Farce the Music: Tyler Childers

Oct 14, 2022

Childers Concert Halted So Everybody Can Make Fun of Guy Wearing Childers T-shirt

“What a f***ing loser!” laughed Tyler Childers fan Mark Sternum, pointing at a fellow concert-goer. “Would you wear a shirt with your favorite physician’s picture on it to the doctor’s office?”

The odd interaction occurred three songs into a recent Childers concert when everyone in attendance realized that one attendee, Terrence Holcomb, was clad in a shirt of the artist currently performing on stage. To the ignorant this may not seem a big deal, but to in-the-know music fans, it’s a definite party foul.

“You don’t wear a shirt of the band you’re watching to the concert… it’s concert etiquette 101,” explained dad-hat-wearing-hipster Sternum. “As Jeremy Piven said in PCU, ‘don’t be that guy.’”

To that end, the concert came to a complete halt one verse into “Old Country Church,” as the throng of fans erupted in laughter, insults, and finger pointing. The band even stopped playing to marvel at the utter obliviousness of the buffoon.

Holcomb himself didn’t understand what was happening. “I saw a few people looking over their shoulder at me and whispering,” he explained. “I thought I had a booger or something, but then the whispering turned to shoulder nudging and pointing.”

When the pointing swelled into an entire venue of people laughing and jeering at him, Holcomb just shrugged and sheepishly walked back toward the bar. There, the bartender filled numbnuts in on his stupid mistake.

“That’s an idiotic f***ing rule,” said a visibly angry Holcomb. “I bet half these jackasses wear the jersey of the team they support to the games, how is this any different?”

To add to Mr. Holcomb’s humiliation, even Childers chimed in before restarting the show. “What a dumbass!” laughed Childers. “Sir, you are banned from my shows for life. I can’t stand to see fans supporting me!”

At press time, Terrence Holcomb was seeing a therapist.