on the first perfect game cranked Reginald into an unbridled fury. Witness reports have him cursing at a high volume before retrieving his ball from the return. He walked semi-calmly to where the change machine and jukebox rest against the south wall before going into his locally revered wind-up.
"He bowled a strike on that one!" laughed Percy Garvin, local 205 average bowler. "I gave him a high five. I hate country music! Why can't anybody around here ever order up some Clarence Carter?"
Spears' shot hit squarely in the middle of the "new fangled" digital jukebox, smashing two speakers and the hard drive, ending the evening's musical accompaniment. Insurance adjusters called it a total loss, valuing the jukebox at $1250.35.
"I smiled in the mug shot… Hell, I'm proud of what I did," said a defiant Mr. Spears. "I struck a blow against mainstream country and against that dumb*ss drunk sorority girl who paid half a dollar to hear crap."
Reginald Spears has been banned from Southpaw Lanes and removed from the local league, prompting this response from the accused: "I don't give a fried f**k; I'm going into golf now. That's the only other sport you can drink while you play."
Jun 26, 2019
Who's the King, Kane??
Labels:
George Strait,
Kane Brown,
memes,
Satire,
Tim McGraw
Feb 25, 2019
More Monday Memes: Oscars, Mitchell Tenpenny, Tim McGraw
Labels:
memes,
Mitchell Tenpenny,
Oscars,
Satire,
Tim McGraw
Feb 4, 2019
More Monday Memes: Kane Brown, Jerry Reed, Super Bowl Bud Light Ad
Jan 16, 2019
The Next Smash for Jordan Lynch or Mitchell Davis or Whoever
If You Say I'm Not Country
©2019 FTM Lyrical Satirical
I like sugar in my unsweet tea
And my Texas chili full of beans
And I'll be on your ass like jeans
If you say I'm not country
I like to hunt a little snipe
And eat honeysuckle when it's ripe
And mister I might pull a knife
If you say I'm not country
Cause I'm from where they sing about
in songs from Kenny and Tim
Down there on that ol' rural route
Where I have definitely been
Church and mama and all that stuff
And girls sweet as Georgia plums
If you say I'm not, I'll call your bluff
I'm as country as they come
I love to crank those old outlaw songs
Turn up the Brantley and sing along
I'll throw hands and prove you wrong
If you say I'm not country
Cause I love me a Grizzly pouch
There's red on my neck skin
From working tater fields down south
Where I have definitely been
Shine and biscuits and all that stuff
And girls sweet as Georgia plums
If you say I'm not, I might get rough
I'm as country as they come
Bridge
You can say I use snap beats
You can say I'm auto-tuned
But you can't say I'm not country
Just look at my Aldean tattoo
Yeah I'm from where they sing about
in songs from Kenny and Tim
Down there on that ol' rural route
Where I have definitely been
Church and mama and all that stuff
And girls sweet as Georgia plums
If you say I'm not, I'll call your bluff
I'm as country as they come
Nov 19, 2018
Monday Morning Memes: Tim McGraw, Old Dominion, Marty Stuart
Labels:
Hoobastank,
Marty Stuart,
memes,
Old Dominion,
Satire,
Spongebob Squarepants,
Tim McGraw
Oct 31, 2018
Sep 24, 2018
Monday Morning Memes: Mitchell Tenpenny, Reba, Kane Brown
Labels:
George Strait,
Kane Brown,
memes,
Mitchell Tenpenny,
Reba,
Satire,
Tim McGraw
May 31, 2018
Apr 2, 2018
More Obvious Country Memes: Alan Jackson, Patty Loveless, Tim McGraw
Labels:
Alan Jackson,
memes,
Patty Loveless,
Satire,
Tim McGraw
Mar 27, 2018
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